In this episode, Dr. Kim talks with author and pastor Heath Hardesty about his new book, All Things Together. Heath shares how his time apprenticing under his earthly father became a living picture of what it means to be an apprentice of our Heavenly Father. They discuss what it looks like to live as image bearers in a fragmented world, why discipleship is more than “extra credit,” and how God redeems, not erases, our humanity. Together, they unpack how to see with wonder again, order our imagination around Christ, and live a whole, beautiful life that reflects Him.

Episode Takeaways:

• Wholeness comes from staying connected, not from doing more.
• Slowing down is often the most spiritual thing we can do.
• God loves us and desires to dwell with us.
• Our focus and intention shape the way we experience life and who we become.
• Life feels scattered because we’re often living disconnected from what truly grounds us.
• Our actions are connected to our faith.
• We ache and long for relationship with our Creator. He is a good Father.

Quotes from this Episode:

How we imagine the world really affects how we inhabit it.

Technology can connect, but the digital world often pulls us apart—scattering our presence across time and place until we forget what it means to truly be together.

When we take things out of context and mix the sacred with the trivial, our souls are shaped by confusion and chaos.

God weaves beauty from even the most ordinary or unwanted chapters of our stories—if we let Him, nothing is wasted.

We are made to be apprentices of the Master—union, abiding, obeying, and becoming like Him is the heart of how we truly change.

Faith isn't just belief in our heads—it's trust that spills out through our hands, our words, our feet, our relationships. It's embodied and lived.

Serving others, especially those closest to us, by following Christ's example, transforms both them and us. True love is found in humble service.

Faith has everything to do with our hands, our feet, our mouth, and our relationships. It’s an embodied thing.

Reflect on This:

1. Where does life feel most rushed right now? How can you invite Jesus into this space instead of just trying harder?
2. What small daily habit or rhythm is shaping you the most right now, for better or for worse?
3. If following Jesus is more about apprenticeship than perfection, what is one simple practice you could lean into this week to stay more connected to Him?

Mentioned in this Episode:

Never miss a Wider Lens episode. Listen here.

Heath Hardesty is on Instagram.

Purchase All Things Together: How Apprenticeship to Jesus Is the Way of Flourishing in a Fragmented World by Heath Hardesty

Find Dr. Kim on Instagram

Are you caught in a maze and don’t even know it? Today, Dr. Kim is joined by Ryan Wekenman to talk about the maze of self-centeredness we all have to navigate. When we begin living for applause, appreciation, or validation, we can easily drift out of sync with the Lord and into a life focused on serving ourselves—the exact opposite of what God calls us to. In this powerful conversation, Ryan and Dr. Kim challenge us to recognize the pull toward self-focus and invite us to shift our attention back where it belongs: fully on Jesus. We pray this episode encourages you to take the focus off yourself and go all in on Him.

Episode Takeaways:

• Self-centeredness is a spiritual issue that affects everyone.

• Control is often at the root of self-centeredness.

• We need to be intentional about serving others.

• Self-improvement should not come at the expense of God-centered living.

• The Lord is our shepherd; we lack nothing when we trust Him.

• Finding freedom comes from letting go of the need for validation.
  

Quotes from this Episode:

If Satan can't get you to not worship, he'll try to get you to make worship about you.

You don't need self-help. First and foremost, you need God's help.

The problem isn't self-help. The problem is thinking that self-help will save.

The way towards abundant life is serving and it's humbling yourself.

There's so much freedom on the other side of letting that performer in you die.

I think we have to be intentional about that because it's easy to absorb the culture and let that just become part of, well, everybody's doing it.- Dr. Kim

I think one thing that God has taught me and I still struggle with at times is learning to celebrate others. - Dr. Kim

I think what God is teaching me now, as old as I am, is that just do what I want you to do. - Dr. Kim

Time to Reflect:

1. Where in my life am I most tempted to seek applause, appreciation, or validation instead of simply seeking the Lord?
   
   
2. How might my focus on myself be affecting the way I love and serve my spouse and the people around me?
   
   
3. What is one practical way I can shift my focus from myself to Jesus in my daily decisions and interactions this week?

Connect with Ryan:

• Website: ryanwekenman.com; redrocksaustin.com

• Podcast: Afterthoughts Podcast; Stories in Scripture     

• Instagram: instagram.com/ryanwekenman     

• YouTube: YouTube.com/@ryanwekenman

In a world full of distractions and pressure to perform, how do we keep our identity rooted in Christ instead of our work?

In this episode, Dr. Kim sits down with long time friend, Terry Storch, to talk about leadership, stewardship, and the often unseen cost of carrying responsibility that affects others. From navigating pressure and seasons of life to holding the tension between efficiency and presence, this discussion explores where leadership ends and identity begins.

Be encouraged to establish healthy rhythms, protect what’s sacred, and remain centered on Christ—remembering that the work will come and go, expectations will shift, and seasons will change, but all glory belongs to Him.

Episode Takeaways:

The “work” of life was never meant to give you value. Only our Creator can do that.

Accomplishments and achievements are driven by healthy rhythms.

The technology advancements create unique pressures and require adaptability.

Finding centeredness in a distracted world is essential for faith.

Quotes from this Episode:

“Life is a season of wilderness after wilderness because we're not in the garden yet.”

“I want to be known for the small little things that I did for those people right around me.”

"The need for centeredness, the need for Jesus, is more important now than ever."

"Technology, for the most part, is neutral, like money. It can be used for really good things and really bad things."

"The real story is the commitment to surrender and release, knowing it's not mine.

Take a Wider Look:

1. How do I define my identity beyond my accomplishments, and what steps can I take to focus more on who I am becoming?

2. In what ways might I be allowing the distractions of the world to pull me away from my core values or spiritual focus?

3. How can I separate my calling from my vocation, and what changes might I need to make to align my work with my deeper purpose?

You all loved this conversation in the fall so we are kicking off our Wider Lens 2026 with a rerelease of this awesome interview. Jerry Flowers is bringing encouragement about the patterns of your life and posture of your heart as we talk through his new book Heart Rehab: Finding the You God Created You to Be. Lean into the discomfort, create disciplines for preparedness, and surrender your need for control in order to step into your true calling as a son or daughter of the Lord Almighty. He loves you, he is for you, and we can trust him with our hearts!

Episode Highlights:

Stop blaming everyone else. Take time for self reflection. 

If we invite God in, He can use all seasons for our good and growth.

Intimacy with the Lord allows us to grow into the people God created us to be. 

Discipline and preparation go hand in hand. The more disciplined you are, the more prepared you are for what God has next. 

