Do you fight fair, or do you wish there was a referee to call a stop to the foul play when you argue with your spouse? Ground rules are an important step toward having healthy marriage conflict, so today Dr. Kim will spell out how to make sure you’re fighting fair in your marriage. We want to empower you to fight fair, and resolve issues in a kind and loving way.
If you need help to fight fair and truly resolve issues without making things worse, you will love today’s conversation.
We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.
Episode highlights include:
The DOs and DON’Ts of fighting fair
The side effects of unhealthy conflict
A healthy way to “let it all out”
Can honesty go too far? How do you know?
Tips to the reconnection process - how to make up well
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
QUOTES
“We both learned we needed to reconnect and apologize, but sometimes we werent’ ready to take that step at the same time. We had to learn that somebody needs to take the step. It doesn’t really matter who started the fight or who was wrong.”
“Taking responsibility is huge. Owning your part in it, even if you think you only did 10%, you still did 10%.”
“What are you sorry for? Be very specific in what you did and why you're taking responsibility.”
“I say it a lot: One of the best gifts you can give your marriage is to learn how to resolve conflict.”
Forgiveness and apologies need to have no strings attached. It’s just that I choose to do this.
We’re not just trying to clear a slate so our spouse stops bugging us. Have you repented before the Lord? That’s where this starts.
We are accountable to Him before being accountable to our spouse. Did I just treat my spouse in the way He would have me treat them? If not, I need to take that up with Him
QUESTIONS FOR YOU
When you really think about it, how did it affect your spouse when you had this conflict?
Repentance. Learning from the mistakes made and committing to work on them together.
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Learn more about how to make your marriage conflict healthy by joining Dr. Kim for the 8 Guidelines for Fighting Fair Webinar
Our Conflict Resolution Cheat Sheet is your quick guide to get marriage conflict on the right track.
If you’re ready to learn how to do conflict well, the Conflict Resolution Guide helps you diagnose the problem areas in your marriage, then learn the steps to resolve them.
TODAY is the last day for our 7 Most Popular Resource Bundle! Don’t miss the chance to get 7 of our most-loved resources for 1 donation of ANY amount in support of the ministry of Awesome Marriage! Get all the details here!
Sick of the same old fights over and over with your spouse? Learn to de-escalate marriage fights and resolve issues in a healthy and helpful way. Conflict in marriage is inevitable, but the way you handle it is what matters most. Learning to deal with it well will benefit your marriage in so many ways! Tune in today to learn how.
We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.
Episode highlights include:
Common conflict pitfalls to avoid
The problem with “winning” marriage fights
Tips to help you break the fighting cycle
What to do if one spouse is not ready to reconnect
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:
Are you stuck in a conflict cycle? If so, work together to identify what’s triggering it.
Choose 1 tip from Dr. Kim’s list below that you will both agree to use this week.
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
QUOTES
“When we try our best to avoid conflict, we’re not really equipping ourselves with the skills to handle it well.” - Lindsay Few
“Awareness gives you some insight that can really be useful.” Dr. Kim Kimberling
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Learn more about how to make your marriage conflict healthy by joining Dr. Kim for the 8 Guidelines for Fighting Fair Webinar
Our Conflict Resolution Cheat Sheet is your quick guide to get marriage conflict on the right track.
If you’re ready to learn how to do conflict well, the Conflict Resolution Guide helps you diagnose the problem areas in your marriage, then learn the steps to resolve them.
It’s here! Our 7 Most Popular Resource Bundle is LIVE! That means you can get 7 of our most-loved marriage building resources by making 1 donation of ANY amount to support the ministry of Awesome Marriage! The bundle is available for a limited time only. Get all the details here!
Several types of boundaries can help your marriage be healthy, and today we’re talking about boundaries outside of marriage. That means with family, friends, and the opposite sex. We could probably devote an entire episode to each of these categories! We definitely can’t cover every possibility, but we can get the conversation started.
