You all loved this conversation in the fall so we are kicking off our Wider Lens 2026 with a rerelease of this awesome interview. Jerry Flowers is bringing encouragement about the patterns of your life and posture of your heart as we talk through his new book Heart Rehab: Finding the You God Created You to Be. Lean into the discomfort, create disciplines for preparedness, and surrender your need for control in order to step into your true calling as a son or daughter of the Lord Almighty. He loves you, he is for you, and we can trust him with our hearts!
Episode Highlights:
Stop blaming everyone else. Take time for self reflection.
If we invite God in, He can use all seasons for our good and growth.
Intimacy with the Lord allows us to grow into the people God created us to be.
Discipline and preparation go hand in hand. The more disciplined you are, the more prepared you are for what God has next.
Culture influences us to mislabel our fears, thoughts and anxieties. Make sure you are labeling them correctly.
Quotes from Today’s Episode:
I recognize many times, our placement in life isn't just because of problems, it's because of patterns. -Jerry Flowers
Patterns reveal character. -Jerry Flowers
Patterns are one of the ushers to certain seasons. -Jerry Flowers
We want to blame the enemy, but we have to look at ourselves too. -Jerry Flowers
Be aware of the enemy, for sure. But I think sometimes that keeps us from taking responsibility for our part. -Jerry Flowers
It may not make sense right then, but later it’ll make sense. -Jerry Flowers
I see things that God put me through, before we got married, that helped me when I got married. -Dr. Kim
We want to be whole enough where the Lord can pour into us and we can pour back out.- Jerry Flowers
If you want results, you lean into discomfort.- Jerry Flowers
What changed for me is realizing that my mind can lie to me. -Jerry Flowers
A Wider Lens: Questions for Self Reflection
Look at your daily life and identify one unhealthy pattern you’ve grown comfortable with.
What one discipline could you start practicing to combat this pattern and prepare for what God has next?
Identify an area of your life you haven’t fully surrendered to the Lord. Choose a Scripture verse to meditate on as you commit to trusting Him completely.
Mentioned in this Episode:
Website: Jerryflowersministries.com ; redefinedtv.net
Facebook: facebook.com/JerryFlowersMinistries ; facebook.com/@redefinedtv
Instagram: instagram.com/jerryflowers.jr ; instagram.com/redefinedtv
YouTube: youtube.com/@Beredefined
TikTok: tiktok.com/@jerryflowers.jr
Marriage is one of the most meaningful relationships we experience—but when mental health struggles enter the picture, it can feel overwhelming for both spouses. In this episode, we dive into how mental health impacts the overall health of a marriage, what couples are really facing today, and why caring for your own emotional well-being is essential for a thriving relationship.
Drawing from counseling experience and faith-based wisdom, we address common misconceptions, signs that mental health is affecting your marriage, and practical ways to support a struggling spouse without losing yourself in the process. You’ll also hear encouragement for couples navigating anxiety, stress, or depression, guidance on boundaries and self-care, and insight on when to seek professional help. This honest and hope-filled conversation offers tools to help couples stay connected—even in difficult seasons.
Episode Highlights:
Mental health struggles distort how we see things.
How to identify red flags that your spouse may be dealing with something deeper.
How to recognize the difference in support and rescue.
Encouragement to remain present in the difficult season.
Quotes from This Episode:
You can’t build intimacy from survival mode.
Anxiety tells you everything is a threat and depression tells you nothing is going to get better.
Resentment builds when the healthier spouse feels like they are carrying the whole load.
Your job is to walk alongside your spouse, not carry them.
This is a season, not a sentence.
Talk it Over Together:
What helps you feel emotionally supported by me when you’re struggling?
Are there topics, emotions, or struggles you find hard to share with me? What makes them difficult?
How can we check in with each other more intentionally moving forward?
Mentioned in This Episode:
Marriage need a reset so you can reconnect? This month’s 4 Week Connection Challenge helps you and your spouse intentionally reconnect emotionally, physically, and spiritually—one simple, meaningful step at a time. Start closing the distance and rebuilding the intimacy you’re longing for today.
Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Want to see what God’s Word says about having an Awesome Marriage. Check out 7 Secrets to an Awesome Marriage.
If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our 4 Week Connection Challenge.
I’m so thrilled to have Dr. Kelly Flanagan back on the show. Today he is talking about his newest book The Road Less Triggered, focusing on the importance of recognizing and managing emotional triggers in relationships. The work of faith, self awareness, and compassion is vital in our relationships. Dr. Flanagan shares how to stay engaged, remain soft, and practically manage conflict in a way that brings connection to your marriage.
Episode Highlights:
Understanding Triggered Moments in Relationships
Your body is an early warning system
Living in the security of God's unconditional love provides a foundation of safety.
The posture of your heart affects how you receive communication.
Quotes from This Episode:
Most relationship conflict isn't like D-Day—it's more like Groundhog Day. We keep repeating the same patterns until we decide to break the cycle.
The heart of this work is restoring a sense of choice—the power to keep your heart open, even when you're triggered and it feels impossible.
A response is the fruit of self-regulation. A reaction is a failure of self-regulation.
You can't connect if you're protecting. Openness is required for real connection.
Our culture pushes us to blame others, but real progress comes from taking personal responsibility for how we show up.
Until we move out of being triggered and back into connection mode, we'll keep self-sabotaging every attempt to connect.
Becoming a safe environment for the people you love inspires them to open their own hearts—and builds true connection.
Seeing the ways we differ as sources of complementary wisdom, not flaws to be fixed, can revolutionize your relationship.
