In this episode Dr. Kim & Christina talk about the # 7 Marriage Mistake Dr. Kim sees in marriages. Which is dishonesty. You may not think you are one to be dishonest and lie, but chances are you are less honest than you think you are. Dishonesty is never good for your marriage. In this episode Dr. Kim shares red flags to pay attention to and practical ways to grow in truthfulness and openness in your marriage. 

We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage. 

Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode and get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox! 

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here! 

NOTEWORTHY QUOTES

• “Sometimes we lie in what we say and sometimes we lie in what we don’t say.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “The more you get comfortable lying to your spouse about small things the easier it will get to lie to your spouse about big things.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Lies build distance whereas truth builds closeness.” - Christina Dodson

SPONSORS

• Thank you to Groove Life for sponsoring this podcast episode! Groove Life has the Groove ring that is the world's first breathable active ring that is not only super comfortable but functional. Born from need, GROOVE raises the bar on traditional silicone, activewear rings with its flexible material, patent-pending, inner breathable design, and beautiful colors. You can use the code “awesomemarriage” for 15% off your order! 

RESOURCES

• Check out the Weekly Marriage Check Up Guide Christina mentions in this episode. Use it to work on your marriage each week!
• Brighten your marriage with our new resource 30 Gems of Wisdom For Your Marriage. This digital resource is an 18 page PDF that gives you 30 nuggets of God’s wisdom regarding your marriage. Get it today here! 
• Become a Marriage Changer and receive some sweet exclusive benefits. Learn more here!
• Sign up to get Dr. Kim’s One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day via email, text, or podcast here! 

Right now we are in our Top 10 Marriage Mistakes series. Over the years Dr. Kim has seen some central mistakes couples make that hurt their marriage. In this series we are breaking down the top ten marriage mistakes he sees. 

In this episode we share Marriage Mistake #8 which is nasty habits: anything that just plain annoys you that your spouse does.

Can you think 1 (or 10!) things that annoys you about your spouse or that your spouse does that bugs you? I bet you can! Well Dr. Kim & Christina talk all about that in this episode and most importantly, they share how to healthily DEAL with those annoying habits. 

We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.

Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode and get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox! 

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here! 

NOTEWORTHY QUOTES

• “Small things, with the wrong perspective, can take up big space in our hearts.” - Christina Dodson
• “Work together on the things you can change about each other.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “If you’re annoyed by your spouse’s habit, ask God to make it clear whether it’s worth saying something to your spouse about it or if it’s something you can look past to see the good in your spouse.” - Christina Dodson
• “Do not try to manipulate your spouse out of their annoying habit, that’s not going to solve the problem.” - Christina Dodson
• “Be careful to confront your spouse’s problem and not confront your spouse.” - Christina Dodson

SPONSORS

• Thank you to Groove Life for sponsoring this podcast episode! Groove Life has the Groove ring that is the world's first breathable active ring that is not only super comfortable but functional. Born from need, GROOVE raises the bar on traditional silicone, activewear rings with its flexible material, patent-pending, inner breathable design, and beautiful colors. You can use the code “awesomemarriage” for 15% off your order! 

RESOURCES

• Brighten your marriage with our new resource 30 Gems of Wisdom For Your Marriage. This digital resource is an 18 page PDF that gives you 30 nuggets of God’s wisdom regarding your marriage. Get it today here! 
• Become a Marriage Changer and receive some sweet exclusive benefits. Learn more here!
• Sign up to get Dr. Kim’s One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day via email, text, or podcast here! 

Dr. Kim has been married for 50 years and has been a Marriage Counselor for over 40 years. Over the years he has seen some central mistakes couples make that hurt their marriage. In this series we will be breaking down the top ten marriage mistakes he sees. 

In this episode Dr. Kim and Christina discuss Marriage Mistake #9: Being Selfish or Greedy. 

We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.

Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode and get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox! 

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here! 

NOTEWORTHY QUOTES

• “It’s really hard to live with someone who wants things to go their way all the time.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Every couple at some point is prone to greed and selfishness because we’re sinners.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Selfishness is the root of a lot of other sins that cause issues in marriages.” - Christina Dodson
• “You will not have a good marriage if it is a self-centered marriage.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “If you want your marriage to be what you dreamed it would be when you said ‘I do,’ you can’t let greediness or selfishness take over.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “The more selfish you are, the less you realize it.” - Christina Dodson
• “Don’t fight selfishness with selfishness.” - Christina Dodson
• “Ask your spouse, ‘How are you perceiving me?’ and be prepared to listen and receive what your spouse says.” - Christina Dodson
• “There’s value in having a time each week to ask your spouse how they feel like you are treating them, and if there is anything you can be working on as a husband or wife to make your marriage better.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “The long term gain from being selfless is worth far more than any short term gains from being selfish.” - Christina Dodson
• “Commit to praying for your spouse everyday for 30 days as a way to learn to be selfless in your marriage.” - Christina Dodson

SPONSORS

• Thank you to Groove Life for sponsoring this podcast episode! Groove Life has the Groove ring that is the world's first breathable active ring that is not only super comfortable but functional. Born from need, GROOVE raises the bar on traditional silicone, activewear rings with its flexible material, patent-pending, inner breathable design, and beautiful colors. You can use the code “awesomemarriage” for 15% off your order! 

