Is it harder to live a faithful life today than in times past? Today’s world does provide some unique challenges that couples face, but there are also unique opportunities. Today’s conversation with Gabrielle McCullough sheds light on some of the ways today’s world can be deeply impacted by Jesus and the effects of our faith can have on marriage.
We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.
Episode highlights include:
Unique challenges and unique opportunities for faith in Gen Z
3 questions for biblical accountability
A challenge to help you find your place in the local church
The impact of following Jesus on every aspect of life
Why the local church is still relevant and needed today
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
QUOTES
“Following Jesus impacts every area of your life.” - Gabrielle McCullough
“We follow Jesus because he has our hearts. There’s an obedience that is compelled that isn’t out of drudgery but out of true delight.” - Gabrielle McCullough
“They want something that’s authentic. That excites me about my generation.” - Gabrielle McCullough
There’s a beauty in asking, ‘how can I serve the church?’ instead of asking how others can serve me.” - Gabrielle McCullough
“As Christians, our responsibility is to love people the way Christ loves them; with love and with truth.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
“If marriages can be healthy and strong, what a testament to the world of who Jesus is and the way he fights for his Bride.” - Gabrielle McCullough
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Find Gabrielle on Instagram, TikTok, and on her website
The Christmas in July Sale is on at Awesome Marriage University and that means you get 30% ANY and ALL of our online marriage courses! BROWSE our course offerings to find which one your marriage needs and use the code JULY at checkout!
Our 5 Days to Deeper Emotional Intimacy digital resource provides practical steps to understand and share your emotions, and to work together to grow your emotional intimacy…and it’s our gift to you for your donation of any amount.
Has you or your spouse’s insecurity affected your marriage? We’re all insecure about something, and the way we see ourselves will end up spilling over into the way we relate to others. Nowhere is this more likely to happen than in marriage.
In this episode Dr. Kim and Christina share ways to address your insecurity and your spouse’s insecurity, including a surprising way Dr. Kim has learned to turn his weaknesses to strengths. Tune in for wisdom and practical tips.
We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.
Episode highlights include:
Advice if your spouse’s insecurity is weighing you down
Practical steps to overcome insecurity
How to fight back against your insecurities
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
QUOTES
“How you view yourself absolutely affects how you’re going to interact with others.” - Christina Dodson
“I think the role of the spouse is to build each other up. Your marriage should be your safest place, next to your relationship with God.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
“Perfection is not what God expects from you, nor should anyone else be expecting it from you.” - Christina Dodson
“You begin to believe the things God says about you and who you are in Christ, and that changes your countenance. You will look like a different person.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
“There’s less holding you back if you’re not weighed down by your insecurities. There’s more joy, more abundance, freedom to enjoy life together. ” - Christina Dodson
“One thing God does so well for us is he loves us right where we are. Our goal is to love our spouse right where they are.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
“You can’t take it over. You can’t fix it for them. But you can come alongside and do what God wants you to do.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
“No one is thinking about you as much as you’re thinking about you. To me, that’s really freeing!” - Christina Dodson
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Our 5 Days to Deeper Emotional Intimacy digital resource provides practical steps to understand and share your emotions, and to work together to grow your emotional intimacy…and it’s our gift to you for your donation of any amount.
The Christmas in July Sale is on at Awesome Marriage University and that means you get 30% OFF ANY and ALL of our online marriage courses! BROWSE our course offerings to find which one your marriage needs and use the code JULY at checkout!
Want better connection with your spouse? One thing we hear a lot from couples is that they don’t feel close to each other or that their relationship feels like it’s missing some depth. That’s why today we’re re-airing this episode from Dr. Kim and Christina that talks all about emotional intimacy and gives you ideas of practical ways to deepen the emotional intimacy in your marriage.
We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.
Episode highlights include:
What is emotional intimacy, and why does it matter?
Warning signs you need to grow in this area
Emotional intimacy killers to avoid
Tips to start working on this - alone, and together
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
QUOTES
“It is hard work knowing someone. You have to pay attention. It takes work to be intimate.” - Christina Dodson
“Laziness and business are going to block your intimacy, so we have to fight against those things.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
“Give yourself opportunities to connect.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
“It adds value to my marriage for me to have a relationship with my friends, just like it benefits our marriage that he has guy friends.” - Christina Dodson
“You could have had the best childhood in the world and you still have baggage because we’re human. That’s okay, and you can deal with that.” - Christina Dodson
“You can’t be emotionally intimate with your spouse if you aren’t aware of your own emotions.” - Christina Dodson
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Our 5 Days to Deeper Emotional Intimacy digital resource provides practical steps to understand and share your emotions, and to work together to grow your emotional intimacy…and it’s our gift to you for your donation of any amount.
Your marriage can only be as healthy as the two of you are. The Bible says, “Let us examine our ways and test them and let us return to the Lord” (Lamentations 3:40). Our new Self Check-In Guide will help you do just that!
Print out this Feelings Chart and use it to help you talk about your emotions.
Our Questions To Help Your Spouse Open Up resource is a simple way to help build the closeness between you and your spouseAccountability is a biblical and helpful tool for growing in holiness.
What is a “gospeler”?
It’s probably a lot simpler than you think! It is something that will certainly impact you and your marriage, but also has the potential to have a huge impact on others around you.
Today Willie Robertson shares how one person sharing the Gospel impacted thousands, starting with his family, and he explains just how simple it can be to begin to care enough for others to share the Gospel with them.
We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.
Episode highlights include:
Gospel genealogy & the ripple effect one conversation can have
The Biblical basis for this kind of conversation
Where to start if you don’t know where to start
Advice for parents to share their faith in parenting
Different ways to approach sharing your faith
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
QUOTES
“When you’re active in sharing your faith, it takes care of a lot of other things for you as well.” - Willie Robertston
“The great commission was for all of us.” - Willie Robertston
“Make disciples, baptize people, teach people; you’re not going to do any of those 3 unless you open your mouth.” - Willie Robertston
“It starts with caring about people.” - Willie Robertston
“You start learning the Word, you’ll start standing out in the crowd.” - Willie Robertston
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Order Willie’s new book, Gospeler today!
Find more from Willie at DuckCommander.com and WillieRobertson.com
Our 5 Days to Deeper Emotional Intimacy digital resource provides practical steps to understand and share your emotions, and to work together to grow your emotional intimacy…and it’s our gift to you for your donation of any amount.
Are you ever a bit too helpful in your marriage? Do you find yourself frustrated with the way your spouse responds to you?
You may be trying to control your spouse by “helping” even if you don’t mean to!
Today Laura Doyle from the Empowered Wife Podcast joins Dr. Kim to teach us some ways to shift our marriage culture - without resorting to control tactics. Tune in to learn how!
We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.
Episode highlights include:
Empowering ways to shift the culture of your marriage, even if your spouse isn’t on board
“Cheat phrases” to help you shift from controlling tendencies to deeper intimacy
The unexpected lesson of sitting down with your spouse and getting nothing done!
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Find more of Laura’s content, including her free Empowered Wife Road Map on her website
Check out Laura’s book, the Empowered Wife!
Our 5 Days to Deeper Emotional Intimacy digital resource provides practical steps to understand and share your emotions, and to work together to grow your emotional intimacy…and it’s our gift to you for your donation of any amount.
Most of us deal with self doubt, regret, and feelings of not measuring up. But learning to love ourselves properly means learning to see ourselves as God does, and it allows us to love others more freely and graciously.
Today, Bryan Crum will help you step away from nagging self doubts and into a solid biblical perspective. Give your marriage the gift of seeing yourself and your spouse through God’s eyes.
We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.
Episode highlights include:
Unexpected lessons learned from people who are facing their mortality
Why is it hard to accept loving and valuing ourselves properly?
Rewriting negative messages we’ve learned
Ideas to break away from self-doubt
Why relationships are needed to help us learn to love ourselves
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
QUOTES
“I’m on a mission to help people fall in love with God’s greatest creation; and that’s us.” - Bryan Crum
“We all want to know our time on this earth means something.” - Bryan Crum
“I’ve discovered 2 truths about living: 1. We’re priceless. 2. For some reason, we’ve forgotten that truth.” - Bryan Crum
“We interact with people every day but we don’t always treat them like they are valuable.” - Bryan Crum
“When we acknowledge the truth of what we’re worth, we’re acknowledging a truth heaven knows well.” - Bryan Crum
“The first step is to stop comparing ourselves to each other.” - Bryan Crum
“There's power in giving each other the benefit of the doubt.” - Bryan Crum
“Giving each other grace is a small step that covers a lot of distance.” - Bryan Crum
“Marriage is promising each other that we’re all-in. We’ve got to make the conscious choice to say, ‘I’m still here.’” - Bryan Crum
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
If your marriage is doing okay but could use a jumpstart, then this 5 Week Marriage Refresher Challenge is for you!
Find more from Bryan HERE
Order Bryan’s book, Neighbor, Love Yourself HERE
Conflict is no one’s favorite, but it is an inevitable part of life. And today Donna Jones teaches us why it’s nothing to be afraid of by busting some of the most common misunderstandings that lead to conflict avoidance, and providing a biblical roadmap to handle conflict in a healthy way.
Tune in to learn more about approaching conflict in a healthy, biblical way.
We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.
Episode highlights include:
The biggest mistakes most couples make in conflict
The trick to de-escalate in the heat of the moment.
The inner characteristics that build better conflict habits
Help to break conflict patterns in your marriage
The healthy way to apologize well
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
QUOTES
“When we handle conflict in a healthy way, the outcome is peace. Peace between us and who we have conflict with; peace in our own souls.” - Donna Jones
“When we are in conflict, it literally affects everything about us. We function, but on the inside, we’re torn to pieces.” - Donna Jones
“The reason so many of us think conflict is bad, is that we never learned to see how conflict can turn out good.” - Donna Jones
“When we have conflict, we tend to think it means 1 of 3 things: There’s something wrong with you; there’s something wrong with me, or there’s something wrong with us. But conflict doesn’t mean that.” - Donna Jones
“No relationship can survive an atmosphere of disrespect over the long haul.” - Donna Jones
“The most important thing is not an act, it’s an attitude: Humility.” - Donna Jones
“If you want to know how strong a person really is, look for humility.” - Donna Jones
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Order Donna’s book Healthy Conflict, Peaceful Life today!
Find Donna on her website, on Instagram @DonnaAJones or Facebook @donnajonesspeak/
For more help to break the conflict cycle, sign up for Dr. Kim’s “8 Guidelines for Fighting Fair Webinar”
If your marriage is feeling a bit blah, the Marriage Refresher is the jumpstart you need to bring fresh life into your marriage!
We have gotten a lot of questions about gaslighting and narcissism, and today Dr. Kim is answering. This topic is layered and one podcast episode cannot take the place of more in-depth interventions, but we can offer helpful and hopeful next steps. In today’s episode we’re covering how to know what constitutes abuse versus the sin nature we all struggle with. Listen for
We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.
Episode highlights include:
Marriage counseling doesn’t work with abusers – So what does?
Can a marriage recover after long-term gaslighting?
How to diagnose abuse using the power and control wheel
Does the “gray rock” strategy work in marriage?
Reasons why emotional abuse is often dismissed
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
QUOTES
“Narcissism is all about power and control. Neither of those have a place in marriage at all.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
“I don't think God expects anyone to live in an abusive situation. In many ways, it’s as much a violation of vows as adultery is to not take seriously your vow to love and cherish your spouse.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
“You deserve to be safe.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
“If you look at the message of the BIble, you can’t defend any type of abuse, for any person, ever.” - Lindsay Few
“The goal would be repentance and reconciliation.” - Lindsay Few
“The reason a lot of people minimize emotional abuse because they haven’t seen it.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
“I’ve seen people who gaslight and don't really understand what they’ve been doing.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
“Nobody’s uplifted or brought closer to Christ through manipulative behaviors.” - Lindsay Few
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
The Power and Control Wheel is helpful to understand what constitutes abuse
If your marriage is doing okay but could use a jumpstart, then this 5 Week Marriage Refresher Challenge is for you!
Past episodes on the topic:
Recent series with Kathy’s Story
Is there a war on fathers? Our guest on today’s podcast thinks so. The impact of fathers on their kids is so valuable, yet it’s incredibly difficult to know how to engage purposefully in the process of parenting.
If you’ve had a hand in raising kids, you already know that parenting is not for the faint of heart! That’s why we are so thankful to share today’s episode and Kent Evans’ practical advice and encouragement for dads. Kent Evans is a wise and helpful mentor for dads who are searching for their purpose in parenting. Listen and learn Kent’s simple, practical tips for dads and moms alike.
We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.
Episode highlights include:
What prevents dads from being confident to engage in fatherhood?
The reasons why your kids need an imperfect dad
Advice for the dad who feels like it’s too late to start to engage well
Steps to growing in your purpose as a dad
Advice for the wife who wants her husband to engage
An incredible tip for finding friends & community
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
QUOTES
“Satan wants us to take us out of the fatherhood game by getting us to self-select and walk off the field.” - Kent Evans
“God wants to be known as a dad, therefore there’s a war on fathers.” - Kent Evans
“My experience as a dad is that God can take care of the things I mess up.” - Dr. Kim
“Even if we could be perfect, it would not be beneficial. It would deprive them of the example of how to fall off the horse then get back on.” - Kent Evans
There are few things more motivating to a man than the praise of his wife, but it’s multiplied by an exponent when she does it in front of the children.” - Kent Evans
“I didn’t get it right. I didn’t do it perfectly, but God took my loaves and fishes and they landed as nourishment.”
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Grab Kent’s great tools for dads at ManhoodJourney.org
Listen to the Father on Purpose Podcast
With the Creative Questions Bundle you will NOT lack for great conversation topics! Get all the details here!
Sign up here to get the Couple’s Conversation Guide for each episode!
Marriage doesn’t have to get boring … but for too many couples, it has. If you’re ready to break out of the routine and restore the joy in your marriage, this one's for you!
Listen for ways to have more interesting and connective conversations, new ideas of things to try, and how to avoid common mistakes that keep couples from enjoying their marriage.
We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.
Episode highlights include:
Better questions to ask for better conversations
2 common mistakes that keep couples from having fun together
Several ideas for fun things to try
For Dr. Kim’s bullet point list of steps, sign up for the Conversation Guide
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
QUOTES
“When we’re dating our future wife, we guys up our game.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
“We loved our time with our kids, but we realized we also had to be intentional about our marriage.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
“You have to give yourself time to do the fun stuff. The mundane will still be there when you’re done.” - Lindsay Few
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
With the Creative Questions Bundle you will NOT lack for great conversation topics! Get all the details here!
Check in on your marriage each week with our Weekly Check In Guide to keep your connection strong
Sign up here to get the Couple’s Conversation Guide for each episode!
Is there a marriage resource you need us to make? Tell us your idea!
Arlene Pellicane will be on the podcast later this summer. She has written some great books on tech in the family!
Do you ever feel like you and your spouse are two ships passing in the night? Strangers living under the same roof? Business partners executing the plans you’ve made for your kids and household? Then you’re in a disconnected marriage. The marriage relationship should nurture both spouses.
If you’ve lost the connection in your marriage, or just want to step up from where you are right now, tune in today to learn the practical steps for reconnecting.
We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.
Episode highlights include:
Why do couples disconnect?
The steps to reconnection
A helpful source for fun marriage ideas and resources
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
QUOTES
“Little tweaks can make such a difference.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
“Living separate lives is not going to get you a connected, fun marriage.” Christina Dodson
“We weren’t always there but we chose to stay in the marriage and work through things. It’s worth it.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
“You can continue to grow, but you have to work at it.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Check in on your marriage each week with our Weekly Check In Guide to keep your connection strong Creative Questions Bundle
Sign up here to get the Couple’s Conversation Guide for each episode!
The Sex Talk course equips you to teach your kids about sex in a biblical, God-honoring way
If your marriage communication is a struggle, you are NOT alone. So many marriage issues come back to communication, and if your communication is awesome, your marriage will be too! But most of us will have some trouble with communicating well with our spouse, and it’s the biggest issue couples ask us for help with. That’s why today we’re equipping you with 6 tips to communicate well in the good times and in the bad.
We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.
Episode highlights include:
How to talk so your spouse can listen
Use the “title page” trick to help your spouse listen to you
Dr. Kim’s 6 tips to communicate well
How to find a good counselor if you need one
How to restart the openness & honesty in your marriage
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
QUOTES
“I think what happens for guys is that when we’re dating our future wife, we up our game.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
“It’s hard for me to put my thoughts and feelings into succinct words.I can easily ramble on… but that doesn’t make for good communication.” - Lindsay Few
“The bottom line is you want them to hear what you’re saying, so how do you best communicate in a way that they’re going to hear it?” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
“If you’re going through a hard time, call it that. Work together to reclaim your time and energy.” - Lindsay Few
“We can’t give away every piece of our heart, mind, time and energy to things that drain the life out of us.” - Lindsay Few
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Get the Couple’s Conversation Guide for each episode by signing up here!
The Sex Talk course equips you to teach your kids about sex in a biblical, God-honoring way
Dr. Kim’s blogs on questions to ask your counselor:
Our FREE Weekly Check In Guide helps with regular communication
Making Your Marriage a Refuge with Special Guest Gary Thomas Ep. 530
It often feels like the world around us is too broken. Where would you even start if you wanted to try and fix it? On the podcast today, Charlie and Andi Ashworth answer this question, and thankfully their answer is much simpler and more doable than it might seem.
The Ashworths have spent decades sharing their creative gifts and encouraging others to do the same, and in today’s episode they artfully equip you to take small steps toward creativity, community, and reflecting the light of God’s love, right where you are.
Don’t miss this bonus episode! We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.
Episode highlights include:
How should Christians engage with culture?
A call for culture making - and how simple it is to actually do it
Why the small things matter - and how to use them for good in your life
Hope for becoming the remedy to the loneliness epidemic
How to balance the desire for creativity and the need to get things done
Battling the dis-integration of “mundane” versus doing things we like
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
QUOTES
“We make less and less meaning of everything now, because it’s happening so fast and we’re receiving so much information.” - Charlie Ashworth
“There’s no small people; there’s no small things. Everything matters.” - Charlie Ashworth
“We don’t know the stories that will continue after we do.” - Andi Ashworth
“If all of life matters to God, then all of life matters to us.” - Andi Ashworth
“We want a formula … but it is a process.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
“Based on your faith in Christ, what kind of culture are you making? Are you contributing good? Or are you contributing negativity?” - Charlie Ashworth
“It’s antithetical to the word of God and to creation itself to think that we as people of God are somehow standing outside of it. It actually creates an ‘us’ versus ‘them’ mentality that is so unhealthy.” - Charlie Ashworth
“Start with where you're at: You're actually getting up and making culture every day.” - Andi Ashworth
“As an artist, maturity looks like a seamless integration of a diversity of creativity over time.” - Charlie Peacock
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Charlie and Andi’s book, Why Everything That Doesn't Matter, Matters So Much: The Way of Love in a World of Hurt
Find more from the Ashworths on their website: https://thewriterthehusband.com/
Andy Crouch’s book Culture Making
Learn 7 reasons why your sex life may not be where you want it to be, and how to get it there! Sign up here for the 9 Ways to Improve Your Sex Life Webinar
Your marriage needs trust in order to be healthy. Without it, your connection with your spouse will fade, and you’ll experience more conflict and tension, and less of the closeness and intimacy marriage is meant to have. Don’t stay stuck like this! Turn things around by closing the trust gaps between you and your spouse and make your marriage a safe refuge for both of you.
Episode highlights include:
Areas where you might not realize you lack trust
How to address it effectively with your spouse - without blaming
How to have grace in the rebuilding process
Tips to building financial trust
Practical tips to become more trustworthy with completing tasks
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
QUOTES
“Without trust in a marriage, the marriage just crumbles.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
“We don’t realize how valuable trust is until it’s broken.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
“Trust can be unique to the person and the situation.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
“We have to own what’s driving our trust-breaking behavior.” - Lindsay Few
“The budget isn’t a prison, it’s a plan. But sometimes it will be uncomfortable.” - Lindsay Few
“The sooner you go to counseling, the sooner you’ll resolve your issues.” - Lindsay Few
“If you get stuck, you don’t have to stay stuck.” - Lindsay Few
“Your spouse may make some mistakes, so look for Jesus in your spouse.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
“I felt like he should trust me … but my action was not giving him anything to trust.” - Lindsay Few
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Sign up HERE to get the Couple’s Conversation Guide for each week’s new episode
We are bombarded with negative messages about marriage. FIGHT BACK with our Reframing Challenge
If your marriage has been damaged by porn, the 5 Steps to Healing After Porn Betrayal webinar is a great first step to healing. Learn more or grab your spot here.
Today we answer some of the most frequently asked questions we hear about sex. Dr. Kim and Christina covered this on an episode in 2021, and we’ve distilled their conversation into the most timeless and practical answers to common sex questions.
We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.
Episode highlights include:
How often is “normal”?
Dealing with dead sex drive
Is there such thing as too much sex when trying to conceive?
How to start talking to your kids about sex
What do do if your spouse withholds sex
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
QUOTES
“Guys, you have to continue to be romantic.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
“I wanted my kids to talk to me about sex before they went to a friend or read it on a bathroom wall or a magazine. You want that door to be open.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
“You need to honor each other and respect each other’s body to honor God in marriage.” - Christina Dodson
“Guys, if you please your wife first, does it really matter when you orgasm? There's this unspoken pressure.” - Christina Dodson
“There’s always an answer. I’ve never had a couple we couldn’t figure out an answer for.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
“Stay at the comfort level of the one who is least comfortable. If you do that, you’re going to be ok.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Sign up HERE to get the Couple’s Conversation Guide for each week’s new episode
Dr. Kim’s Marriage Multiplier is a quick weekly email with actionable insights to grow your marriage. Sign up HERE!
Resources we recommend for starting the sex conversation with your spouse
Resources we recommend for talking to your kids about sex:
Full Set - God's Design for Sex Series: Revised and Updated Edition by Stan Jones, Brenna Jones
We’re delighted to partner with The Sex Talk, an excellent online course to help you navigate this topic well
Trust in marriage is not one-size-fits all. There are many areas where your marriage needs trust in order to thrive, and some might matter to your spouse more than they do to you, and vice versa. So today we’re talking about how to navigate any trust gaps you may have with your spouse, how to start the conversation about it, and rebuild what’s been broken so you both feel more connected and secure in your marriage.
We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.
Episode highlights include:
Several types of trust marriages need, and why they matter
The side effects of missing trust
Simple steps to catch a trust slip-up so that trust is not broken
Specific trust-killers you need to avoid
How to build trust - and keep it
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
QUOTES
“It helps to build trust if you accept me as I am, not as you wish I would be.” - Lindsay Few
“I may not even be aware if I did something that affected the trust, and I want to know.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
“If it’s important to her and it keeps coming up, I want her to tell me about it.” Dr. Kim Kimberling
“I’d be so offended when he didn’t trust me, but when I think about the reality, I wasn’t trustworthy.” - Lindsay Few
“Trust is between two people. It’s not just your perception of yourself.” - Lindsay Few
“It’s not like we quit making mistakes, it’s just that we handle them differently now.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
What would happen if you took the next 4 weeks to reframe your spouse and your marriage with a biblical approach? Cultivate a better perspective – and a better marriage, with our Reframing Challenge
Sign up HERE to get the Couple’s Conversation Guide for each week’s new episode
Does your sex life need a reboot? Improve your sex life with our Locking Lips Kissing Game!
If your marriage has been damaged by porn, the Marriage Undefiled Online Course provides a path to rebuild trust and repair your marriage.
Click HERE to get the Couple’s Conversation Guide for each week’s new episode!
The free printable Weekly Check Up is a simple way to keep short accounts and keep building trust.
Does lust have a place in marriage? What sets it apart from sexual desire? Today we’re working through the reasons this question matters for your marriage, and how to have a marriage that glorifies God in every aspect, including how you steward your sexual desires.
We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.
Episode highlights include:
Defining the difference between lust and desire, biblically
The godly purposes for sexual desire in marriage
Specific reasons why misused sexual desire is destructive
How to maintain purity in marriage
Why porn affects your marriage even if your spouse doesn’t know you use it
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
QUOTES
“Lust is more about what you see, what you’re attracted to and what it can do for you.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
“In the Bible, it’s not like they lived in a Puritanical culture at that time. No, it was probably every bit as bad…we just access things in a different way now.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
“If we look at Scripture, lust was never mentioned in a positive light.” - Lindsay Few
“We won’t ever clear that bar, but he’s taken care of it through his life, death and resurrection, so there is grace and forgiveness.” - Lindsay Few
“The best sex is within the context of a Christian marriage.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
“If it’s reduced to that ‘just get it over with’ kind of situation, whoa. Red flag. The goal is not just to satisfy the urge, the goal is mutual enjoyment, pleasure, connection and building of the marriage.” - Lindsay Few
“Vulnerability is uncomfortable, but it can lead you to prevent something a lot more painful.” - Lindsay Few
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
If your marriage has been damaged by porn, our free 5 Steps to Healing After Porn Betrayal webinar with Dr. Kim is a great first step toward healing
Our Marriage Undefiled Online Course with Matt Cline takes a deeper look at ways to heal and restore your marriage
Sign up HERE to get the Couple’s Conversation Guide for each week’s new episode
Getting Your Sex Life Off To A Great Start by Cliff & Joyce Penner
The Gift of Sex by Cliff & Joyce Penner
The Best Way to Affair Proof Your Marriage (Past Episode)
Does your sex life need a reboot? Improve your sex life with our Locking Lips Kissing Game!
Most couples are not going to be completely aligned with sex drive. There are a lot of factors that can cause this, but there are also a lot of solutions!
Today we want to equip you to have a productive approach to making your sex life the best it can be in marriage.
We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.
Episode highlights include:
Why is it so hard to have a productive conversation about sex?
Should the lower-drive spouse “just do it” for the spouse’s sake? Why or why not?
Why respecting your wife’s drive level helps her feel sexy
Ways to respect your spouse’s drive
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
What would happen if you took the next 4 weeks to reframe your spouse and your marriage with a biblical approach? Learn how to have a better perspective – and a better marriage, with our Reframing Challenge
Does your sex life need a reboot? Improve your sex life with our Locking Lips Kissing Game!
If your marriage has been damaged by porn, the Marriage Undefiled Online Course provides a path to rebuild trust and repair your marriage.
Click HERE to get the Couple’s Conversation Guide for each week’s new episode!
Do you hope to break generational patterns of pain? Are childhood hurts haunting your marriage? Today’s guest Kristen Hallinan is a writer and speaker, and today she helps you see how to identify and break generational patterns to find hope, healing and redemption.
We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.
Episode highlights include:
How your past trauma can affects your current reactions
What makes it so hard to break cycles
Red flags of unhealthy family dynamics
How to work with God to find his redemption
Steps to making a redemption plan for your marriage
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
QUOTES
“It can be easy to say, ‘Why didn’t I know better?’ You didn’t know better because that’s all you knew.” - Kristen Hallinan
“The more I’ve gotten to know who God is, the more I understand who I am.”- Kristen Hallinan
“I used to believe if I just tried hard enough, I could grow up and create this perfect family.” - Kristen Hallinan
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Sign up HERE to get the Couple’s Conversation Guide for each week’s new episode
Learn more about how to make your marriage conflict healthy by joining Dr. Kim for the 8 Guidelines for Fighting Fair Webinar
Dr. Kim recommends the book, The Body Keeps the Score
Grab Kristen’s book, Legacy Changer for more great info on the topic
Follow Kristen on Instagram and check out her website
Today we are sharing the final episode with Kathy McAtee Young and her story of finding safety after decades in an abusive marriage. In this episode Kathy shares some of the barriers that prevent spouses in abusive marriages from seeking safety and help, ways to begin moving out of the abusive relationship, and the ways healing begins afterward.
Don’t miss the conclusion to Kathy’s story. We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.
Episode highlights include:
Reasons that abused spouse don’t trust their own judgment
Steps to get out of an abusive marriage
Is it ever appropriate to intervene if you believe someone is being abused?
What the process of healing looks like after you get safe
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
QUOTES
“One of the hallmarks of an unsafe relationship is confusion.” - Kathy McAtee Young
“God sees you. He cares. And he is faithful.” - Kathy McAtee Young
“We don’t want your pity. Compassion, yes. There is a difference.” - Kathy McAtee Young
“Healing is a lifestyle, not a finish line.” - Kathy McAtee Young
“When you can name it, then you can process it.” - Kathy McAtee Young
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline : 800-799-7233 https://www.thehotline.org/
Visit Kathy’s website to learn about the helpful resources and services she offers
Kathy can also be reached for coaching on Instagram
This previous episode explains a Biblical perspective on abuse
Today in Part 2 of Kathy’s story, Kathy shares the ways she sought support from the church when she realized her marriage was in trouble, the responses she received, and the effects that had on her marriage. In this episode Kathy shares why it’s not possible for the abused spouse to end the abuse, and the difference between biblical versus unbiblical advice about abuse.
We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.
Episode highlights include:
Interventions the church put in place, and why they were not successful
The wake up moment that turned things around for Kathy
What is an appropriate response to spousal abuse?
The red flags that advice or counsel about abuse is unbiblical
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
Red flags that advice or counsel about abuse is unbiblical
They won’t call out that abuse is abuse
They will not call the abuse sin
The safety of the abused spouse is not top priority
There is no call for repentance
They advise you to stay, regardless
Blaming the abused for the abuse
QUOTES
“There is one person responsible for abuse: It is the abuser.” - Kathy McAtee Young
“The Bible definitely commands forgiveness. It does not command reconciliation.” - Kathy McAtee Young
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline : 800-799-7233 https://www.thehotline.org/
Visit Kathy’s website to learn about the helpful resources and services she offers
Kathy can also be reached for coaching on Instagram
This previous episode explains a Biblical perspective on abuse
When does an unhealthy marriage become an abusive marriage? Where can you go when you need to get out? In today’s episode we hear part 1 of Kathy’s real marriage story. Kathy shares how she came to believe that divorce was the most God-honoring option in her situation, and how she found safety after 30+ years in an emotionally abusive marriage.
We are so grateful to Kathy for generously sharing her story. We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.
Episode highlights include:
Dispelling myths about who falls into abuse
Why marriage counseling does not work in abusive marriages
How Kathy learned her marriage was abusive
Why she stayed as long as she did, and why she later divorced
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
This previous episode defines a clear Biblical perspective on abuse:
QUOTES
“I want to debunk the myth that abused women are poorly educated, lower income, women who can easily be taken advantage of. That’s just not accurate.” - Kathy McAtee Young
“Within the first year, I knew we had trouble…” - Kathy McAtee Young
“Marriage counseling does not work if there’s abuse involved. I know that now.” - Kathy McAtee Young
“Most people who are narcissists are really good at it.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
“You have this idea that, ‘If she could fix all these things, then I wouldn’t be this way.’ That’s the blame shifting.” - Kathy McAtee Young
“The heart of abuse is power and control. Everything else is tactics.” - Kathy McAtee Young
Do you fight fair, or do you wish there was a referee to call a stop to the foul play when you argue with your spouse? Ground rules are an important step toward having healthy marriage conflict, so today Dr. Kim will spell out how to make sure you’re fighting fair in your marriage. We want to empower you to fight fair, and resolve issues in a kind and loving way.
If you need help to fight fair and truly resolve issues without making things worse, you will love today’s conversation.
We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.
Episode highlights include:
The DOs and DON’Ts of fighting fair
The side effects of unhealthy conflict
A healthy way to “let it all out”
Can honesty go too far? How do you know?
Tips to the reconnection process - how to make up well
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
QUOTES
“We both learned we needed to reconnect and apologize, but sometimes we werent’ ready to take that step at the same time. We had to learn that somebody needs to take the step. It doesn’t really matter who started the fight or who was wrong.”
“Taking responsibility is huge. Owning your part in it, even if you think you only did 10%, you still did 10%.”
“What are you sorry for? Be very specific in what you did and why you're taking responsibility.”
“I say it a lot: One of the best gifts you can give your marriage is to learn how to resolve conflict.”
Forgiveness and apologies need to have no strings attached. It’s just that I choose to do this.
We’re not just trying to clear a slate so our spouse stops bugging us. Have you repented before the Lord? That’s where this starts.
We are accountable to Him before being accountable to our spouse. Did I just treat my spouse in the way He would have me treat them? If not, I need to take that up with Him
QUESTIONS FOR YOU
When you really think about it, how did it affect your spouse when you had this conflict?
Repentance. Learning from the mistakes made and committing to work on them together.
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Learn more about how to make your marriage conflict healthy by joining Dr. Kim for the 8 Guidelines for Fighting Fair Webinar
Our Conflict Resolution Cheat Sheet is your quick guide to get marriage conflict on the right track.
If you’re ready to learn how to do conflict well, the Conflict Resolution Guide helps you diagnose the problem areas in your marriage, then learn the steps to resolve them.
TODAY is the last day for our 7 Most Popular Resource Bundle! Don’t miss the chance to get 7 of our most-loved resources for 1 donation of ANY amount in support of the ministry of Awesome Marriage! Get all the details here!
Sick of the same old fights over and over with your spouse? Learn to de-escalate marriage fights and resolve issues in a healthy and helpful way. Conflict in marriage is inevitable, but the way you handle it is what matters most. Learning to deal with it well will benefit your marriage in so many ways! Tune in today to learn how.
We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.
Episode highlights include:
Common conflict pitfalls to avoid
The problem with “winning” marriage fights
Tips to help you break the fighting cycle
What to do if one spouse is not ready to reconnect
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:
Are you stuck in a conflict cycle? If so, work together to identify what’s triggering it.
Choose 1 tip from Dr. Kim’s list below that you will both agree to use this week.
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
QUOTES
“When we try our best to avoid conflict, we’re not really equipping ourselves with the skills to handle it well.” - Lindsay Few
“Awareness gives you some insight that can really be useful.” Dr. Kim Kimberling
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Learn more about how to make your marriage conflict healthy by joining Dr. Kim for the 8 Guidelines for Fighting Fair Webinar
Our Conflict Resolution Cheat Sheet is your quick guide to get marriage conflict on the right track.
If you’re ready to learn how to do conflict well, the Conflict Resolution Guide helps you diagnose the problem areas in your marriage, then learn the steps to resolve them.
It’s here! Our 7 Most Popular Resource Bundle is LIVE! That means you can get 7 of our most-loved marriage building resources by making 1 donation of ANY amount to support the ministry of Awesome Marriage! The bundle is available for a limited time only. Get all the details here!
Learn how conflict can create a deeper connection between you and your spouse. Today’s special guest, marriage coach Dana Che is very open about the struggles her marriage faced. In today’s episode she shares her marriage story, what got them through, and how you can use the conflict you face in marriage to draw you toward deeper connection.
We pray this episode is helpful for you and your marriage.
Episode highlights include:
What we can learn from our conflict triggers
How to deal with different conflict styles in marriage
Steps to break generational cycles in your marriage
The power of speaking life to our spouse and our marriage
How being emotionally unavailable tends to show up in husbands and in wives & what to do about it
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
QUOTES
“As a wife, I knew I couldn’t change my husband … but that didn’’ keep me from trying.” Dana Che
“When you actually engage in conflict, you can start to learn more about your spouse, what’s important to them.” -Dana Che
“You’ve got to feed the right things if you want to change the wrong things.” - Dana Che
“Just like you learned that bad behavior, you can unlearn it and learn something new.” Dana Che
“True repentance is visible.” Dana Che
“What we believe, we will begin to speak. What we speak, we will begin to behave.” Dana Che
QUESTIONS FOR YOU
What does your most recent marriage conflict reveal about what’s most valuable to you?
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Find more from Dana at DanaChe.com, where you can take her “Connection Check” quiz
Listen to the “Real Relationship Talk” podcast
Joining Marriage Changers now means you score a huge haul of marriage-building goods when our annual *7 Most-Popular Resource Bundle* goes live on April 2nd!