Episode highlights include:
Boundaries with your in laws & adult married children
Guidance on setting boundaries with your kids at any age
Basic boundaries for co-parenting with an ex
Dr. Kim’s recommendations for affair prevention boundaries
We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
RESOURCES
Learn all about how to set healthy boundaries for your marriage with our Building Better Boundaries For Your Marriage online course. Dr. Kim covers why and how and gives practical tips and examples to help you put them in place.
Get 25 of Dr Kim’s best conflict resolution tips in our Conflict Resolution Cheat Sheet!
Our new Boundaries Guide helps you decide where and how to start applying this content to your marriage.
Our friends Dan & Kay at Centsei can help you set a budget and stick with good financial boundaries.
We talk to a lot of couples who don't know what makes them a great team, so we created Team You & Me: A Guide to Approaching Your Marriage as a Team, to help you be more intentional to tap into all God has for you in the gift of your marriage.
Research shows that 69% of marital conflict is never resolved. We either sweep it under the rug, avoid the pain points, or get stuck in a cycle of conflict that may cause pain but not find resolution. Today Dr. Kim talks with special guest Anne Nelson, about the 4-stage process to break the fight cycle and heal your marriage from conflict. Anne is a Christian counselor who helps couples and individuals to find the fully thriving life God has for them.
Episode highlights include:
We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
Resources:
Apologies are necessary. We are all human and sinful, so we should all be apologizing regularly. But there are definitely right and wrong ways to do this, and most of us can certainly grow in doing apologies well. We’re on our Awesome Marriage Podcast summer break, and during these weeks off, we are re-sharing some of our favorite past episodes. These are episodes that you might have missed the first time, or that just deserve a re-listen! Today we’re re-airing this episode where Dr. Kim and Christina explain why good apologies matter, and help us learn to do this well.
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*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here! RESOURCES
“Team language” is a great counselor term that I’ve heard Dr. Kim use a lot, and I wanted to learn more about what that looks like – and doesn’t look like – in marriage. Join us today as we unpack practical ways to shift to a team mindset and use team language.
We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.
P.S. Did the “good guy” idea Dr. Kim mentions later in the episode step on your toes like it did mine?! Let me know if that’s something you want to hear more about!
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*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
RESOURCES
Do you feel beaten down by your spouse? Does it feel like nothing you do is ever right or good enough for your spouse? Well you certainly aren’t alone. It can really wear on a marriage when one spouse is overly critical. In this episode Dr. Kim & Christina share about what to do when your spouse is critical.
We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.
Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode and get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox!
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
NOTEWORTHY QUOTES
SPONSORS
RESOURCES
This is an Ask Dr. Kim segment on the Awesome Marriage Podcast. People submit their questions about love, relationships, and marriage to Dr. Kim and he answers them.
In this episode Dr. Kim answers the question: How can we stop fighting about money?
Tune in to find out!
This is a podcast that aired last year that we wanted to highlight again because of the great response we received the first time it aired. In this podcast Dr. Kim, Nils, and Christina talk about how to turn your fighting in marriage around. They share real and practical ways to stop fighting your spouse and start fighting for your marriage.
Tune in to learn how to stop fighting with your spouse!
This week on the Awesome Marriage Podcast we welcome back Deb & Ron DeArmond on the podcast. Deb is an author, a speaker, and relationship coach—helping others improve their interactions at work and at home. Deb runs her ministry at Deb DeArmond/Family Matters. Ron has co authored several books with Deb. The DeArmond’s are marriage experts and high school sweethearts.
Deb & Ron join Dr. Kim as they talk about how to not let anger fester. Anger when left to fester can destroy a marriage, Deb & Ron share advice on how to deal with anger in marriage in a healthy way. They share stories from their own marriages and practical advice on how to move past anger in marriage.
Tune in below to learn more about how not let anger corrupt your marriage!
RESOURCES
You can purchase Deb’s new book: Don’t Go To Bed Angry here. Another great resource from Deb is her book I Choose You Today which you can purchase here. You can read more great insights from Deb on her website. You can also follow her on Twitter and Facebook.