Dr. Kim and Camden Morgante explore how purity culture has shaped individuals' beliefs and relationships. They break down five harmful myths it promotes and examine how these misconceptions can impact a couple's sex life after marriage — including the unrealistic expectation of a fairy tale marriage as a reward for remaining pure. Dr. Morgante offers guidance to help couples move beyond the shame and guilt tied to these teachings, so they can embrace the beautiful gift God designed for marriage.
We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.
Episode highlights:
Our God isn’t a transactional god.
Purity culture has been compared to the sexual prosperity gospel. Many individuals only hear negative messages about sex before marriage.
Reclaiming the beauty of sex involves holistic healing of mind, body, heart, and soul.
Teaching children about sexuality should focus on values rather than rules.
Purity culture can lead to feelings of being 'damaged goods'.
Myths of purity culture can cause disillusionment in faith.
Couples Conversation Guide:
Main takeaway:
Our motivation for purity before marriage can serve as a stumbling block to intimacy within our marriage. Purity before and within marriage is important, but our relationship with God isn’t transactional. We are missing the point of God’s heart for sex when the focus is on a reward.
Questions to Discuss:
How was the conversation surrounding sex approached in your youth?
Looking back, did you desire to stay pure before marriage and what was your motivation for purity?
Did you believe one of the “5 lies” Dr. Morgante mentioned in this episode?
What do you think Dr. Morgante means when she says that the lies of purity culture don’t just live in our minds, they live in our bodies?
QUOTES:
These myths didn’t just live in our minds, they lived in our bodies. -Dr. Camden Morgante
When you try to control people, it’s really easy for shame and fear to become part of it.
The end result may be good, but the way you get there can harm people.
Shame and guilt is not from God.
God wants us to experience healing.
We have to have a deeper why for it.
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Dr. Camden Morgante’s Recovering from Purity Culture.
You can connect with Dr. Camden Morgante on Instagram
We have several other AWESOME Resources on our website. Check those out HERE.
Check out our Bible Reading plans on YouVersion and make sure you’re following us there to keep current on all our newest plans!
Porn is doing real damage to too many Christians today. This issue is affecting a huge percentage of our brothers and sisters in Christ, and the shame that often prevents us from talking about it leads to secrecy and hinders healing.
We’re thankful that Nick Stumbo is on the podcast today. Nick is a pastor and the director of Pure Desire Ministries. Along with Barna, Pure Desire recently conducted a study on the impact porn is currently having on the Church in America. Their findings demonstrate how crucial it is to open the conversation about porn among Christians to help them find healing from its destructive impact.
We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.
Episode highlights include:
What the stats tell us about how many Christians are viewing porn regularly
Why talking openly is ESSENTIAL for healing
Exposing the progressive nature of porn addiction
How to make church a place where openness is possible
What to do if your church is not a safe place to confess
How to prepare your kids to handle porn exposure safely
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
Couples Conversation Guide:
Main takeaway: The enemy would love for you to stay stuck in secrecy and shame. Jesus wants to bring freedom and healing. Take a step toward freedom today.
Questions to Discuss:
Do you have a safe friend you can be honest with? Are you practicing confession and accountability in your life? What can you do to help cultivate an honest, godly friendship today?
What is God prompting you need to take responsibility for so that you can grow closer to Him and your spouse today?
QUOTES
“Most people won’t be surprised to know that the numbers are continuing to grow.” - Nick Stumbo
“To my knowledge, it’s the first time in history that the majority of practicing Christians say they are doing pornography.” - Nick Stumbo
“84% of people said there is NO ONE helping them avoid pornography.” - Nick Stumbo
“If shame and secrecy are the sickness, then openness, community and love are what healing is all about.” - Nick Stumbo
“By the time it blows up a marriage, the help was needed 5-10 years ago.” - Nick Stumbo
“You’re not alone. There is help and hope for you. - Dr. Kim Kimberling
“True accountability is about me learning to be responsible for my own actions and behaviors.” - Nick Stumbo
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Pure Desire offers healing groups and great resources to help you find freedom from porn. Check them out here.
Get the stats: Read the research by Barna and Pure Desire HERE
If porn has impacted your marriage, take Dr. Kim’s 5 Steps to Healing After Porn Betrayal webinar to kickstart your marriage healing.
We recommend the book Good Pictures / Bad Pictures to help equip your kids against porn exposure.
Husbands, have you ever felt like your wife expects too much from you? Wives, have you checked whether your expectations are realistic?
Expectations in marriage can be a difficult topic, and they’re a very common source of marriage tension. Which is why today, we want to help break down misunderstandings around spouse expectations today, so that you can experience better connection and more joy in your marriage.
We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.
Episode highlights include:
Wives may struggle to articulate their needs clearly.