Culture influences us to mislabel our fears, thoughts and anxieties. Make sure you are labeling them correctly.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

I recognize many times, our placement in life isn't just because of problems, it's because of patterns. -Jerry Flowers

Patterns reveal character. -Jerry Flowers

Patterns are one of the ushers to certain seasons. -Jerry Flowers

We want to blame the enemy, but we have to look at ourselves too. -Jerry Flowers

Be aware of the enemy, for sure. But I think sometimes that keeps us from taking responsibility for our part. -Jerry Flowers

It may not make sense right then, but later it’ll make sense. -Jerry Flowers

I see things that God put me through, before we got married, that helped me when I got married. -Dr. Kim

We want to be whole enough where the Lord can pour into us and we can pour back out.- Jerry Flowers

If you want results, you lean into discomfort.- Jerry Flowers

What changed for me is realizing that my mind can lie to me. -Jerry Flowers

A Wider Lens: Questions for Self Reflection

1. Look at your daily life and identify one unhealthy pattern you’ve grown comfortable with.
   
   
   

2. What one discipline could you start practicing to combat this pattern and prepare for what God has next?
   
   
   

3. Identify an area of your life you haven’t fully surrendered to the Lord. Choose a Scripture verse to meditate on as you commit to trusting Him completely.

   
   
   

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Website: Jerryflowersministries.com ; redefinedtv.net

• Facebook: facebook.com/JerryFlowersMinistries ; facebook.com/@redefinedtv

• Instagram: instagram.com/jerryflowers.jr ; instagram.com/redefinedtv

• YouTube: youtube.com/@Beredefined

• TikTok: tiktok.com/@jerryflowers.jr

• Heart Rehab: Finding the You God Created You to Be

This is such an incredible conversation to wrap up our Fridays in the Fall, Wider Lens series. Jerry Flowers is bringing encouragement about the patterns of your life and posture of your heart as we talk through his new book Heart Rehab: Finding the You God Created You to Be. Lean into the discomfort, create disciplines for preparedness, and surrender your need for control in order to step into your true calling as a son or daughter of the Lord Almighty. He loves you, he is for you, and we can trust him with our hearts!

Episode Highlights:

Stop blaming everyone else. Take time for self reflection. 

If we invite God in, He can use all seasons for our good and growth.

Intimacy with the Lord allows us to grow into the people God created us to be. 

Discipline and preparation go hand in hand. The more disciplined you are, the more prepared you are for what God has next. 

Culture influences us to mislabel our fears, thoughts and anxieties. Make sure you are labeling them correctly.

Strong core beliefs help us combat the lies of society and satan.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

I recognize many times, our placement in life isn't just because of problems, it's because of patterns. -Jerry Flowers

Patterns reveal character. -Jerry Flowers

Patterns are one of the ushers to certain seasons. -Jerry Flowers

We want to blame the enemy, but we have to look at ourselves too. -Jerry Flowers

Be aware of the enemy, for sure. But I think sometimes that keeps us from taking responsibility for our part. -Jerry Flowers

It may not make sense right then, but later it’ll make sense. -Jerry Flowers

I see things that God put me through, before we got married, that helped me when I got married. -Dr. Kim

We want to be whole enough where the Lord can pour into us and we can pour back out.- Jerry Flowers

If you want results, you lean into discomfort.- Jerry Flowers

What changed for me is realizing that my mind can lie to me. -Jerry Flowers

A Wider Lens: Questions for Self Reflection

1. Look at your daily life and identify one unhealthy pattern you’ve grown comfortable with.
   
   
2. What one discipline could you start practicing to combat this pattern and prepare for what God has next?
   
   
3. Identify an area of your life you haven’t fully surrendered to the Lord. Choose a Scripture verse to meditate on as you commit to trusting Him completely.
   

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Website: Jerryflowersministries.com ; redefinedtv.net

• Facebook: facebook.com/JerryFlowersMinistries ; facebook.com/@redefinedtv

• Instagram: instagram.com/jerryflowers.jr ; instagram.com/redefinedtv

• YouTube: youtube.com/@Beredefined

• TikTok: tiktok.com/@jerryflowers.jr

• Heart Rehab: Finding the You God Created You to Be

Today we’re diving into Kent’s brand-new book, Don’t Bench Yourself. In it, Kent challenges readers to take an honest look at their lives, at the opportunities they might be missing, the risks they’re avoiding, and the goals left sitting on the table. His message is clear: it’s time to get off the bench and stay in the game. Whether it’s in your career, your marriage, or your parenting journey, you can’t afford to sit on the sidelines. This book will inspire you to move past fear, let go of shame, and trust God’s perfect timing as you keep pressing forward.

Episode Highlights:

What is slow quitting?

Fear paralyzes us from stepping into deeper connections. 

Shame kicks in when we try and fail and then we believe the lie that it’ll never get better than this.

Criticism can inhibit someone’s desire to continue pressing forward.

Motivation can decrease when we don’t see quick results.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

For some of us, what we need to see with our eyes of faith, is a life lived and ended in faith. - Kent Evans

You pull yourself out of the game because you think you no longer qualify to play. - Kent Evans

We get impatient with God so we quit. We draw ourselves out of the game. -Kent Evans

Fear is causing you to be stuck. - Dr. Kim

One of the fastest ways out of a problem is clearly labeling the problem. - Kent Evans

It’s so much easier to point the finger, but yet it doesn’t resolve anything. -Dr. Kim

We have a tendency as guys, when things aren't going well, we have a tendency to withdraw. -Dr. Kim

A big temptation for me is to spend time and energy where there is a really clear report card, a really clear measurable level of success. - Kent Evans

We so desperately want to measure growth and success. However, some of the best things in life can’t be measured. - Kent Evans

We have a tendency to go where we are being affirmed and people think we’re great. - Dr. Kim

A Wider Lens: Questions for Self Reflection

In 12 months how do you want your relationship with your husband or wife to be better?

In 12 months how do you want your relationship with your children to be better?

Name one part of your life where failure kept you from trying again. 

Now that you’ve named it- go try again!

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Find Manhood Journey on Instagram

• Check out his ministry: Manhood Journey

• Listen to his podcast

• Buy Don’t Bench Yourself

• Dr. Kim is on Substack! Sign up HERE.

It's week two of Wider Lens. This week, Jonathon shares his story of recognizing his addiction, confronting the root causes beneath it, and finding freedom through Christ. From misordered priorities to the hidden struggles many Christians face, this conversation explores recovery, sanctification, and the hope that healing is possible. We are praying that this episode encourages you to reflect, reprioritize and hold tightly to the hope of Jesus!