RESOURCES

• Brighten your marriage with our new resource 30 Gems of Wisdom For Your Marriage. This digital resource is an 18 page PDF that gives you 30 nuggets of God’s wisdom regarding your marriage. Get it today here! 
• Become a Marriage Changer and receive some sweet exclusive benefits. Learn more here!
• Sign up to get Dr. Kim’s One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day via email, text, or podcast here! 

Today we are kicking off a new series on the podcast: Top 10 Marriage Mistakes. As most of you know, Dr. Kim has been married for 50 years and has been a Marriage Counselor for over 40 years. Over the years he has seen some central mistakes couples make that hurt their marriage. We will be breaking down the top ten. 

Today is Marriage Mistake #10. Which is Temper Tantrums: Not Fighting Fair. Not fighting fair plays out in a lot of different ways. You may think you fight fair, but after listening to this it might give you some insight you didn’t have before about healthy conflict resolution. 

We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage.

Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode and get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox! 

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here! 

NOTEWORTHY QUOTES

• “I saw a quote on Facebook that said ‘Placing blame in marriage is like saying your side of the ship is sinking;’ we’re supposed to be one in marriage and placing blame on your spouse is not you operating as one.” - Christina Dodson
• “You can be prone to fighting unfairly in your marriage if you saw your parents do that; we forget that our parent’s marriages are our first textbooks on marriage.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Anytime a situation becomes ‘win/lose’ in your marriage, your marriage is losing.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “When you’re fighting unfairly it puts your marriage on pause; you can’t move forward to connect and grow closer to each other like you should be.” - Christina Dodson
• “If you can only think of negative things about your spouse that should be a huge red flag.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “What we are saying about our spouse in our heads matters so much.” - Christina Dodson
• “If you’re unable to get out of the habit of fighting unfairly, going to see a counselor who can give you goals and accountability is hugely beneficial.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Getting a divorce is a lot more expensive than seeing a marriage counselor.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Decide with your spouse what is unhealthy about how you fight and make boundaries that you both will agree to keep.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Standard boundaries that a couple should have in fighting is no yelling, cussing, or insults.” - Christina Dodson
• “If something is important to your spouse, make it important to you.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “If you don’t forgive someone it hurts you more than them.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling

SPONSORS

• Thank you to Groove Life for sponsoring this podcast episode! Groove Life has the Groove ring that is the world's first breathable active ring that is not only super comfortable but functional. Born from need, GROOVE raises the bar on traditional silicone, activewear rings with its flexible material, patent-pending, inner breathable design, and beautiful colors. You can use the code “awesomemarriage” for 15% off your order! 

RESOURCES

• Brighten your marriage with our new resource 30 Gems of Wisdom For Your Marriage. This digital resource is an 18 page PDF that gives you 30 nuggets of God’s wisdom regarding your marriage. Get it today here! 
• Become a Marriage Changer and receive some sweet exclusive benefits. Learn more here!
• Sign up to get Dr. Kim’s One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day via email, text, or podcast here! 

Today on the podcast we are celebrating! Because it’s episode number 400 and honestly we can’t believe it!

Everyone on the podcast team is so honored that you loyal listeners tune in each week. This podcast isn’t just work to us - it’s a true joy. We love hearing the stories from you about how these conversations start real and honest conversations between you and your spouse. 

That’s always been the hope of this podcast, that it wouldn’t end here but that this would just be a conversation starter in your marriage and that it would spark conversation and invoke action that would make your marriage awesome. 

We love journeying along with each of you! THANK YOU for listening! 

In this episode we are doing an “ask us anything” episode. We polled your questions and we are answering them here! Silly, serious, personal, or about marriage - we are answering it here! 

We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage. 

Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode and get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox! 

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here! 

NOTEWORTHY QUOTES

• “To me, our podcast is not sparkly, it’s just two people who are processing about their marriage and sharing what they’ve learned.” - Christina Dodson
• “That is Dr. Kim’s favorite verse, he loves to talk about being naked and unashamed.” - Christina Dodson
• “I’ve never had a counseling client who was serious about it and went into counseling with an open mind regret going to counseling.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “You will want your inlaws around your kids more if your relationship with your inlaws is good.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “If you set a boundary, make sure you are willing to follow through with the consequences.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling

SPONSORS

• Thank you to Honoring Intimates for sponsoring this podcast episode! Honoring Intimates is a safe place for believers to learn about marital sex and shop for the highest quality lubricant, lotions, and lingerie items at reasonable prices. There are no inappropriate images on the site and the company uses mannequins to display their lingerie. Use the code “AWESOMEMARRIAGE” to receive 20% off your entire order. 

RESOURCES:

• In this episode we talk about mother in law issues. Here are a few other podcasts you may find helpful if that’s an issue for you:

• What Do I Owe My In-Laws Ep 331

• Dealing With A Monster In Law Ep 332

• Ask Dr. Kim: Should my spouse handle all drama with their parents and extended family? Ep 101

• My loyalty should be with my family of origin because they raised me Ep 77

• Become a Marriage Changer and receive some sweet exclusive benefits. Learn more here!
• Sign up to get Dr. Kim’s One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day via email, text, or podcast here! 

Do you feel beaten down by your spouse? Does it feel like nothing you do is ever right or good enough for your spouse? Well you certainly aren’t alone. It can really wear on a marriage when one spouse is overly critical. In this episode Dr. Kim & Christina share about what to do when your spouse is critical. 