Questions for Conversation:
TRIGGER CHALLENGE: Together, identify one habit or action that makes each of you feel safe and heard. Commit to practicing that habit in your interactions over the next week, then reflect on how it affected your connection.
Mentioned in this Episode:
Connect with Dr. Kelly Flanagan
Marriage need a reset so you can reconnect? This month’s 4 Week Connection Challenge helps you and your spouse intentionally reconnect emotionally, physically, and spiritually—one simple, meaningful step at a time. Start closing the distance and rebuilding the intimacy you’re longing for today.
Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. You and your spouse differ and that’s a good thing. Find out how to Celebrate Differences in Marriage, rather than allow them to divide.
If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our 4 Week Connection Challenge
In a culture that celebrates busyness, rest can feel almost impossible. In this episode, we explore the ancient and life-giving practice of Sabbath and why it matters now more than ever for our marriages and families. What did God intend the Sabbath to be—a rule to follow or a gift to receive? Through Scripture, practical wisdom, and real-life counseling insights, we unpack how rhythms of rest renew our emotional, spiritual, and relational health. You’ll hear practical ways couples and families can begin reclaiming Sabbath together, even in the middle of busy and unpredictable schedules, and why choosing rest may be one of the most meaningful investments you can make in your home.
Episode Highlights:
Rest is a rhythm and a gift.
Rest shouldn’t be legalistic, it’s an invitation.
Taking a sabbath has physical and spiritual benefits.
Avoiding the sabbath can lead to spiritual dryness.
Culturally we are so distratcted and overly engaged; and it’s not what we were designed for.
Quotes from this episode:
Man was not made for the Sabbath, the Sabbath was made for man. It’s a gift.
The Sabbath wasn't made to restrict us; it was made to refresh us.
When we’re tired, we don’t choose our battles well.
The sabbath reminds me who’s really in charge.
As Christians sometimes we feel like the busier we are for God, the more we are being faithful- That’s a lie.
Celebrating Sabbath looks different for everyone. Choose what brings you and your family closer to God.
Rest is not lazy.
It’s not about not doing anything, it’s about doing things differently.
If you're exhausted, you can't pour love, patience, or joy into your family. Rest is essential for healthy relationships.
You can't just hope for Sabbath rest—be intentional, make a plan, put it on the calendar, and protect that time.
Questions to Start the Conversation:
Mentioned in this Episode:
Marriage need a reset so you can reconnect? This month’s 4 Week Connection Challenge helps you and your spouse intentionally reconnect emotionally, physically, and spiritually—one simple, meaningful step at a time. Start closing the distance and rebuilding the intimacy you’re longing for today.
Want an opportunity to dig into God’s Word with your spouse? Find Awesome Marriage on YouVersion. Want to see what God’s Word says about having an Awesome Marriage. Check out 7 Secrets to an Awesome Marriage.
If you haven’t browsed our site, you’ve GOT to check out the marriage resources we have over at AwesomeMarriage.com, and browse our online courses at AwesomeMarriageUniversity.com !
Sign up for Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier email for practical weekly marriage tips!
Now is the perfect time to join our Marriage Changers program. Enjoy every resource of the month plus bonus content from Dr. Kim and Mrs. Nancy. Join now, just in time to receive our 4 Week Connection Challenge.
Communication is the #1 issue couples ask for help with and in today’s episode, have got the goods to help you overcome some very common communication mistakes! Whether you need a total overhaul or just a few friendly reminders, today’s episode has practical, actionable advice to improve the communication in your marriage.
Are you making the same mistakes most couples make with communication? Dr. Kim has pretty much seen it all so he’s here today to help us avoid those mistakes, and to build better communication instead.
Episode highlights include:
Three of the most common mistakes Dr. Kim sees over and over with couples he counsels: Blame, discounting, and distraction.
The impact each of these mistakes has on a spouse and marriage
The practical steps to avoid each of these communication pitfalls
Quotes from This Episode:
When you resolve conflict, both of you have to take responsibility for your part in it. I’ve never seen an issue where 1 person was 100% responsible. - Dr. Kim
I think it’s easy for us to rationalize, fool ourselves, and take the time to think it through. - Dr. Kim
I’ve done it, I’ve seen it in other wives: It’s easy for us in parenting to discount our husband’s opinion. - Lindsay
Listen in a way that you can let them know you heard what they said. - Dr. Kim
As a parent with kids in the home, it’s great to have the reminder that they are benefitting from us putting boundaries that let us have an adult relationship with our spouse. As important as they are to us, we should value showing them that solid foundation and modeling marriage for them. - Lindsay
I identify with all three of these, I’ve done them all. It’s not something you just get right then coast, you have to stay on top of it. - Dr. Kim
Questions for You:
Do you use “I” statements to communicate what you need with your spouse?
For example: Instead of, “You always ignore me when I’m talking,” say, “I feel hurt when you scroll on your phone when I’m talking. I want to know that you care about what I have to say.”
Do you have questions about gaslighting, narcissism and blame in marriage? Send them in here and Dr. Kim will be answering listener questions in an upcoming Q&A episode
Mentioned in This Episode:
Need more communication help? Sign up here to save your spot for Dr. Kim’s FREE webinar, “7 Common Communication Mistakes Couples Make”
Questions about gaslighting, narcissism and blame? Submit them anonymously HERE or DM us on Instagram. Dr. Kim will answer them in an upcoming episode
Want to reduce unnecessary arguments, decrease stress in your home, develop better understanding of your spouse, OR just strengthen your bond as a couple? Our 30-Day Communication Challenge is for you!
With Dr. Kim’s One Thing email, you’ll get one practical tip each weekday to build your marriage.
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