Episode Highlights:

Understanding addiction as a spectrum allows for earlier intervention and support.

Acknowledging one's addiction is the first step towards healing and transformation.

True recovery requires deep honesty and accountability beyond surface-level admissions.

Embracing those with messy sanctification stories fosters healing and growth.

 Identifying and correcting disordered priorities is crucial for recovery.

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

Part of what kept me in a disordered relationship with alcohol is what the devil uses “I don’t look or act like what I think an alcoholic looks like.” - J. Seidl

Radical vulnerability, when you start practicing it, it's contagious and the devil hates it. -J. Seidl

Anything that is misordered is disordered.-J. Seidl

The mommy wine juice culture, mommy needs this to be mommy, right? It's become accepted.-J. Seidl

I finally was able to stop drinking when I stopped trying to stop drinking. When I shot for Jesus, I got sobriety thrown in.-J. Seidl

If you don’t get to the root of those, it’s just going to be something else. -J. Seidl

Jesus is always going to meet us there. He's not going to let us down.- Dr. Kim

I was ultimately addicted to escapism. -J. Seidl

The muscle memory was forged and formed at a very young age. -J. Seidl

A Wider Lens: Questions for Self Reflection

What habits or priorities in my life might be “good things” that I’ve elevated above God, and how are they shaping my heart?

Where might I be numbing pain or avoiding deeper heart work instead of bringing it honestly before the Lord?

What step of accountability, surrender, or fellowship could I take this week to move closer to freedom and wholeness in Christ?

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Find Jonathon on Instagram

• Buy Confessions of a Christian Alcoholic

• Check out his other books.

• Dr. Kim is on Substack. Dr. Kim goes broader than just marriage. You can get wisdom, personal stories, and godly encouragement from him weekly. Sign up today!

The next four Fridays I’m getting the opportunity to go a little broader than the topic of marriage and interview some incredible men who are authors, leaders, and strong men of faith. To kick it off, we are interviewing Mr. Joshua Ryan Butler to discuss his new book. God is on Your Side: How Jesus is for You When Everything Seems Against You. 

In this episode, we explore what it really means to receive from Jesus instead of striving on our own. From the healing at the pool in John 5 to the picture of Barabbas’ pardon, we talk about how the gospel frees us from self-sufficiency, restores us in our failures, and feeds us when we feel empty. Together we wrestle with why we resist His help, how to cultivate spiritual hunger in a distracted world, and what it looks like to let Jesus shepherd us through shame, wounds, and wilderness seasons. It’s my prayer that this episode encourages you to believe God is on your side.

Episode Highlights:

The Lord’s love is a freely given love.

Earthly relationships may feel transactional, but God offers freedom from the burden of that.

Our God is accessible and He wants to redeem the broken parts of our lives. 

Quotes from Today’s Episode:

"God is on your side, particularly when it most feels like life is against you." - Josh Ryan Butler

"Before I called you to use you, I called you to love you." - Josh Ryan Butler

"In the darkest moments, I found God ministering to me through His word and Spirit." - Josh Ryan Butler

"Jesus calls himself the bread of life, and the only requirement to come is that you're hungry and thirsty." - Josh Ryan Butler

"Our deepest hunger is meant to drive us towards God first and foremost." - Josh Ryan Butler

"God's no to our sin is embedded within His bigger yes to who we are created to be." - Josh Ryan Butler

We live in a culture where everybody is rewarded for what they do, and it's hard to believe that God just loves us." - Dr. Kim

"It's almost like it's too good to be true, but it is true." - Dr. Kim

Go Deeper:

1. Are there parts of your life or your heart you feel like you need to keep hidden from the Lord?

2. When’s the last time you felt lonely or alone?

3. Are there places in your life you’re denying restoration because you’re stuck in the cycle of shame?

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Find Joshua Ryan Butler on Instagram.

• Buy his book: God is on Your Side: How Jesus is for You When Everything Seems Against You

• Dr. Kim is on Substack. Dr. Kim goes broader than just marriage. You can get wisdom, personal stories, and godly encouragement from him weekly. Sign up today!

In this special Father’s Day edition of the podcast, I’m joined by my good friend Larry Hagner. While we’re focusing on fatherhood, this episode is packed with wisdom for every married couple. From building a stronger marriage, to deepening your connection with your kids, to taking care of your own well-being—Larry shares wisdom that every family can benefit from.

Episode Highlights:

• Community and support are essential for fathers.

• The relationship between husband and father roles is interconnected.

• Children learn about relationships from their parents' marriage.

• Legacy is built through the relationships we model.

• Seeking help and resources is a sign of strength.

•  Intimacy is rooted in emotional connection.

• Understanding your partner's needs is crucial for intimacy.

• Sex is a celebration of a strong emotional bond.

• Being a spiritual leader starts with self-leadership.

• Proactive planning can enhance relationships.

• Navigating modern parenting requires open communication.

• It's okay not to have all the answers as a parent.

• Learning together with your children strengthens bonds.

Questions for Reflection:

1. Which cultural pressures do we feel most as parents right now, and how can we support each other in responding to them with biblical wisdom?
   
   
2. Are there ways we’ve let parenting take priority over our marriage lately? What small changes could help us reconnect more intentionally as a couple?
   
   
3. How do we currently approach discipline and spiritual formation—are we united in our values, and where might we need better alignment or communication?
   
   
4. What habits could we build into our week to stay emotionally and spiritually connected—not just as parents, but as husband and wife?
5. What specific Scriptures or practices can help you stay rooted as a father (parent)?

Quotes from Today’s Episode: 

• "It's important to show children how to love well."

• "Creating a strong family foundation is essential."

• "I want to feel connected to her. I love her."

• "What we plan for, we can execute."

• "We can't put our head in the sand."

Mentioned in this episode:

• Find Larry’s podcast HERE.

• Connect with Larry on social media.

• This month’s resource is for every couple. Love that Honors: A 13 Day Challenge for Couples. Honor and respect aren’t always our first response or priority. This challenge will help you love your spouse the way the Lord has called you to love your spouse. 

• Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word as you intentionally choose to level up as a dad, or maybe commit to parenting God’s way, find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Try this FREE YouVersion plan: Fighting to be a Man of God

• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! 

• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!

• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. 

In this week’s episode, Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy unpack the powerful topic of expectations—focusing on how to clearly express what you need from your spouse. With honest conversation, a willingness to listen, and an open heart, you can transform how you communicate and connect in your relationship.

Quotes from this episode:

“I just thought you knew. And when you didn’t I would go along and get resentful”

“We were trying to fit each other in the mold.” 