We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage. 

Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode and get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox! 

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here! 

NOTEWORTHY QUOTES

• “If it’s not normal for your spouse to be very critical of you, ask yourself what might be going on to make them act that way. “ - Christina Dodson
• “Use Stop, Look, Listen when communicating with your critical spouse.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “If you’re delivering criticism to your spouse, make sure you do it in a loving, grace-filled way that they will hear the heart behind what you’re saying.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Give your spouse time to process any criticism that you’ve given them.” - Christina Dodson
• “If my spouse has something critical that’s of value to say to me, I want her to be able to say it.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Before giving your spouse criticism, ask yourself three questions: ‘Should it be said? Should it be said by me? Should it be said now?” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “When giving your spouse feedback, don’t speak negatively. Speak to the potential that you see in them.” - Christina Dodson

SPONSORS

• Thank you to Honoring Intimates for sponsoring this podcast episode! Honoring Intimates is a safe place for believers to learn about marital sex and shop for the highest quality lubricant, lotions, and lingerie items at reasonable prices. There are no inappropriate images on the site and the company uses mannequins to display their lingerie. Use the code “AWESOMEMARRIAGE” to receive 20% off your entire order. 

RESOURCES

• Become a Marriage Changer and receive some sweet exclusive benefits. Learn more here!
• Sign up to get Dr. Kim’s One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day via email, text, or podcast here! 

It’s not all that uncommon to experience jealousy when our spouse succeeds OR to not celebrate them well in other ways. Dr. Kim & Christina dive into this topic and give practical advice for how to best handle your spouse’s success for the edifying of your marriage. 

We pray this episode is helpful to you and your marriage. 

Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode and get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox! 

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here! 

NOTEWORTHY QUOTES

• “Because you are a team as a married couple, your spouse’s success is your success.” - Christina Dodson
• “Ask God to help you celebrate your spouse’s successes.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Your spouse’s success does not equal your failure.” - Christina Dodson
• “Sometimes we really do appreciate our spouse we just forget to tell them that.” - Christina Dodson
• “We’re still a team in our marriage, even if we have different jobs and careers and wins. What happens in our relationship plays a big part in how successful we are.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “As a spouse, your words matter so much more to your spouse than anyone else’s.” - Christina Dodson
• “Never stop building up your spouse.” - Christina Dodson

SPONSORS

• Thank you to Honoring Intimates for sponsoring this podcast episode! Honoring Intimates is a safe place for believers to learn about marital sex and shop for the highest quality lubricant, lotions, and lingerie items at reasonable prices. There are no inappropriate images on the site and the company uses mannequins to display their lingerie. Use the code “AWESOMEMARRIAGE” to receive 20% off your entire order. 

RESOURCES

• Become a Marriage Changer and receive some sweet exclusive benefits. Learn more here!
• Sign up to get Dr. Kim’s One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day via email, text, or podcast here! 

God loves reconciliation! Praise be to God, there are a number of couples who experience life change after divorce happens and are able to reunite and reconcile their marriage again.

But starting a marriage again after the pain of divorce, naturally comes with a set of unique challenges. In this episode Dr. Kim shares some practical tips for walking through this.

If you are married and thinking about divorce, we urge you to check out our resource 10 Things To Do Before You Get A Divorce. 

If you are walking through reconciliation with your spouse, we are praying that God would show up in mighty ways for you as you reunite together. 

Even if this isn't your story, there is still some wisdom to glean from this episode.

Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode and get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox! 

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here! 

NOTEWORTHY QUOTES

• “You don’t get married just to get a divorce.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Even if you don’t reconcile after a divorce you have to forgive each other or you’ll carry that burden for a long time,” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “You can’t drag unforgiveness into your next marriage and expect it to be healthy, you just can’t.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “If you choose to reconcile after divorce and put God first, He will make that happen if you let Him.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “The healthiest marriages are when both people are healthy.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “We are all sinners and all have things we need to work on.” - Christina Dodson
• “It takes two to have an awesome marriage.” - Christina Dodson
• “Usually if you’re divorced there has been trust broken at some level.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “You have to talk about your expectations with your former spouse to make sure you are on the same page.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Seeing a counselor when you’re reconciling after divorce can provide invaluable accountability for you and your former spouse.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Make a game plan for re-engaging with other family members as a reconciled couple; it’s going to be an adjustment for everyone around you.” - Christina Dodson
• “Give reconciliation time. There is no shortcut to see if a person has changed” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “If you were in an abusive marriage and are seeking to reconcile but your spouse hasn’t gotten help for their abusive behavior, their intentions may be good but they are going to fall back into abusive behaviors.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling

SPONSORS

• Thank you to Honoring Intimates for sponsoring this podcast episode! Honoring Intimates is a safe place for believers to learn about marital sex and shop for the highest quality lubricant, lotions, and lingerie items at reasonable prices. There are no inappropriate images on the site and the company uses mannequins to display their lingerie. Use the code “AWESOMEMARRIAGE” to receive 20% off your entire order. 

RESOURCES

• 10 Things To Do Before You Get A Divorce
• Tiffany & Micah’s podcast
• Become a Marriage Changer and receive some sweet exclusive benefits. Learn more here!
• Sign up to get Dr. Kim’s One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day via email, text, or podcast here! 

