In this episode Dr. Kim has 2 longtime friends of his here to share their story. This couple experienced the devastation of an affair with what looked like no hope for reconciliation - but God. God did something great and redeemed their story. 

We can’t wait for you to be encouraged and challenged by this couple’s story. Tune in to hear more! 

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*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here! 

NOTEWORTHY QUOTES

• “No one sets out to destroy their marriage.” - Arly
• “The affair was my solution to a deeper problem: my low self esteem and wrestling with who I was.” - Arly
• “I knew he was struggling with something, I just couldn’t get him to open up about what he was struggling with.” - Amber
• “When I found out about his affairs I felt like I was married to a complete stranger, like a didn’t know what reality was.” - Amber
• “I wanted to demonstrate to my kids that it’s ok to to put up boundaries with people you love who aren’t safe.” - Amber
• “I always said, ‘If Arly had an affair I would kick his butt to the curb and move on’ but when you actually find yourself in that situation and you have three kids and this history, it’s not an easy decision to make. I never judge anyone who is reacting from an affair.” - Amber
• “Setting those boundaries can be extremely scary but God will give you the strength and will remind you that you will be ok.” - Dr. Kim
• “The boundaries that Amber set helped me as the unfaithful spouse to wake up and realize how important my family was to me.” - Arly
• “We would not be together today had he not experienced healing and transformation on his own.” - Amber
• “It takes time to restore trust after an affair.” - Dr. Kim
• “Learning to trust him after the affairs was a process.” - Amber
• “He doesn’t put me in the position anymore of wondering where he is. He lets me know where he is and what is going on so I am not triggered and don’t have to wonder.” - Amber
• “An unfaithful spouse at some point has to believe that their betrayed spouse can handle the truth.” - Arly
• “It’s so powerful in our marriage when we realize that God made us different from each other for a reason.” - Dr. Kim
• “We didn’t want to keep things a secret from our kids. They knew the truth at a level that was appropriate for their age.” - Amber
• “I think the worst thing we could have done to our kids was to act like nothing was happening; they could feel the tension. Kids are incredibly resilient and this was an opportunity to show them how to suffer well.” - Amber
• “He had to rebuild his relationship with not only me but our kids as well.” - Amber
• “Setting boundaries is the only way to pull someone who is being unfaithful out of their fantasy world.” - Arly
• “The God who was healing my heart after this betrayal looked different than the God who I grew up with.” - Amber
• “Our marriage did not come back together until after we both took care of ourselves individually.” - Amber
• “Her healing process looked totally different from mine.” - Arly
• “There is something very powerful in marriage intensive weekends and times away because you can focus on something specific on your marriage together.” - Dr. Kim
• “We have learned to just enjoy each other’s presence and to live in the moment.” - Arly
• “Being intimate after an affair has taken place is awkward and complicated. You have to be patient and you have to stay at the comfort level of the spouse who was betrayed.” - Amber
• “There can be great healing and transformation in this process but you have to go through the dark parts to get to the light.” - Arly
• “I want couples to know just how good life can be on the other side.” - Amber

SPONSORS

• Thank you to Honoring Intimates for sponsoring this podcast episode! Honoring Intimates is a safe place for believers to learn about marital sex and shop for the highest quality lubricant, lotions, and lingerie items at reasonable prices. There are no inappropriate images on the site and the company uses mannequins to display their lingerie. Use the code “AWESOMEMARRIAGE” to receive 20% off your entire order. 

RESOURCES

• Affair Recovery (https://www.affairrecovery.com/), Arly attended Basecamp, a retreat affiliated with True North Ministries in Oklahoma: https://truenorth.live/basecamp/, Amber attended a retreat run by Changed Women’s Ministries, also in Oklahoma: https://www.changedokc.com/, together they attended a couple’s retreat run by Affair Recovery called Hope Rising: https://www.affairrecovery.com/hope-rising
• Want to talk about sex?! Take our Love Making Survey to open up the way for you and your spouse to work towards better sex and intimacy in marriage! This month’s resource is our Love Making Survey and it is designed to help you have a safe, genuine conversation about your sex life with your spouse. This survey is a nonthreatening way to evaluate your sex together. The questions are designed to get you thinking about all aspects of your love making and to shed light on ways your sex could be more satisfying.
• Become a Marriage Changer and receive some sweet exclusive benefits. Learn more here!
• Sign up to get Dr. Kim’s One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day via email, text, or podcast here! 

When it comes to an emotional affair, do you know the warning signs? This month at Awesome Marriage we are talking about emotional infidelity and trust issues.

Today Dr. Kim & Christina talk specifically about emotional infidelity and the warning signs of it. Emotional affairs are everywhere and they are, unfortunately, very easy to slip into. So we have to be careful to guard our marriage from any kind of affair, including one that never gets physical. The reality is, we are ALL at risk of having an emotional affair and we should all be putting up safeguards to protect our marriage from the damage of an emotional affair.

RESOURCES

List of Warning Signs You Might Be Having An Emotional Affair:

• If you daydream about someone of the opposite sex
• If you compare someone of the opposite sex to your spouse often
• If you have ever thought of someone of the opposite sex sexually and if you begin to think of them in this way regularly
• If you are saving topics of conversation for somebody other than your spouse because, in your mind, they understand you better
• If you are sharing intimate details about your marriage with someone of the opposite sex
• If you look forward to seeing the other person more than your spouse
• You’re doing things or saying things with this other person that you wouldn’t want your spouse to see
• You’re keeping things from your spouse
• You dress to impress this other person
• You look for opportunities to get away from your spouse and spend time with this other person
• You delete messages from this other person so your spouse won’t see
• Not being content and accepting of your spouse
• You take selfies of yourself and send it this other person
• You post pictures of yourself online because you know this other person will see them and like them

SPONSORS

• Thank you to SYMBIS for sponsoring this podcast episode! SYMBIS stands for Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts, the title of my good friends Drs. Les & Leslie Parrott’s book, and is used by more than a million couples. And the SYMBIS Assessment is like nothing you’ve seen before. Dr. Kim uses it with every premarital couple that he counsels. So if you are a pastor, counselor, coach, or even marriage mentors, you won’t want to miss out on this incredible tool. Go to SYMBIS.com to learn more. You’ll be glad you did!

NOTEWORTHY QUOTES FROM THE EPISODE:

“If you are going outside your marriage to get something that God designed for you to have inside marriage then that’s an emotional affair and it is a sin.” - Dr. Kim

“When I am struggling with something I lean into God. He knows me better than anyone else.” - Dr. Kim

“When you do things God’s way it works, when you do it the world’s way it doesn’t.” - Dr. Kim

“If you have any of these warning signs with someone the opposite sex then you might have to unfriend them in every single way to protect your marriage from an emotional and/or physical affair.” - Dr. Kim

Is your marriage at risk to an emotional affair online? This month at Awesome Marriage we are talking about guarding your marriage online. Because technology and the internet are so infused in our daily lives, we have to put smart boundaries in place to guard our marriages from the temptations it poses. One of the biggest temptations being: starting up an emotional affair. Today on the podcast Dr. Kim and Christina discuss protecting your marriage from emotional affairs online.

Tune in to learn more about how to protect your marriage from this!  

This week on the Awesome Marriage Podcast we welcome back writer, speaker and mentor to women, Cindy Beall. Cindy joins Dr. Kim as they talk about Cindy’s latest book, Rebuilding a Marriage Better Than New.

Cindy oversees the Equipping arm on the Leading & Loving It team that ministers to pastor’s wives and women in ministry. Cindy is married to her husband Chris, who serves as the Oklahoma City Campus Pastor at LifeChurch.tv and also oversees half of the OKC metro LifeChurch.tv campuses.

Tune in below to learn more about what Cindy and Chris did to heal their marriage better than new.

RESOURCES

You can purchase Cindy’s book, Rebuilding a Marriage Better Than New.

You can hear more great insights from Cindy on her blog. You can also follow her on Twitter and Facebook.

This week on theAwesome MarriagePodcast we welcomewriter, speaker and mentor towomen, Cindy Beall. Cindyjoins Dr. Kim as they talk about Cindy’s book, Healing YourMarriage When Trust Is Broken.

Cindy oversees the Equipping armon the Leading & Loving It team that ministers to pastor’swives and women in ministry. Cindy is married to her husband Chris,who serves as the Oklahoma City Campus Pastor at LifeChurch.tv andalso oversees half of the OKC metro LifeChurch.tv campuses.

Tune in below to learn moreabout how God healed Cindy’s marriage after the devastating news ofan affair.

RESOURCES

You can purchase Cindy’s book, Healing Your Marriage When Trust Is Broken.

You can hear more great insights from Cindy on her blog. You can also follow her on Twitter and Facebook.

Cindy shared some great scripture with us including Psalm 27 and 2 Corinthians 1:3-4.

Today on the podcast we welcome back Kyle & Kelly. They join Dr. Kim Kimberling as they talk about their story, what happened, and how she chose to forgive after the affair. They share their honest and raw emotions, pains, and challenges.

Tune in to learn more about deciding to forgive after an affair!

RESOURCES

You can purchase Dr. Kim's book, 7 Secrets to An Awesome Marriage here and great to pair with it is the 7 Secrets to an Awesome Marriage Discussion Guide here.

Today on the podcast we have the privilege of hearing one married couple’s story of how God healed them after an affair. They join Dr. Kim Kimberling as they talk about their story, what happened, and how the husband chose to walk back to God after having the affair. They share their honest and raw emotions, pains, and challenges.

Tune in to learn more about God’s healing after an affair!