“Our first big argument scared the heck out of me. My unrealistic expectation was that we would never fight.” 

“It’s a good idea to have a signal or cue so that you make your spouse aware.” 

Questions for Reflection:

What are some expectations—spoken or unspoken—that we each bring into our marriage, and how well do we feel they’ve been understood by each other?

When was a time we misunderstood one another because expectations weren’t clearly communicated? What can we learn from that moment?

How can we create more space in our relationship for honest, judgment-free conversations about what we each need or hope for?

What’s one expectation we can both express more clearly this week—and how can we support each other in meeting it with love and grace?

Mentioned in this Episode:

• Find Dr. Kim on Instagram

• This month’s resource is for every couple. Love that Honors: A 13 Day Challenge for Couples. Honor and respect aren’t always our first response or priority. This challenge will help you love your spouse the way the Lord has called you to love your spouse.

• When you’re frustrated, it’s easy to let words fly out of your mouth. Our new FREE resource: 17 Unintentionally Disrespectful Phrases To Cut Out When Speaking To Your Spouse will help couples choose words that bring life instead of cause chaos.

• Awesome Marriage has a great Premarital course to help couples have important conversations before their big day. Communicate expectations effectively and be proactive in learning your future spouse with this great course. Already married? Share this course with a couple who’s looking forward to their big day.

• Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word as you intentionally choose to puruse the marriage God intended, find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Try this FREE YouVersion plan: 14 Keys to Lasting Love

• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! 

• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!

• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. 

In today’s episode, we’re diving into a powerful truth: the health of your marriage often comes down to what you choose to focus on. It’s easy to fixate on what’s not working, letting small annoyances grow into mountains of frustration. But what if the key to deeper connection and lasting joy is found in a simple but radical posture—gratitude?

We’ll explore how contentment isn’t resignation, but an intentional choice to see the blessings amidst the imperfections. You’ll hear honest reflections on prioritizing your spouse, the life-giving role of quality time, and how to navigate conflict in ways that build satisfaction, not resentment. Whether you're newly married or decades in, this conversation is a fresh reminder that gratitude, not settling, is the foundation of a thriving Christian marriage.

Episode highlights:

Feeling content in marriage is different from settling.

There’s a way to work through conflict that makes both spouses feel more satisfied.

Healthy conflict resolution is one of the strongest predictors of marriage satisfaction. 

Silent discontentment leads to resentment that erodes at the foundation of your marriage. 

The key is finding solutions that honor both spouses perspectives.

Questions to reflect:

1. What are three things about our marriage that you’re grateful for right now?
   
   
2. Are there any small annoyances in our relationship that we’ve let build up? How can we address them gently and respectfully?
   
   
3. How can we be more intentional about choosing each other—especially in the areas where our preferences or personalities differ?

Quotes from today’s episode:

“I found myself focusing on the things that weren’t working in my marriage instead of thinking about the things that were.”

“Small annoyances can grow into mountains of frustration”

“Settling comes from a place of resignation”

“Contentment flows from gratitude, an intentional choice we make.”

“Contentment says I see the imperfections in our marriage but I choose to focus on the blessings.”

“Nancy comes before my personal preferences.”

“The key word is choice.”

“Have a posture of gratitude while understanding there is room for growth.”

“Quality time is oxygen for your marriage”

"There’s a way to work through conflict that makes both spouses feel more satisfied."

Mentioned in this episode:

• Use our Marriage Reframing Challenge to change your perspective about your spouse and/or your marriage. 

• Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word as you intentionally choose to pursue the marriage God intended, find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Try this FREE YouVersion plan: 5 Marriage Lies to Defeat with Biblical Truth

• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! 

• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!

• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. 

In today’s episode, we’re diving into a powerful truth: the health of your marriage often comes down to what you choose to focus on. It’s easy to fixate on what’s not working, letting small annoyances grow into mountains of frustration. But what if the key to deeper connection and lasting joy is found in a simple but radical posture—gratitude?

We’ll explore how contentment isn’t resignation, but an intentional choice to see the blessings amidst the imperfections. You’ll hear honest reflections on prioritizing your spouse, the life-giving role of quality time, and how to navigate conflict in ways that build satisfaction, not resentment. Whether you're newly married or decades in, this conversation is a fresh reminder that gratitude, not settling, is the foundation of a thriving Christian marriage.

Episode highlights:

Feeling content in marriage is different from settling.

There’s a way to work through conflict that makes both spouses feel more satisfied.

Healthy conflict resolution is one of the strongest predictors of marriage satisfaction. 

Silent discontentment leads to resentment that erodes at the foundation of your marriage. 

The key is finding solutions that honor both spouses perspectives.

Questions to reflect:

1. What are three things about our marriage that you’re grateful for right now?
   
   
2. Are there any small annoyances in our relationship that we’ve let build up? How can we address them gently and respectfully?
   
   
3. How can we be more intentional about choosing each other—especially in the areas where our preferences or personalities differ?

Quotes from today’s episode:

“I found myself focusing on the things that weren’t working in my marriage instead of thinking about the things that were.”

“Small annoyances can grow into mountains of frustration”

“Settling comes from a place of resignation”

“Contentment flows from gratitude, an intentional choice we make.”

“Contentment says I see the imperfections in our marriage but I choose to focus on the blessings.”

“Nancy comes before my personal preferences.”

“The key word is choice.”

“Have a posture of gratitude while understanding there is room for growth.”

“Quality time is oxygen for your marriage”

"There’s a way to work through conflict that makes both spouses feel more satisfied."

Mentioned in this episode:

• Use our Marriage Reframing Challenge to change your perspective about your spouse and/or your marriage. 

• Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word as you intentionally choose to pursue the marriage God intended, find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Try this FREE YouVersion plan: 5 Marriage Lies to Defeat with Biblical Truth

• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! 

• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!

• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. 

In this deeply honest and hope-filled conversation, Justin and Trisha Davis open up about their journey through love, ministry, and the real struggles that nearly tore their marriage apart—including infidelity and hidden personal battles. With vulnerability and wisdom, they share how counseling, truth-telling, and taking ownership became the turning points in their healing.

Trisha shares what it looked like to face the pain of betrayal trauma, while Justin reflects on the overwhelming guilt and the hard road to forgiveness. Together, they unpack how our stories, the words spoken over us, and the lies we believe about our worth can deeply affect how we show up in relationships.

But this isn’t just a story about pain—it’s a story about redemption. About the power of grace, the courage it takes to grieve and heal, and the choice to believe that real transformation is possible.

More than behavior change, they point to the heart—the deep, inner work that allows us to discover who we really are and who God has created us to be. Their story is a beautiful reminder that no matter how broken things may feel, healing and hope are always within reach.

Episode highlights:

• Rock bottom is still a solid surface to stand when you come alongside Christ.

• Intimacy is to be fully known and know that we're fully loved.

• You never cause someone to have an affair.

• The truth sets you free because it doesn't give any room for the enemy.

• Excavating our past helps us understand our present.

• Redemptive pain can lead to growth.

• Healthy relationships require vulnerability and trust.

• Transformation comes from God's grace and our choices.

Questions for reflection:

1. What small, everyday choices are we making in our marriage that could either be building connection—or slowly creating distance?

2. Are there areas of hiddenness in our relationship—past wounds, unspoken frustrations, or shame—that we need to bring into the light?

3. What does forgiveness look like in our relationship right now?

Quotes from today’s episode:

• "I had to choose to be a truth teller myself."

• "You never cause someone to have an affair."

• "I believed I have to be perfect to be loved."

• "You can't today, but God still has a plan."

• "Healing is hard, but then it's worth it."

• "You are not as stuck as you think you are."

• "You have to stop gaslighting yourself to grieve."

• "The heart of the book is about what God can do."

Mentioned in this episode:

• Beyond Ordinary: When a Good Marriage Just Isn't Good Enough by Justin & Trisha Davis

• RefineUs Ministries Helping people experience transformation by building healthy, authentic relationships.

• Find Justin and Trisha on Instagram

• Use our Marriage Reframing Challenge to change your perspective about your spouse and/or your marriage. 

• Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word as you intentionally choose to pursue the marriage God intended, find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Try this FREE YouVersion plan: 5 Marriage Lies to Defeat with Biblical Truth

• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! 

• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!

• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to . receive our May “7 Most Popular Resource Bundle.”

In this special Mother’s Day episode, Dr. Kim Kimberling sits down with bestselling author Melanie Shankle to talk about her latest book, Here Be Dragons. Together, they unpack the complexities of generational trauma and explore what it means to break old cycles in order to build a new legacy of healthy relationships. It’s a conversation that’s honest, refreshing, and full of humor. Whether you're a mother or not, this episode has something for you!

Episode highlights include: 

• Generational trauma affects emotional growth and relationships.

• Self-worth can be deeply impacted by parental relationships.

• Humor can be a coping mechanism for deeper issues.

• Recognizing unhealthy patterns is crucial for personal growth.

• Parenting requires intentionality and awareness of past traumas.

• Melanie embraced her daughter's individuality instead of molding her.

• Healing can come from being the parent you wished you had.

• True love is built on friendship and authenticity.

• Identifying generational trauma requires honest self-assessment.

• Creating a positive legacy is essential for future generations.

• God's timing is perfect in relationships.

• Healing is a journey that takes baby steps.

• There can be beauty in the ashes of our past.

Couples Conversation Guide: 

Main takeaway: 

If you were raised in the midst of unhealthy relationships, take heart—there is hope in Christ for a better future. Healing from past wounds opens the door to the freedom and joy of healthy, life-giving relationships. Along the journey, boundaries will protect your peace, forgiveness will soften your heart, and Christ must remain the foundation of it all.

Questions to Discuss: 

What messages or behaviors from our families growing up do we find ourselves repeating—intentionally or not—in our relationship or with our children?

When we face conflict or stress, do our reactions feel like our own—or do they echo how our parents or caregivers responded?

Are there parts of our past—such as experiences of neglect, abuse, shame, or loss—that we haven’t fully processed and might be impacting how we show up for each other and our children?

What do you hope your legacy will be?

Quotes from today's episode:

"It's okay to not be perfect."

“You’ve gotta have your truthtellers”

“There are things we may not see as big, but they become big.” 

“I always deflected with humor because I didn’t want to feel anything too deeply.” 

“They’ve achieved all these things that the world says is success, but they’re still empty.” 

“It’s so healing to be the thing in someone else’s life that you wish you would have had in your own.” 

“I didn’t get to have that mother, but I get to be that mother.”

“There is something so beneficial about having someone who’s not your friend, validate some of the experiences you’ve been through.” 

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:  

• Use our Self Check Up Guide as an opportunity for honest self reflection. 

• Melanie Shankle’s Here Be Dragons

• Listen to Melanie on her wildly popular podcast The Big Boo Cast

• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! 

• Did you know we have resources for families- check those out HERE.

• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!

We're excited to launch a brand-new format for the Awesome Marriage Podcast—and with it, introduce a highly requested new co-host: Mrs. Nancy Kimberling! In this episode, Dr. Kim and Nancy Kimberling take you on a heartfelt journey through the story of their relationship, from their blind date to their early years of marriage and parenting, all the way to the joy of becoming great-grandparents.

Their marriage hasn’t been without its challenges, but what’s carried them through it all is a decision they made early on: to keep God at the center of everything. Their wisdom, authenticity, and love for each other will make them one of your favorite couples to learn from.

We pray this episode encourages and blesses your marriage.

Episode Takeaways:

No matter how your marriage starts, everything changes when you invite the Lord in. He can transform the direction of your relationship in powerful ways. Building a strong, healthy marriage and family takes intentional effort and regular reflection on what’s working—and what’s not. Join the Kimberlings for an honest, up-close look at every season of marriage.

Questions to Discuss: 

When’s the last time you reflected on where and when your relationship began?

What scripture could you hold on to to help anchor your marriage to Christ? 

What is keeping your marriage from moving in the direction you want it to move?

Quotes:

“We had fights and I thought what is going on, I made a mistake.”

“You didn’t get the picket fence”

“I could have been the fun dad and still done discipline”

“God taught us He cares about everything”

“The more we brought Him into our conversations, our decisions. He was there. To guide us and to help us. 

“It’s saved our marriage.” 

“God was there when they got married, and He’s still there, and they made a covenant before Him and it matters.” 

“We took divorce off the table and we kept it off the table.”

“The most important thing to do in marriage is prayer.”

“It’s so important to have godly couples who are older than you and come alongside of you with godly wisdom.”

“It’s so important to have a village, a tribe, a life group to do life with.”

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:  

• Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word as you intentionally choose to puruse the marriage God intended, find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Try this FREE YouVersion plan: 5 Marriage Lies to Defeat with Biblical Truth

• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! 

• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!

• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to . receive our May “7 Most Popular Resource Bundle.”

In this heartfelt and honest conversation, Dr. Kim sits down with Jimmy Rollins to unpack the real-life highs and lows of marriage. They dive into why communication, forgiveness, and a strong support system are so crucial—and how those things have played out in their own lives. From the power of simple daily appreciations to creating a safe space for open conversations, Jimmy and Dr. Kim get real about what it takes to build (and rebuild) a strong relationship. They also reflect on how easy it is to chase success in the wrong places—and how to shift the focus back to what matters most. Whether you're in a great season or struggling to find your footing, this episode is full of practical wisdom and encouragement to help you grow and heal in your marriage.

Episode Takeaways:

• Every marriage is hard and requires effort.

• Forgiveness is a decision, while reconciliation is a process.

• Daily appreciation can reignite connection in marriage.

• Creating a safe space is essential for open communication.

• Winning at the wrong things can harm your marriage.

• Community support is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships.

• It's important to examine your own behavior in marriage.

• Practical steps can lead to significant changes in relationships.

• Couples should seek resources and mentorship for guidance.

• The goal in marriage is to think together, not alike.

Questions to Discuss: 

• Are there areas of your marriage you are trying to ignore?

• Are there areas you are trying to change your spouse?

• How would you rate the community you have to support your marriage?

• What one thing can you say “no” to today, so that you have more margin to say “yes”  in your marriage. 

Quotes:

"Forgiveness is a decision."

"Community is what keeps us sober."

"You're not in it by yourself."

"Every marriage is hard."

"The goal is not to think alike."

"The best days are ahead of us."

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:  

• Use our FREE Weekly Marriage Check Up Guide to keep intentionally winning in your marriage!

• Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word as you prioritize your marriage. Try this Awesome Marriage YouVersion reading plan: Traffic Signs and Your Marriage: Part 1

• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! 

• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!

• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our May “7 Most Popular Resource Bundle.”

Main takeaway: 

Every relationship can be prone to drifting if we aren’t paying attention, and our marriage relationship is no exception. In this episode Dr. Kim and Lindsay talk about how easy it is to begin prioritizing good things over the best things, and how those small compromises lead to big disconnect in marriage.  This episode will help you recognize the signs of drift and begin to fight back against it!

• Recognizing the signs of drifting is crucial for couples.

• Prioritizing time together is essential to prevent drifting.

• Good things can distract from nurturing the marriage.

• Drifting can happen gradually without realization.

• Communication and emotional intimacy are key to a strong marriage.

• Common signs of drifting include changes in communication and intimacy.

• Non-sexual physical touch can enhance emotional intimacy.

• It's important to address issues early before they become entrenched patterns.
  

Questions to Discuss: 

Is your marriage reflected on your calendar?

When’s the last time you encouraged your spouse with your words?

Do you feel pressure to say yes to things outside of your marriage that in turn forces you to say no to things that would grow your marriage?

Are you protecting your energy so that you make the most of the time with your spouse?

What’s one thing you can do today to show your spouse you’re pursuing your marriage?

Quotes:

“You drift without even realizing it.”

“Sometimes good things get in the way of the most important things”

“If you’re drifting away you’re more vulnerable to sin.”

“You have to choose the best over the good.”

“There are things I could have done different.”

“In our culture, life gets in the way and we don’t even think about it.”

“I’ve always got to know that Nancy is a gift, and I have to embrace that gift, and treat her like a gift every day.”

“Drifting happens gradually.”

“Show me where you have your marriage on your calendar.”

“It’s on my calendar now.”

“It’s not going great, but everyone’s just accepting it.”

“You can do something!”

“Make sure you go to somebody who can be objective and is for your marriage.”

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:  

• Use our FREE Weekly Marriage Check Up Guide to help keep the connection and fight the drift!

• Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word as you fight the drift in marriage? Try this Awesome Marriage YouVersion reading plan: Pursuing Your Spouse in Marriage Pt 1

• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! 

• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!

• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our May “7 Most Popular Resource Bundle.”

In this episode of the Awesome Marriage podcast, Lindsay and Dr. Kim discuss the importance of resolving conflict in a faith-centered, biblical way. They debunk the myth that Christian couples do not experience conflict and emphasize that conflict can lead to growth and deeper intimacy in relationships. Learn the biblical principles for handling conflict, practical steps for effective communication, and the significance of humility and selflessness in marriage.

Episode highlights include:

• Timeouts can help manage heated discussions.

• Keeping short accounts prevents resentment from building up.

• Using the silent treatment is a form of emotional manipulation.

• Bringing up past conflicts as weapons is unhealthy for marriage.

• Involving others in conflicts before addressing them with your spouse can create triangles of conflict.

• Taking responsibility for one's actions is crucial in resolving conflicts.

• Prayer is a powerful tool for maintaining a healthy marriage.

• Biblical principles provide a framework for resolving conflicts effectively.
  

Couples Conversation Guide: 

Main takeaway: 

You will experience conflict with your spouse, and when you do it’s important to keep the Lord at the center of the conversation. Remember your spouse is not your enemy and words shouldn’t be your weapon. Acknowledge your part and be quick to forgive. 

Questions to Discuss: 

• Which area of conflict resolution do you need the most help in- bringing up the past, resorting to the silent treatment, or taking responsibility for your part?

• Have you brought that struggle to the Lord and invited Him into the conflict in your marriage? 

QUOTES 

• Conflict is normal and if done right can help our marriage grow.

• Even though we are both seeking to follow Christ, we are human.

• If your kids see you doing that, they want that, and it gives them security.

• Having a marriage that’s not life-giving, can drain you so quick. It zaps your energy.

• When a couple is able to get past the things keeping them at odds, it goes beyond the marriage too.

• I can’t meet all her needs, but God can.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:  

• Use our Marriage Boundaries Workbook to navigate tough conversations and hard seasons. 

• Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word as you navigate conflict? Try this Awesome Marriage YouVersion reading plan: Fighting for Your Marriage

• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! 

• Did you know we have resources just for handling conflict in your marriage?- check those out HERE.

• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!

• Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our May “7 Most Popular Resource Bundle.”

In this conversation, Lindsay and Dr. Kim discuss the concept of cultivating a servant-hearted marriage, emphasizing the importance of serving one another selflessly. They explore how serving each other can create a loving and respectful environment, reflecting God's design for marriage. The discussion includes practical ways to serve, the impact of a servant-hearted marriage on family dynamics, and the barriers that can hinder this service. They also highlight the significance of self-examination and seeking help when facing challenges in marriage. 

Episode highlights include:

• Cultivating a servant-hearted marriage requires daily choices to act in love.

• Children benefit from witnessing a servant-hearted marriage.

• A servant-hearted marriage reflects God's design and glorifies Him.

• Serving one another should come from the heart, not a checklist. Counseling can help break negative patterns in marriage.

Couples Conversation Guide: 

Main takeaway: 

God’s design for marriage goes far beyond just coexisting with your spouse. Serving one another, respecting their wants and needs, and creating a loving relationship reflect the heart of the Lord and His design for the marriage relationship. 

Questions to Discuss: 

What stands in the way of you selflessly serving your spouse?

Has your relationship with your spouse become transactional?

QUOTES 

• "Serving is saying, sure, I can do that."

• "Don't stay stuck there."

• "You don't just grow better."

• "God sees you."

• "It's gonna make a difference."

• “If your kids see you doing that, they want that, and it gives them security.”

• “Having a marriage that’s not life-giving, can drain you so quick. It zaps your energy.”

• “When a couple is able to get past the things keeping them at odds, it goes beyond the marriage too.”

• “I can’t meet all her needs, but God can.”

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:  

• Use our Marriage Boundaries Workbook to navigate tough conversations and hard seasons. 

• Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word as you navigate boundaries? Try this Awesome Marriage YouVersion reading plan: Boundaries in Marriage

• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! 

• Did you know we have resources for families- check those out HERE.

Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!

Dr. Kim and Lindsay dive into a heartfelt conversation about the power of communication and unity in parenting. They talk about why it’s so important for parents to be on the same page when it comes to raising their kids, facing challenges as a team, and setting a strong example through their own decision-making. Along the way, they explore how to navigate differences in parenting styles, adapt to the ever-changing needs of children as they grow, and lean on prayer for guidance in tough decisions.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage. 

Episode highlights include: 

• It's unrealistic to agree on everything in parenting.

• Children benefit from the security of united parents.

• It's important to filter parenting advice based on core beliefs.

• When you disagree, and you will, model respect for your spouse.

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here! 

Couples Conversation Guide: 

Main takeaway: 

Do you and your spouse struggle to stay on the same page while parenting your children? Are you handling disagreements in a way that adds to the chaos? In this episode, Dr. Kim and Lindsay discuss how to navigate the hard conversations, the power of differing perspectives, and the benefit of a strong relationship as an example to your children. 

Questions to Discuss: 

Are you and your spouse allowing parenting to divide or unite?

In what ways can you better support your spouse in parenting?

Have you and your spouse set aside time to discuss the goals you have for your children? 

Quotes From this Episode:

“There's no shortcut to communication."

"Agreeing on core values is essential."

"Set aside time to discuss your challenges."

"Kids need security and stability."

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:  

• Use our Marriage Boundaries Workbook to navigate tough conversations and hard seasons. 

• Don’t let porn teach your children about sex. Get equipped to have “The Sex Talk”

• If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com ! 

• Did you know we have resources for families- check those out HERE.

• Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!

Dr. Kim and Camden Morgante explore how purity culture has shaped individuals' beliefs and relationships. They break down five harmful myths it promotes and examine how these misconceptions can impact a couple's sex life after marriage — including the unrealistic expectation of a fairy tale marriage as a reward for remaining pure. Dr. Morgante offers guidance to help couples move beyond the shame and guilt tied to these teachings, so they can embrace the beautiful gift God designed for marriage.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage. 

Episode highlights:

Our God isn’t a transactional god.

Purity culture has been compared to the sexual prosperity gospel. Many individuals only hear negative messages about sex before marriage.

Reclaiming the beauty of sex involves holistic healing of mind, body, heart, and soul.

Teaching children about sexuality should focus on values rather than rules.

Purity culture can lead to feelings of being 'damaged goods'.

Myths of purity culture can cause disillusionment in faith.

Couples Conversation Guide: 

Main takeaway: 

Our motivation for purity before marriage can serve as a stumbling block to intimacy within our marriage. Purity before and within marriage is important, but our relationship with God isn’t transactional. We are missing the point of God’s heart for sex when the focus is on a reward. 

Questions to Discuss: 

How was the conversation surrounding sex approached in your youth?

Looking back, did you desire to stay pure before marriage and what was your motivation for purity?

Did you believe one of the “5 lies” Dr. Morgante mentioned in this episode?

What do you think Dr. Morgante means when she says that the lies of purity culture don’t just live in our minds, they live in our bodies? 

QUOTES:

• These myths didn’t just live in our minds, they lived in our bodies. -Dr. Camden Morgante

• When you try to control people, it’s really easy for shame and fear to become part of it.

• The end result may be good, but the way you get there can harm people.

• Shame and guilt is not from God.

• God wants us to experience healing.

• We have to have a deeper why for it.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

• Dr. Camden Morgante’s Recovering from Purity Culture.  

• You can connect with Dr. Camden Morgante on Instagram

• Unlock True Intimacy: Become a couple who prays together. 

• We have several other AWESOME Resources on our website. Check those out HERE.  

• Check out our Bible Reading plans on YouVersion and make sure you’re following us there to keep current on all our newest plans! 

Porn is doing real damage to too many Christians today. This issue is affecting a huge percentage of our brothers and sisters in Christ, and the shame that often prevents us from talking about it leads to secrecy and hinders healing. 

We’re thankful that Nick Stumbo is on the podcast today. Nick is a pastor and the director of Pure Desire Ministries. Along with Barna, Pure Desire recently conducted a study on the impact porn is currently having on the Church in America. Their findings demonstrate how crucial it is to open the conversation about porn among Christians to help them find healing from its destructive impact.  

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage. 

Episode highlights include: 

• What the stats tell us about how many Christians are viewing porn regularly

• Why talking openly is ESSENTIAL for healing 

• Exposing the progressive nature of porn addiction 

• How to make church a place where openness is possible 

• What to do if your church is not a safe place to confess 

• How to prepare your kids to handle porn exposure safely 
  

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here! 

Couples Conversation Guide: 

Main takeaway: The enemy would love for you to stay stuck in secrecy and shame. Jesus wants to bring freedom and healing. Take a step toward freedom today. 

Questions to Discuss: 

1. Do you have a safe friend you can be honest with? Are you practicing confession and accountability in your life? What can you do to help cultivate an honest, godly friendship today? 

2. What is God prompting you need to take responsibility for so that you can grow closer to Him and your spouse today? 

QUOTES 

• “Most people won’t be surprised to know that the numbers are continuing to grow.” - Nick Stumbo 

• “To my knowledge, it’s the first time in history that the majority of practicing Christians say they are doing pornography.” - Nick Stumbo 

• “84% of people said there is NO ONE helping them avoid pornography.” - Nick Stumbo 

• “If shame and secrecy are the sickness, then openness, community and love are what healing is all about.” - Nick Stumbo 

• “By the time it blows up a marriage, the help was needed 5-10 years ago.” - Nick Stumbo

• “You’re not alone. There is help and hope for you. - Dr. Kim Kimberling 

• “True accountability is about me learning to be responsible for my own actions and behaviors.” - Nick Stumbo 
  

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:  

• Pure Desire offers healing groups and great resources to help you find freedom from porn. Check them out here. 

• Get the stats: Read the research by Barna and Pure Desire HERE 

• If porn has impacted your marriage, take Dr. Kim’s 5 Steps to Healing After Porn Betrayal webinar to kickstart your marriage healing.

• We recommend the book Good Pictures / Bad Pictures to help equip your kids against porn exposure.

Husbands, have you ever felt like your wife expects too much from you? Wives, have you checked whether your expectations are realistic? 

Expectations in marriage can be a difficult topic, and they’re a very common source of marriage tension. Which is why today, we want to help break down misunderstandings around spouse expectations today, so that you can experience better connection and more joy in your marriage.  

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage. 

Episode highlights include: 

• Wives may struggle to articulate their needs clearly.

• Non-sexual affection enhances sexual intimacy.

• Emotional connection is crucial for a healthy marriage.

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here! 

Couples Conversation Guide: 

Main takeaway: Expectations don't have to be a source of conflict. There's a way to communicate and connect the different wants and needs you have in marriage.

Questions to Discuss: 

• Are there any expectations that you feel are “too much”?

• Husbands, do you need more clarity from your wife about her expectations?

• How would you rate how well you actively listen and engage with your spouse?

• What would make you a more intentional listener? (time of day, location of conversation, free of distractions, etc.)

• When was the last time you checked in with your spouse about the overall health of your marriage relationship.

• What are the priorities in your marriage? Do you know your spouse’s priorities? How do they compare?
  

QUOTES 

•  Wives want to be part of the decision making and feel like it’s a true partnership.

• The better the non sexual connection and intimacy is, the better the physical connection and intimacy will be. 

• Most men weren’t raised to be emotionally expressive.

• You don’t have to solve everything. 

• When I stopped trying to fix it, I heard her better.

• A wife wants to feel prioritized.

• Learning to say things in a way your spouse can hear takes practice.

• You have to accept that God made us different as husband and wife.

• The small consistent things you do matter more than perfection.

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:  

• Unlock True Intimacy: Become a couple who prays together. 

• Weekly Check in Guide

• We have several other AWESOME Resources on our website. Check those out HERE.  

• Check out our Bible Reading plans on YouVersion and make sure you’re following us there to keep current on all our newest plans! 

 Are you experiencing the power of prayer in your marriage? Prayer is an incredibly powerful habit for your marriages. In fact, research shows that 99% of couples who pray together stay together.  

Prayer can be so simple, but the reality is that most couples do not make prayer a regular part of their marriage. Today we’re talking about how to practically overcome the obstacles that keep you from praying together so you can make prayer a regular part of your marriage. 

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage. 

 Episode highlights include: 

• The #1 marriage-building habit - and why most couples don’t do it

• What makes prayer so powerful for marriage 

• The sneaky prayer pitfalls to avoid 

• How to overcome the common obstacles that keep couples from praying together 

• The do-able DOs to make prayer part of your marriage 

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here! 

Couples Conversation Guide: 

Main takeaway: Prayer is so powerful that the enemy will try anything to keep you from making it part of your marriage. Don’t let that happen. 

Questions to Discuss: 

1. What’s the primary obstacle that prevents you from praying regularly with your spouse? 

2. What would help the two of you to make prayer a regular part of your day together? 

QUOTES 

• “When you’re praying together, you’re putting God first. That’s where he wants to be.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling 

• “It’s probably one of the main things that the enemy doesn’t want couples to do.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling 

• “When I can get a couple to pray together, the counseling process goes faster, and the marriage gets better.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling 

• “Don’t force praying together in a certain way.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling 
  

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:  

• We have several other AWESOME Prayer Resources on our website. Check those out HERE. 
• Check out our Bible Reading plans on YouVersion and make sure you’re following us there to keep current on all our newest plans!

When Chad & Adaeze Brinkman met while serving together on the worship team at church, they didn’t expect that they would one day get married. They also didn’t expect what it would be like to navigate a new marriage while facing cultural pressures as an interracial couple. But learning to have the hard conversations about their differences ultimately led to deeper intimacy.

Today, we’re delighted to have Chad and Adaeze on the podcast to share their story, and equip you with practical ways to value different perspectives as a reflection of God’s design.

We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage. 

Episode highlights include: 

• Why listening to real stories of different experiences matters 

• How to become aware of your habitual assumptions 

• Realistic first steps to grow your perspective

• Why addressing our perspective on race is essential for the church 

• The relationship-building process of navigating tough conversations 

• How to repair the relationship after you’ve hurt your spouse 

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here! 

Couples Conversation Guide: 

Main takeaway: Not every couple is in an interracial marriage, but every couple deals with differences. We get a bigger picture of God’s design when we stop fighting our differences and learn to value them. 

Questions to Discuss: 

1. What have you learned by listening to the diverse perspectives of others in your life? 

2. Are there places in your life where you encounter differing life stories and experiences among fellow Christian believers? 

3. How can you make room in your life for diversity that reflects the vision of God’s kingdom? 

QUOTES 

• “We will never know everything there is to know about the Lord, but the beauty is in the pursuit, the relationship and the discovery.” - Adaeze Brinkman

• “It’s a very humbling lesson to let your spouse have their own perspective, and give room for that to be different than yours.” - Adaeze Brinkman

• “Everyone does what they do for a reason. They think what they think for a reason.” - Chad Brinkman

• When we dig in we realize how much we have in common.” - Chad Brinkman

• “When Jesus returns, it’s not going to be a ‘White Heaven’ or a ‘Black Heaven.’ It’s a diverse Heaven.” - Chad Brinkman

• “Listening is the most important thing.”  - Dr. Kim Kimberling 

• “Are you growing? A beautiful way to do that is to rub shoulders with people that are different from you.”  - Adaeze Brinkman

• “The enemy knows there’s so much power in unity and diversity.”   - Adaeze Brinkman

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:  

• We loved Chad and Adaeze’s book, White Boy / Black Girl: What Our Differences Can Teach Us. Grab a copy to read their story!

• It’s Spice things up in the bedroom with our limited-time ‘Break the Bedroom Rut’ Sexy BUNDLE!

• Don’t let negative assumptions tear you apart. Use our Free Printable 15 Better Assumptions to Make About Your Spouse to nurture a healthy mindset 

• Get Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!