Last episode we shared about the little things that make a marriage awesome. In this episode Dr. Kim & Christina talk about big romantic gestures, because they certainly have their place in marriage! Big romantic gestures can be great for a marriage when they are coupled with the little consistent things. 

This episode will give you some great ideas for valentines day around the corner and great tips for big anniversaries! 

Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode and get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox! 

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here! 

NOTEWORTHY QUOTES

• “A big romantic gesture can have the effect of supercharging your marriage.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Big romantic gestures are really good for celebrations in your marriage.” - Christina Dodson
• “Big romantic gestures are NOT good for fixing major issues in your marriage; they will NOT do that.” - Christina Dodson
• “Stay within your budget and be creative when planning big romantic gestures.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Don’t compare your big romantic gestures with anyone else; everyone’s marriage, budget and spouse is different.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “Commit to doing one big, romantic gesture a year.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling

SPONSORS

• Thank you to Honoring Intimates for sponsoring this podcast episode! Honoring Intimates is a safe place for believers to learn about marital sex and shop for the highest quality lubricant, lotions, and lingerie items at reasonable prices. There are no inappropriate images on the site and the company uses mannequins to display their lingerie. Use the code “AWESOMEMARRIAGE” to receive 20% off your entire order. 

RESOURCES

• Become a Marriage Changer and receive some sweet exclusive benefits. Learn more here!
• Sign up to get Dr. Kim’s One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day via email, text, or podcast here! 

We love romance and it’s easy to think that when your marriage is struggling or needs a boost - some big romantic gestures will fix it. But what makes a marriage awesome is not the big things, more often than not it’s the little things. The daily practices, the rhythms and routines we create as habits, the small things done over a consistent period of time that really make the difference in marriage. 

In this episode Dr. Kim & Christina talk about just that - the little things that make a marriage awesome. 

Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode and get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox! 

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here! 

NOTEWORTHY QUOTES

• “Letting our spouse know we’re thinking about them when they don’t think we’re thinking about them makes a difference.” - Dr. Kim Kimberling
• “The surprise connection points and planned consistent connection are the little things that really matter.” - Christina Dodson 
• “An important little thing is making time to do whatever your spouse loves.” - Christina Dodson
• “Love doesn’t have to be a dramatic gesture to be love. It has to be intentional and small daily practices.” - Christina Dodson
• “The little things you do in your marriage are like the foundation of a house; you can’t see it but if it begins to break the whole house is in trouble.” - Christina Dodson

SPONSORS

• Thank you to Honoring Intimates for sponsoring this podcast episode! Honoring Intimates is a safe place for believers to learn about marital sex and shop for the highest quality lubricant, lotions, and lingerie items at reasonable prices. There are no inappropriate images on the site and the company uses mannequins to display their lingerie. Use the code “AWESOMEMARRIAGE” to receive 20% off your entire order. 

RESOURCES

• Want to talk about sex?! Take our Love Making Survey to open up the way for you and your spouse to work towards better sex and intimacy in marriage! This month’s resource is our Love Making Survey and it is designed to help you have a safe, genuine conversation about your sex life with your spouse. This survey is a nonthreatening way to evaluate your sex together. The questions are designed to get you thinking about all aspects of your love making and to shed light on ways your sex could be more satisfying.
• Become a Marriage Changer and receive some sweet exclusive benefits. Learn more here!
• Sign up to get Dr. Kim’s One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day via email, text, or podcast here! 

In this episode Dr. Kim has 2 longtime friends of his here to share their story. This couple experienced the devastation of an affair with what looked like no hope for reconciliation - but God. God did something great and redeemed their story. 

We can’t wait for you to be encouraged and challenged by this couple’s story. Tune in to hear more! 

Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode and get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox! 

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here! 

NOTEWORTHY QUOTES

• “No one sets out to destroy their marriage.” - Arly
• “The affair was my solution to a deeper problem: my low self esteem and wrestling with who I was.” - Arly
• “I knew he was struggling with something, I just couldn’t get him to open up about what he was struggling with.” - Amber
• “When I found out about his affairs I felt like I was married to a complete stranger, like a didn’t know what reality was.” - Amber
• “I wanted to demonstrate to my kids that it’s ok to to put up boundaries with people you love who aren’t safe.” - Amber
• “I always said, ‘If Arly had an affair I would kick his butt to the curb and move on’ but when you actually find yourself in that situation and you have three kids and this history, it’s not an easy decision to make. I never judge anyone who is reacting from an affair.” - Amber
• “Setting those boundaries can be extremely scary but God will give you the strength and will remind you that you will be ok.” - Dr. Kim
• “The boundaries that Amber set helped me as the unfaithful spouse to wake up and realize how important my family was to me.” - Arly
• “We would not be together today had he not experienced healing and transformation on his own.” - Amber
• “It takes time to restore trust after an affair.” - Dr. Kim
• “Learning to trust him after the affairs was a process.” - Amber
• “He doesn’t put me in the position anymore of wondering where he is. He lets me know where he is and what is going on so I am not triggered and don’t have to wonder.” - Amber
• “An unfaithful spouse at some point has to believe that their betrayed spouse can handle the truth.” - Arly
• “It’s so powerful in our marriage when we realize that God made us different from each other for a reason.” - Dr. Kim
• “We didn’t want to keep things a secret from our kids. They knew the truth at a level that was appropriate for their age.” - Amber
• “I think the worst thing we could have done to our kids was to act like nothing was happening; they could feel the tension. Kids are incredibly resilient and this was an opportunity to show them how to suffer well.” - Amber
• “He had to rebuild his relationship with not only me but our kids as well.” - Amber
• “Setting boundaries is the only way to pull someone who is being unfaithful out of their fantasy world.” - Arly
• “The God who was healing my heart after this betrayal looked different than the God who I grew up with.” - Amber
• “Our marriage did not come back together until after we both took care of ourselves individually.” - Amber
• “Her healing process looked totally different from mine.” - Arly
• “There is something very powerful in marriage intensive weekends and times away because you can focus on something specific on your marriage together.” - Dr. Kim
• “We have learned to just enjoy each other’s presence and to live in the moment.” - Arly
• “Being intimate after an affair has taken place is awkward and complicated. You have to be patient and you have to stay at the comfort level of the spouse who was betrayed.” - Amber
• “There can be great healing and transformation in this process but you have to go through the dark parts to get to the light.” - Arly
• “I want couples to know just how good life can be on the other side.” - Amber

SPONSORS

• Thank you to Honoring Intimates for sponsoring this podcast episode! Honoring Intimates is a safe place for believers to learn about marital sex and shop for the highest quality lubricant, lotions, and lingerie items at reasonable prices. There are no inappropriate images on the site and the company uses mannequins to display their lingerie. Use the code “AWESOMEMARRIAGE” to receive 20% off your entire order. 

RESOURCES

• Affair Recovery (https://www.affairrecovery.com/), Arly attended Basecamp, a retreat affiliated with True North Ministries in Oklahoma: https://truenorth.live/basecamp/, Amber attended a retreat run by Changed Women’s Ministries, also in Oklahoma: https://www.changedokc.com/, together they attended a couple’s retreat run by Affair Recovery called Hope Rising: https://www.affairrecovery.com/hope-rising
• Want to talk about sex?! Take our Love Making Survey to open up the way for you and your spouse to work towards better sex and intimacy in marriage! This month’s resource is our Love Making Survey and it is designed to help you have a safe, genuine conversation about your sex life with your spouse. This survey is a nonthreatening way to evaluate your sex together. The questions are designed to get you thinking about all aspects of your love making and to shed light on ways your sex could be more satisfying.
• Become a Marriage Changer and receive some sweet exclusive benefits. Learn more here!
• Sign up to get Dr. Kim’s One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day via email, text, or podcast here! 

We are continuing our Enneagram Series with Beth McCord talking about How to Have A Thriving Relationship with an Enneagram 9. For the next several weeks Beth will be breaking down some real, practical tips for being married to each Enneagram number. 

If you are married to a 9 this is YOUR episode. But even if you aren’t married to a 9, we know you will find this episode helpful in learning more about your 9 friends. Part of loving people is knowing people. So use this series as a tool to know your people better, understand them deeper, and love them better. 

Beth McCord founded ‘Your Enneagram Coach’ and has been an Enneagram speaker, coach and teacher for over 17 years. She is seriously the best of the best so we are so blessed to have her share her time and expertise with us. 

Having been trained by the best Enneagram experts and pouring hundreds of hours into advanced certifications, Beth is leading the industry in simplifying the deep truths of the Enneagram from a Biblical perspective. Beth does one-on-one coaching, in-person events and workshops and online courses. She also offers training and support for those interested in becoming an Enneagram coach. So make sure you give her a follow on Instagram @yourennegramcoach and check out her website yourennegramcoach.com for more great info. 

We pray you enjoy learning more about 9s in this episode! 

Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode and get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox! 

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here! 

NOTEWORTHY QUOTES

• “Type 9s are the peacemakers: easy going, non-judgemental, they love harmony with others.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 9s are all able to see the viewpoints from all other personality types.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 9s avoid conflict and tension at all cost.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 9s core fear is being in any kind of conflict, tension or discord.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 9s desire to have inner stability and peace of mind.” - Beth McCord
• “Unhealthy Type 9s merge their needs, desires and wants with those around. They lose themselves just to go with the flow.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 9s just want everyone to be happy.” - Beth McCord
• “Because Type 9s can understand things from different perspectives they make excellent mediators.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 9s long to hear, ‘Your presence matters.’” - Beth McCord
• “Type 9s are excellent listeners.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 9s can struggle with knowing how to talk about their needs and wants in a direct way.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 9s have a hard time saying no because they’re afraid of displeasing people.” - Beth McCord
• “If you’re married to a Type 9, it’s important to let your spouse know that it’s ok to say no.” - Dr. Kim
• “It’s very painful for a Type 9 to be overlooked.” - Beth McCord
• “It’s important for a Type 9 to know how to set healthy boundaries with others so that they’re not taken advantage of.” - Beth McCord
• “Approach conflict with a Type 9 with gentleness, responsiveness, and patience. It may take them some time to figure out how they really feel about something.” - Beth McCord
• “Let your Type 9 know the good things that you see in them because they can’t see it in themselves.” - Beth McCord
• “Treating a Type 9 like they treat you will go a long way.” - Dr. Kim
• “Ask a Type 9 why they did what they did can help you understand them and can help them verbalize their motivations.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 9s are extremely stubborn, when they don’t want to do something, it ain’t happening.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 9s are extremely big hearted and they have a place in their heart for everyone.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 9s want everyone to be accepted and loved for who they are.” - Beth McCord

SPONSORS

• Thank you to Honoring Intimates for sponsoring this podcast episode! Honoring Intimates is a safe place for believers to learn about marital sex and shop for the highest quality lubricant, lotions, and lingerie items at reasonable prices. There are no inappropriate images on the site and the company uses mannequins to display their lingerie. Use the code “AWESOMEMARRIAGE” to receive 20% off your entire order. 

RESOURCES

• Find everything you need at becomingus.com! Including the course for YOUR marriage’s Enneagram combination. Beth & Jeff have a ‘Becoming Us Course’ for each couple type combination. That is 45 courses customized for each couple type combination. They go deeper into the “dance” (relational dynamics) and give you practical resources and insights to help transform your marriage. 
• Buy ‘Becoming Us’ today! 
• Not sure what your Enneagram Type is? You can take the free assessment here! Also be sure to take the FREE MARRIAGE ASSESSMENT here. 
• Learn more about each type with this FREE SUMMARY! 
• Check out more great insights by Beth on her blog. 
• Discover your Enneagram number with the Discovering You course. Already know your Enneagram Type? Then it’s time to take a deeper dive with the Explore You course. 
• You can get some one-on-one coaching with Your Enneagram Coach here. 
• Want to talk about sex?! Take our Love Making Survey to open up the way for you and your spouse to work towards better sex and intimacy in marriage! This month’s resource is our Love Making Survey and it is designed to help you have a safe, genuine conversation about your sex life with your spouse. This survey is a nonthreatening way to evaluate your sex together. The questions are designed to get you thinking about all aspects of your love making and to shed light on ways your sex could be more satisfying.
• Become a Marriage Changer and receive some sweet exclusive benefits. Learn more here!
• Sign up to get Dr. Kim’s One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day via email, text, or podcast here! 

We are continuing our Enneagram Series with Beth McCord talking about How to Have A Thriving Relationship with an Enneagram 8. For the next several weeks Beth will be breaking down some real, practical tips for being married to each Enneagram number. 

If you are married to a 8 this is YOUR episode. But even if you aren’t married to a 8, we know you will find this episode helpful in learning more about your 8 friends. Part of loving people is knowing people. So use this series as a tool to know your people better, understand them deeper, and love them better. 

Beth McCord founded ‘Your Enneagram Coach’ and has been an Enneagram speaker, coach and teacher for over 17 years. She is seriously the best of the best so we are so blessed to have her share her time and expertise with us. 

Having been trained by the best Enneagram experts and pouring hundreds of hours into advanced certifications, Beth is leading the industry in simplifying the deep truths of the Enneagram from a Biblical perspective. Beth does one-on-one coaching, in-person events and workshops and online courses. She also offers training and support for those interested in becoming an Enneagram coach. So make sure you give her a follow on Instagram @yourennegramcoach and check out her website yourennegramcoach.com for more great info. 

We pray you enjoy learning more about 8s in this episode! 

Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode and get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox! 

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here! 

NOTEWORTHY QUOTES

• “Type 8s are very decisive and have great leadership skills.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 8s move things forward and are powerful change agents in the world.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 8s are very intense, direct, and blunt.” - Beth McCord
• “A Type 8s core fear is to be weak, powerless, harmed, controlled, vulnerable, and left at the mercy of injustice.” - Beth McCord
• “A Type 8s core desire is to protect themselves and those in their inner circle.” - Beth McCord
• “A Type 8s inner circle of people is usually very small.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 8s can be described as a giant snowplow; their directness and intensity can be intimidating to those in the way of where they are trying to go.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 8s are extremely big-hearted and tender but they don’t always show it with a tough and blunt exterior.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 8s long to hear ‘You will not be betrayed.’” - Beth McCord
• “Type 8s are the most authentic on the enneagram; what you see is what you get.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 8s want their intensity to be met with intensity; they do not fear conflict.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 8s are confident under pressure, they can say what needs to be said when it needs to be said.” - Beth McCord
• “When Type 8s are not doing well they can be demanding, insensitive and quick to anger.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 8s do not like avoiding problems, they want to tackle them head on.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 8s do not like it when someone is not straightforward or trustworthy.” - Beth McCord
• “Honesty and straightforwardness are so important when you’re interacting with a Type 8.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 8s want to know that you have their back and your own back in an argument.” - Beth McCord
• “If you’re the spouse of a Type 8, it’s important that you never betray or blindside them, so you need to be very careful in who you approach in getting help for your relationship.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 8s want to know that you’re able to be vulnerable and open with them.” - Beth McCord
• “When your Type 8 opens up to you emotionally, recognize that that is a big deal.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 8s defensive mechanism is denial.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 8s have no problem putting themselves in harm's way to protect those that are at the mercy of injustice.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 8s tend to know how people are gifted and they know how to put them in positions where they will succeed.” - Beth McCord

SPONSORS

• Thank you to Honoring Intimates for sponsoring this podcast episode! Honoring Intimates is a safe place for believers to learn about marital sex and shop for the highest quality lubricant, lotions, and lingerie items at reasonable prices. There are no inappropriate images on the site and the company uses mannequins to display their lingerie. Use the code “AWESOMEMARRIAGE” to receive 20% off your entire order. 

RESOURCES

• Find everything you need at becomingus.com! Including the course for YOUR marriage’s Enneagram combination. Beth & Jeff have a ‘Becoming Us Course’ for each couple type combination. That is 45 courses customized for each couple type combination. They go deeper into the “dance” (relational dynamics) and give you practical resources and insights to help transform your marriage. 
• Buy ‘Becoming Us’ today! 
• Not sure what your Enneagram Type is? You can take the free assessment here! Also be sure to take the FREE MARRIAGE ASSESSMENT here. 
• Learn more about each type with this FREE SUMMARY! 
• Check out more great insights by Beth on her blog. 
• Discover your Enneagram number with the Discovering You course. Already know your Enneagram Type? Then it’s time to take a deeper dive with the Explore You course. 
• You can get some one-on-one coaching with Your Enneagram Coach here. 
• Want to talk about sex?! Take our Love Making Survey to open up the way for you and your spouse to work towards better sex and intimacy in marriage! This month’s resource is our Love Making Survey and it is designed to help you have a safe, genuine conversation about your sex life with your spouse. This survey is a nonthreatening way to evaluate your sex together. The questions are designed to get you thinking about all aspects of your love making and to shed light on ways your sex could be more satisfying.
• Become a Marriage Changer and receive some sweet exclusive benefits. Learn more here!
• Sign up to get Dr. Kim’s One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day via email, text, or podcast here! 

We are continuing our Enneagram Series with Beth McCord talking about How to Have A Thriving Relationship with an Enneagram 7. For the next several weeks Beth will be breaking down some real, practical tips for being married to each Enneagram number. 

If you are married to a 7 this is YOUR episode. But even if you aren’t married to a 7, we know you will find this episode helpful in learning more about your 7 friends. Part of loving people is knowing people. So use this series as a tool to know your people better, understand them deeper, and love them better. 

Beth McCord founded ‘Your Enneagram Coach’ and has been an Enneagram speaker, coach and teacher for over 17 years. She is seriously the best of the best so we are so blessed to have her share her time and expertise with us. 

Having been trained by the best Enneagram experts and pouring hundreds of hours into advanced certifications, Beth is leading the industry in simplifying the deep truths of the Enneagram from a Biblical perspective. Beth does one-on-one coaching, in-person events and workshops and online courses. She also offers training and support for those interested in becoming an Enneagram coach. So make sure you give her a follow on Instagram @yourennegramcoach and check out her website yourennegramcoach.com for more great info. 

We pray you enjoy learning more about 7s in this episode! 

Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode and get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox! 

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here! 

NOTEWORTHY QUOTES

• “The core fear of a Type 7 is being deprived, trapped in emotional pain, bored, or missing out on something fun.” - Beth McCord
• “The core weakness for a Type 7 is gluttony: the feeling that they have a great emptiness inside and they have an insatiable desire to fill themselves up with experiences and stimulation in hopes of feeling completely satisfied and content.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 7s long to hear, ‘You will be taken care of.’” - Beth McCord
• “Type 7s love rich and deep relationships.” - Beth McCord
• “It can bother a Type 7 when they feel like people don’t take them seriously.” - Beth McCord
• “When Type 7s are doing well they speak in a fun, lively, upbeat and optimistic way.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 7s loathe mundane and boring tasks.” - Beth McCord
• “It is difficult for the Type 7s to focus exclusively on serious things.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 7s defense mechanism is reframing; to take whatever is negative and turn it into a positive.” - Beth McCord
• “Because people are so used to the Type 7 being positive and upbeat all the time, it might be hard for the Type 7 to let people know that they are wanting to be serious about something.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 7s have the gift of seeing the positive in a negative situation.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 7s bring a new and fresh outlook to any given situation.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 7s are very resilient people, it’s hard to keep a Type 7 down.” - Beth McCord
• “One thing that I saw before I knew about the enneagram was how so many successful couples embraced each other’s differences and appreciated learning more about their spouse.” - Dr. Kim
• “Type 7s love to enjoy and share stimulating conversation, laughter, fun, and spontaneous activities whenever possible.” - Beth McCord
• “Realize that Type 7s dislike the mundane and boring so ask them, ‘how can we make this fun?’” - Beth McCord
• “Try to approach conflict with a Type 7 with positivity, ideas, and affirmations.” - Beth McCord
• “Try to resolve conflict with a Type 7 in an interesting way: take a walk, eat at a fun restaurant, etc.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 7s have an optimistic creativity.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 7s can bring joy and positivity to heavy and dark situations that we all need.” - Beth McCord

SPONSORS

• Thank you to Honoring Intimates for sponsoring this podcast episode! Honoring Intimates is a safe place for believers to learn about marital sex and shop for the highest quality lubricant, lotions, and lingerie items at reasonable prices. There are no inappropriate images on the site and the company uses mannequins to display their lingerie. Use the code “AWESOMEMARRIAGE” to receive 20% off your entire order. 