Non-sexual affection enhances sexual intimacy.
Emotional connection is crucial for a healthy marriage.
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
Couples Conversation Guide:
Main takeaway: Expectations don't have to be a source of conflict. There's a way to communicate and connect the different wants and needs you have in marriage.
Questions to Discuss:
Are there any expectations that you feel are “too much”?
Husbands, do you need more clarity from your wife about her expectations?
How would you rate how well you actively listen and engage with your spouse?
What would make you a more intentional listener? (time of day, location of conversation, free of distractions, etc.)
When was the last time you checked in with your spouse about the overall health of your marriage relationship.
What are the priorities in your marriage? Do you know your spouse’s priorities? How do they compare?
QUOTES
Wives want to be part of the decision making and feel like it’s a true partnership.
The better the non sexual connection and intimacy is, the better the physical connection and intimacy will be.
Most men weren’t raised to be emotionally expressive.
You don’t have to solve everything.
When I stopped trying to fix it, I heard her better.
A wife wants to feel prioritized.
Learning to say things in a way your spouse can hear takes practice.
You have to accept that God made us different as husband and wife.
The small consistent things you do matter more than perfection.
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
We have several other AWESOME Resources on our website. Check those out HERE.
Check out our Bible Reading plans on YouVersion and make sure you’re following us there to keep current on all our newest plans!
Wives, have you felt that your husband expects too much from you? Husbands, have you checked whether your expectations are realistic?
Expectations of our spouse can be a difficult topic, and they are a really frequent source of marriage tension. That’s why today, we want to help break down misunderstandings around spouse expectations today, so that you can experience better connection and more joy in your marriage. Don’t let expectations trip your marriage up. Listen today and learn to deal with the wants and needs in your marriage.
We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.
Episode highlights include:
Unvoiced expectations in marriage can lead to tension.
Communication is key to understanding each other's needs.
Wives should express their feelings of being drained.
Finding time for connection is essential for couples.
Respect and appreciation are crucial for husbands.
Physical affection is important beyond sexual intimacy.
Teamwork in parenting strengthens the marriage bond.
Articulating needs can help avoid misunderstandings.
Navigating challenges together fosters a stronger partnership. It's crucial to express needs and expectations in marriage.
Vulnerability can be challenging, especially for men.
Regular communication opportunities can help clarify needs.
Listening without trying to “fix it” is essential in relationships.
Understanding each other's perspectives fosters compassion.
Setting boundaries can enhance emotional support.
Counseling can provide valuable tools for communication.
Feeling overwhelmed is a signal for change, not failure.
Asking good questions can open up important conversations.
Investing in support can rejuvenate a marriage.
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
Couples Conversation Guide:
Main takeaway: You can experience better connection and intimacy by learning how to navigate the misunderstandings around expectations.
Questions to Discuss:
Dr. Kim talked about the importance of framing your spouse in a positive way, are there places where you are negatively framing your spouse's wants or needs?
What boundary could you set today so that you could better meet a need for your spouse?
QUOTES
God didn’t give your husband maternal instinct and that’s ok. He’s a man and that’s actually a good thing for your children to experience.
Being overwhelmed as a woman doesn't make you a bad spouse. It’s a signal that something needs to change.
If you’re going to frame your spouse as the problem it’s not going to go well. If you frame your spouse as your teammate then you can work together and that’s really important.
Love and respect are something that husbands and men are designed to need.
If you’re stretching yourself way beyond your capacity then that’s where the negative things start to happen.
Wives, you don’t want your husband going to someone else for emotional support. You want him to go to you.
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Are you experiencing the power of prayer in your marriage? Prayer is an incredibly powerful habit for your marriages. In fact, research shows that 99% of couples who pray together stay together.
Prayer can be so simple, but the reality is that most couples do not make prayer a regular part of their marriage. Today we’re talking about how to practically overcome the obstacles that keep you from praying together so you can make prayer a regular part of your marriage.
We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.
Episode highlights include:
The #1 marriage-building habit - and why most couples don’t do it
What makes prayer so powerful for marriage
The sneaky prayer pitfalls to avoid
How to overcome the common obstacles that keep couples from praying together
The do-able DOs to make prayer part of your marriage
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
Couples Conversation Guide:
Main takeaway: Prayer is so powerful that the enemy will try anything to keep you from making it part of your marriage. Don’t let that happen.
Questions to Discuss:
What’s the primary obstacle that prevents you from praying regularly with your spouse?
What would help the two of you to make prayer a regular part of your day together?
QUOTES
“When you’re praying together, you’re putting God first. That’s where he wants to be.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
“It’s probably one of the main things that the enemy doesn’t want couples to do.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
“When I can get a couple to pray together, the counseling process goes faster, and the marriage gets better.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
“Don’t force praying together in a certain way.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: