Has marriage been harder than you thought it would be? We often say there’s hope for every marriage, no matter where you are today - and there truly is. But you may be wondering how exactly to hold on and fight for your marriage if you’re in a really hard season. Today, we are sharing Dr. Kim’s conversation with special guest Toni Nieuwhof.
Toni is an author, speaker and family law mediator, and she brings such hope and wisdom in today’s episode. Tune in for hope and help to make the future of your marriage better than today.
We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.
Episode highlights include:
The mental shift helped Toni and her husband keep fighting when their marriage was on the brink
Practical steps they took to start healing
Common issues Toni sees couples divorce over
How to change your mental narrative about your marriage
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
RESOURCES
Get more of Toni’s wisdom on this topic in her book, “Before You Split”
On her website at https://toninieuwhof.com/
And on the Smart Family Podcast
Are you willing to do what it takes to reset and renew your marriage? Fight for your marriage with the Marriage 911 online course.
Missed the other episodes of our summer Worth Repeating Series? So far we’ve aired:
How can curiosity help you have an awesome marriage? How can you grow yourself and your marriage, even in the busyness and life’s changing seasons? As we share some of our favorite past episodes this summer, we are so happy to re-air Dr. Kim’s interview with Bob Goff. Bob and Dr. Kim talked about how to dream big, be courageous and grow closer with your spouse. Don’t miss their encouraging conversation today - it’s certainly worth repeating!
We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.
Episode highlights include:
The role curiosity plays in keeping you - and your marriage - interesting
Learning to align your dreams as a couple
What to do if you don’t have any big dreams to chase
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
RESOURCES
27 Scripture Prayer Cards combine the power of prayer and the power of God’s Word, designed beautifully to help you invite God’s to work in your marriage
Find Bob @ bobgoff.com
Check out Maria’s new book, Love Lives Here
Dr. Kim especially liked Bob’s book Everybody Always
Missed the other episodes of our summer Worth Repeating Series? So far we’ve aired:
One common theme we hear from our couples at Awesome Marriage is that life and marriage have been difficult the past few years. The unexpected and unpredictable realities have taken a toll on many of us, and the anxiety and angst have made us quite “prickly.” In today’s episode, Dr. Kim and Christina talk about that prickliness and help you evaluate if you’ve been a little prickly and if so, how to work through it.
We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.
Episode highlights include:
Defining exactly what we mean by “prickly”
Dr. Kim shares some healthy ways to deal with the pain
Red flags that can help show us our prickliness
What do I do if this is me? What if it’s my spouse?
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
RESOURCES
Dr. Kim and Nancy’s book, Love, Intimacy and Sex in Second Half is out now! Click HERE to grab your copy!
27 Scripture Prayer Cards combine the power of prayer and the power of God’s Word, designed beautifully to help you invite God’s to work in your marriage
We’re on our annual summer break from the podcast, and during the break we love to re-air favorite past episodes. Today we’re sharing Dr. Kim’s conversation with former NFL linebacker Sam Acho, a speaker, podcaster, and humanitarian. They had an honest and encouraging conversation about what holds us back from being authentic and how to break through fears and be more real.
We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.
Episode highlights include:
The breakthrough that first helped Sam to stop hiding & pretending he was ok
Why the closest relationships can also be the places we feel the most insecure
Why the small steps we take to be real are actually big!
Steps to take when you feel you’re not living in authenticity
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
RESOURCES
Dr. Kim and Nancy’s book, Love, Intimacy and Sex in Second Half is out TODAY!! Click HERE to grab your copy!
27 Scripture Prayer Cards combine the power of prayer and the power of God’s Word, designed beautifully to help you invite God’s to work in your marriage
Sam & Dr. Kim talked today about his book, Let the World See You, and he also has a new book, Change Starts With You: Following Your Fire to Heal a Broken World
Find Sam on Twitter and Instagram @thesamacho
Marriage is more of a marathon than a sprint, and to go the distance, it definitely helps to learn from someone who has gone before. Who better to learn from than Dr. Kim? He and Nancy are more than 50 years into marriage, and continue to have so much fun together. It’s not always easy, but it’s definitely worth it! Today Dr. Kim shares his top 5 ways to build a marriage you love that will stand the test of time.
We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.
Episode highlights include:
Practically speaking, how do you put “God first, spouse second”?
Is the goal to just stay together - or to keep making the marriage better and better?
The power of looking forward to something together
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
RESOURCES
Dr. Kim and Nancy's book Love, Intimacy, and Sex in the Second Half is out! Click HERE to order your copy!
When it comes to having fun and not taking things too seriously, Dr. Kim and Nancy have got receipts! See all the shenanigans on TikTok and Instagram :)
Want to have more fun with your marriage? Our 14 Days of Marriage Fun resource helps you break up the routine and enjoy more fun and laughter together!
Recovery after porn is possible. Your mind can heal and you can break the addiction. Today’s guest, Matt Cline, is the founder and director of Restored Ministries, which leads men and women out of sexual brokenness and into a life of freedom and impact. Matt has seen countless lives radically changed around the world.Today he talks about his healing process, how God restored his beliefs about sex
We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.
Episode highlights include:
The God-given purpose of our sex drive - and why that matters
How do you define the actual difference between “sex” and “making love”?
Lies porn teaches us about sex and how to replace them with truth
Specific ways the mind changes after porn recovery
The process of turning temptation into an opportunity for worship
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
RESOURCES
Find all of Matt’s resources at www.restoredministries.ca
Restored Ministries is on Instagram @restoredsexuality, Facebook @ Restored Ministries, and the Pure Victory Podcast.
You don’t have to settle for a struggling marriage. The 90 Days to Save Your Marriage plan starts right where your marriage is today and helps get it on the road to healing.
Click HERE to preorder Dr. Kim’s new book, Love, Intimacy and Sex in the Second Half!
Can your marriage be happy, even after…? Our guest today said that, “About 70% of men in the church are struggling cyclically or addictively with pornography, and about 30% of women. It’s time to stop giving the enemy the power of our silence.” We completely agree! While this story is not easy to tell, letting light into our darkest places is how we will experience the healing God wants for us.
We are so thankful that Dannah shared her story with us this week. We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.
Episode highlights include:
The antidote to “I don’t even know what to do” about this
Does a porn addiction always escalate? And why?
Some of the science behind why this addiction is so hard to kick
The impact of betrayal trauma on a spouse
RESOURCES
If porn use has damaged your marriage, you may struggle to feel close and to re-engage in sexual intimacy. You know that healing is possible, but how do you get there?
Today Dr. Kim shares ways that couples can overcome the hurt caused by porn and re-establish the intimacy that will make the marriage thrive again. Time and again, we have seen couples restored, and their marriage even better than before. Tune in today and learn how this can be true for your marriage too.
We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.
Episode highlights include:
Overcoming intrusive thoughts and insecurities
How porn and comparison are similar
Why the marriage can be better than before after healing from this
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
RESOURCES
Do you love the Bible app as much as we do? Do not miss Dr. Kim’s Verse of the Day on YouVersion Friday!
Keep your marriage thriving for the long haul! Order Dr. Kim’s new book, Love, Intimacy and Sex in the Second Half!
Has the Awesome Marriage podcast helped your marriage? If so, will you take a moment to leave us a rating and review? They take just a moment to leave, but they do make an difference in getting the show in front of more people.
In Spotify, click the “star” icon right under the show’s heading
On Apple Podcasts, scroll down to the “Ratings & Reviews” section of the show page
Don’t settle for a struggling marriage. The 90 Days to Save Your Marriage plan is affordable, practical, and starts right where your marriage is today to get it on the road to healing.
Porn use is a pain point for all too many marriages. Today we talk about how to begin healing and rebuilding trust if porn has damaged your marriage. We have seen countless marriages restored from this issue, and we believe God can do the same for you and your marriage. Tune in to learn how you can begin to trust again.
We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.
Episode highlights include:
The key to knowing if your spouse has changed and is trustworthy
What if they haven’t changed?
Why confession is vital to healing and freedom
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
RESOURCES
If you are ready to be free from porn, our friends at Restored Ministries offer several options to help both. Please do not hesitate to reach out.
If your marriage has been affected by infidelity, our online Affair Recovery Course can help. This course is helpful whether you’re just starting the recovery process, or are already in process. Use code: “AWESOMEMARRIAGE” for %10 off.
Has the Awesome Marriage podcast helped your marriage? If so, will you take a moment to leave us a rating and review? They take just a moment to leave, but they do make an difference in getting the show in front of more people.
In Spotify, click the “star” icon right under the show’s heading
On Apple Podcasts, scroll down to the “Ratings & Reviews” section of the show page
Learn how to keep your marriage strong for the long haul! Order Dr. Kim’s new book, Love, Intimacy and Sex in the Second Half!
We know this topic is a painful one for all too many marriages, and we also know that God can bring full healing if your marriage has been damaged by porn. Today Dr. Kim shares how he’s seen porn impact marriages over the years, why it’s always a problem if it’s part of a marriage, and how to start breaking free.
We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.
Episode highlights include:
Why porn use is never a one-person issue
Why keeping porn use secret makes it harder to stop using
Addressing common cultural myths about porn such as, “everyone does it” and “it doesn’t hurt anyone”
Steps to breaking free if you are using porn
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
RESOURCES
If you are ready to be free from porn, our friends at Restored Ministries offer several options to help both. Please do not hesitate to reach out.
If your marriage has been affected by infidelity, our online Affair Recovery Course can help. This course is helpful whether you’re just starting the recovery process, or are already in process. Use code: “AWESOMEMARRIAGE” for %10 off.
Great things are happening on the Awesome Marriage Podcast this summer! In this quick update Dr. Kim and I pop in to talk about what you can expect and what you'll be hearing over the next few weeks. Plus an exciting announcement from Dr. Kim!
We pray these episodes are helpful to you and your marriage.
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
RESOURCES
Learn to make your marriage strong for the long haul -- Order Dr. Kim’s new book, Love, Intimacy and Sex in the Second Half.
If you need anything from us, don’t hesitate to reach out at info@awesomemarriage.com
When Eric and Erikah Rivera met and started dating as high school sweethearts, they sensed God’s call on their lives. But they did not know how it would all unfold. Today they are church planters in their hometown of Chicago, and they graciously share their story of how God has met them in the midst of unexpected fear and pain, and the ways He has worked in each circumstance. Don’t miss this encouraging conversation with the Riveras.
We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.
Episode highlights include:
How sharing their fears and grief with each other led to increased faith
Unexpected ways God can use our trials when we invite Him to
Should the disciple be known as “Doubting Thomas” or “Ride-or-Die Thomas”?
When God doesn’t answer our prayers the way we hope
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
Application Questions:
What fears are underlying in your heart and mind today? What prevents you from speaking them?
Where do you need to see Jesus show up in your life today? In your marriage?
How do you need support in those things in your marriage today?
How can you better support your spouse in the things they are dealing with today?
RESOURCES
Hear more on the Brook Church website and YouTube Channel
This week we conclude our powerful Unpacking the Baggage series with some details on the process of unpacking marriage baggage, and dealing with what’s underneath. I’m so thankful for Dr. Kim’s biblical wisdom on this topic, as well as the excellent guests we heard from this month. If you missed the previous episodes of this series, make sure to go back and listen for some powerful wisdom on how to heal your heart and your marriage.
We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.
Episode highlights include:
Some of the physical signals that can help us prevent overreactions
Slowing down the process to identify relationship triggers
How to begin healing from relationship triggers and figure out what’s underneath
What to do if you don’t know what’s underneath
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
RESOURCES
The L.O.V.E. Your Way Through Marriage Course, by Chris and Jamie Bailey, is a journey of connecting and learning all the necessary steps to start having healthy conflict. Use promo code AWESOMEMARRIAGE for 10% off!
How can disappointment or unmet expectations in marriage lead us to God’s healing? Our marriage will only be as healthy as the two people in it, and God wants to restore and heal our hearts. We’re delighted to have John and Stasi Eldredge on the podcast today. The Eldredges share so much wisdom and their personal experiences with God’s healing power in their lives and their marriage.
Episode highlights include:
How to navigate expectations for your marriage and the hurt they can bring
How to take pressure off your spouse and your marriage
he two great conversions in the Christian life
What they would have missed if they had called it quits
We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.
RESOURCES
Dr. Kim highly recommends Pause App, by the Eldredges
Check out their site, www.wildatheart.org - it is full of SO many great resources for you!
When we carry parts of our past with us, it still affects us into today. If we aren’t talking about how the past is for each spouse pushing its way into the present, then we’re probably not getting to the depth of the truth of what’s really going on.
Dr. Kelly Flanagan is a repeat guest on the podcast, and today he shares some transformative steps to dealing with what’s under the surface, and helping your spouse to do the same. Don’t miss this helpful episode!
Episode highlights include:
Do we really need to bring up old stuff from the past? Why does it matter now?
Is your heart open to your spouse, or closed?
What are steps to helping a spouse deal with their baggage?
What does it mean to “hold space” for your spouse? Plus why and how to do that
We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
RESOURCES
Find more of Dr. Kelly’s resources, including the Loveable Mini Course, at his website: Drkellyflanagan.com
Get Dr. Kelly’s newest book, The Unhiding of Elijah Campbell
When we carry parts of our past with us, they still affect us today. You may know there is something going on, but not know what it is. You may sense your spouse has something they are carrying or you might be affected by unresolved conflict in your shared past. Today Dr. Kim shares how these things shape our marriage relationships and what we can do about them.
Episode highlights include:
Ever been picked last at recess? Yeah, us too. But do things like that matter in our marriages?
Why aren’t we dealing with this stuff already?
What happens if we don’t deal with our past hurt
Is it okay to talk about our spouse’s baggage if they don’t bring it up?
We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.
Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode. When you sign up, you will get our 4 Week Connection Challenge for free! Plus you will get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox.
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
RESOURCES
This is the FB Live video with Chris and Jamie Bailey that we referred to dealing with Emotional Rationalization
Here's what's coming up in the next several weeks on the Awesome Marriage Podcast! I'll share which guests will be appearing on the podcast and a snippet of what they'll talk about. This series is full of warmth and wisdom, so make sure to tune into each episode!
Episode highlights include:
Practices to better position ourselves to hear God’s voice over the world’s noise
The psychology of please, the science of sorry, and the theology of thanks
The antidote to bitterness, and the lasting impacts of unconfessed bitterness
We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.
RESOURCES
For some guidance to try Mark’s idea of asking great questions, try our 52 Questions For Your Family Table. These are designed to help you ask great questions and engage in interesting conversation!
If you enjoyed this episode, you will love Mark’s new book Please, Sorry, Thanks!
So many parents know the pain of a broken relationship with their adult child. This isn’t how you thought it would go, and you’re not sure how to love your child when they continue to break your heart. Today Dr. David E Clarke returns to the podcast to give some biblical steps that parents can take, individually or as a couple, with their prodigal child.
Episode highlights include:
10 scenarios that can cause relational disconnect with your adult child
Steps to repairing your relationship when you’ve fallen short
Resolving parental guilt - and what happens if you fail to do so
Forgiving the adult child that has broken your heart
What role do other family members play?
We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
RESOURCES
Today we tackle listener questions about how to practically apply boundaries in specific marriage situations. Dr. Kim gives some great starting points to help you deal with situations that you may be facing where a boundary would help, but you just don’t know what that boundary should be, or how to set it.
Episode highlights include:
Decision-making boundaries with in-laws
Dealing with a controlling parent
How to address an unmet promise without nagging
Finding creative solutions to address marriage pain points
We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
RESOURCES
Learn all about how to set healthy boundaries for your marriage with our Building Better Boundaries For Your Marriage online course.
Our new Boundaries Workbook Guide helps you decide where and how to start applying this content to your marriage.
Today on the podcast, we’re sharing real stories of marriage boundaries that couples used to help their marriage grow healthier. Dr. Kim and I each share some of our own experiences, and we will hear from 4 members of the Awesome Marriage team about boundaries that helped their marriage.
Episode highlights include:
The money mindset that set Dr. Kim and Nancy up for success together
A simple way to transition from your work-from-home to family time
Lindsay and Christina share practical boundaries for couples in ministry
Dr. Kim and Lindsay have opposite takes on one thing their spouses do
We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
RESOURCES
Learn all about how to set healthy boundaries for your marriage with our Building Better Boundaries For Your Marriage online course.
Our new Boundaries Guide helps you decide where and how to start applying this content to your marriage.
The 7 Most Popular Resource Bundle launches today! It’s available for 2 weeks only, so don’t miss the chance to get 7 of our most-loved resources for just one donation. https://awesomemarriage.com/2023-april-bundle
Today we’re going to get into what healthy boundaries do and do NOT look like. We will troubleshoot the confusion and frustration that boundaries can bring when they’re not working like they should, and tell you what to do about it.
Episode highlights include:
We unpack some reasons you might avoid setting boundaries
Red flags that you are doing boundaries wrong
How to clarify the importance of the issues you discuss
When you have assumed your spouse knows your boundaries
We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
RESOURCES
Learn all about how to set healthy boundaries for your marriage with our Building Better Boundaries For Your Marriage online course. Dr. Kim covers why and how and gives practical tips and examples to help you put them in place.
Our new Boundaries Guide helps you decide where and how to start applying this content to your marriage.
For more information on boundaries, Henry Cloud and John Townsend’s book, Boundaries is an immensely helpful time-tested staple.
Do you ever get a little defensive when your spouse disagrees with you? Marriage disagreements get real because we can’t just ignore what we don’t agree on like we can with an acquaintance. Today Mike Donehey joins Dr. Kim on the podcast and shares gospel-centered wisdom that shows us a better way to disagree.
Episode highlights include:
How Christians should handle defensiveness
A great way to diffuse an argument as soon as it begins
What can happen when we take the time to really hear the other person’s argument
We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
RESOURCES
Read Mike’s book, Grace in the Gray: A More Loving Way to Disagree
Find Mike at MikeDonehey.com
Listen to Mike’s podcast, Chasing the Beauty
Today we get into the details of how to carry out healthy boundary setting. We continue the series on healthy boundaries by talking about logistics of how to set and carry out the boundaries our marriages need.
We’ll talk about how to do this conversation well, and what NOT to do when you talk about them. Tune in to hear how to set these well to help you and your marriages to be their healthiest.
What do you want to hear more about before we close this series? Let me know!
Episode highlights include:
Dr. Kim gives several examples of how to make boundaries enforceable
Practical dos and don'ts of a boundaries conversation
What to do if your spouse doesn’t agree to your boundaries or respect them
Ways for in-laws to deal with boundaries involving their married kids
We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
RESOURCES
A helpful companion episode: What is Team Language? | Ep. 501
Our Boundaries Guide walks through the topics we’ve covered through this series and helps you decide where and how to start applying this content to your marriage.
We talk to a lot of couples who don't know what makes them a great team, so we created Team You & Me: A Guide to Approaching Your Marriage as a Team, to help you be more intentional to tap into all God has for you in the gift of your marriage.
Our Conflict Solving Survey & Workbook provides more help to work on healthy and effective conflict resolution together.
Several types of boundaries can help your marriage be healthy, and today we’re talking about boundaries outside of marriage. That means with family, friends, and the opposite sex. We could probably devote an entire episode to each of these categories! We definitely can’t cover every possibility, but we can get the conversation started.
Episode highlights include:
Boundaries with your in laws & adult married children
Guidance on setting boundaries with your kids at any age
Basic boundaries for co-parenting with an ex
Dr. Kim’s recommendations for affair prevention boundaries
We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.
*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here!
RESOURCES
Learn all about how to set healthy boundaries for your marriage with our Building Better Boundaries For Your Marriage online course. Dr. Kim covers why and how and gives practical tips and examples to help you put them in place.
Get 25 of Dr Kim’s best conflict resolution tips in our Conflict Resolution Cheat Sheet!
Our new Boundaries Guide helps you decide where and how to start applying this content to your marriage.
Our friends Dan & Kay at Centsei can help you set a budget and stick with good financial boundaries.
We talk to a lot of couples who don't know what makes them a great team, so we created Team You & Me: A Guide to Approaching Your Marriage as a Team, to help you be more intentional to tap into all God has for you in the gift of your marriage.