RESOURCES

• Find everything you need at becomingus.com! Including the course for YOUR marriage’s Enneagram combination. Beth & Jeff have a ‘Becoming Us Course’ for each couple type combination. That is 45 courses customized for each couple type combination. They go deeper into the “dance” (relational dynamics) and give you practical resources and insights to help transform your marriage. 
• Buy ‘Becoming Us’ today! 
• Not sure what your Enneagram Type is? You can take the free assessment here! Also be sure to take the FREE MARRIAGE ASSESSMENT here. 
• Learn more about each type with this FREE SUMMARY! 
• Check out more great insights by Beth on her blog. 
• Discover your Enneagram number with the Discovering You course. Already know your Enneagram Type? Then it’s time to take a deeper dive with the Explore You course. 
• You can get some one-on-one coaching with Your Enneagram Coach here. 
• Want to talk about sex?! Take our Love Making Survey to open up the way for you and your spouse to work towards better sex and intimacy in marriage! This month’s resource is our Love Making Survey and it is designed to help you have a safe, genuine conversation about your sex life with your spouse. This survey is a nonthreatening way to evaluate your sex together. The questions are designed to get you thinking about all aspects of your love making and to shed light on ways your sex could be more satisfying.
• Become a Marriage Changer and receive some sweet exclusive benefits. Learn more here!
• Sign up to get Dr. Kim’s One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day via email, text, or podcast here! 

We are continuing our Enneagram Series with Beth McCord talking about How to Have A Thriving Relationship with an Enneagram 6. For the next several weeks Beth will be breaking down some real, practical tips for being married to each Enneagram number. 

If you are married to a 6 this is YOUR episode. But even if you aren’t married to a 6, we know you will find this episode helpful in learning more about your 6 friends. Part of loving people is knowing people. So use this series as a tool to know your people better, understand them deeper, and love them better. 

Beth McCord founded ‘Your Enneagram Coach’ and has been an Enneagram speaker, coach and teacher for over 17 years. She is seriously the best of the best so we are so blessed to have her share her time and expertise with us. 

Having been trained by the best Enneagram experts and pouring hundreds of hours into advanced certifications, Beth is leading the industry in simplifying the deep truths of the Enneagram from a Biblical perspective. Beth does one-on-one coaching, in-person events and workshops and online courses. She also offers training and support for those interested in becoming an Enneagram coach. So make sure you give her a follow on Instagram @yourennegramcoach and check out her website yourennegramcoach.com for more great info. 

We pray you enjoy learning more about 6s in this episode! 

Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode and get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox! 

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here! 

NOTEWORTHY QUOTES

• “Type 6s are reliable, hardworking, dutiful, and very steady people to be around.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 6s can foresee problems that might be coming and they’re fiercely loyal to those that they love.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 6s do really well with groups; they want the best for everyone.” - Beth McCord
• “The core fear of a Type 6 is fear itself, being without support or security.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 6s core weakness is anxiety.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 6s are constantly scanning the horizon of life trying to predict and prevent negative outcomes, especially worst case scenarios.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 6s can stay in a constant state of apprehension and worry.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 6s don’t have an inner critic, they have an inner committee that is constantly telling them all the outcomes to a situation.” - Beth McCord
• “The core longing of a Type 6 is to hear ‘You are safe and secure.’” - Beth McCord
• “There’s a wide range of different types of Type 6s, it’s a complex personality type.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 6s have so much good discernment, they just don’t trust it.” - Beth McCord
• “A healthy Type 6 has an amazing sense of humor, is witty, and engages in great conversations.” - Beth McCord
• “When a Type 6 is struggling they can be over-reactive, anxious, skeptical, and suspicious.” - Beth McCord
• “Have patience and kindness when communicating with a Type 6 and strive for clarity.” - Beth McCord
• “Know when you’re communicating with a Type 6 the more ambiguous and unclear you are the more they fear that something bad is happening.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 6s are always thinking; their mind does not stop.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 6s need time to process and seek advice before making a decision so it can be difficult to put a Type 6 under pressure.” - Beth McCord
• “If a Type 6 sees someone not being genuine or honest, that can really set them off.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 6s can smell someone who is fake from a mile away.” - Beth McCord
• “Being lied to or the possibility of being abandoned will set a Type 6 off.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 6s are immediately going to think of the worst case scenario.” - Beth McCord
• “If you’re in a relationship with a Type 6, try to realize that they could spin out at any moment at any time from anything, so the more clarity you can bring to a situation, the better.” - Beth McCord
• “Knowing your personality type and knowing how you best can bring clarity to a conflict situation with a Type 6 is super helpful.” - Beth McCord
• “Listen to your Type 6; don’t judge them for their anxiety and fears.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 6s want to know that their spouse is a safe place for them to share their inner fears and anxieties without being judged.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 6s are the glue of society; they are loyal, committed, and keep us together.” - Beth McCord

SPONSORS

• Thank you to Honoring Intimates for sponsoring this podcast episode! Honoring Intimates is a safe place for believers to learn about marital sex and shop for the highest quality lubricant, lotions, and lingerie items at reasonable prices. There are no inappropriate images on the site and the company uses mannequins to display their lingerie. Use the code “AWESOMEMARRIAGE” to receive 20% off your entire order. 

RESOURCES

• Find everything you need at becomingus.com! Including the course for YOUR marriage’s Enneagram combination. Beth & Jeff have a ‘Becoming Us Course’ for each couple type combination. That is 45 courses customized for each couple type combination. They go deeper into the “dance” (relational dynamics) and give you practical resources and insights to help transform your marriage. 
• Buy ‘Becoming Us’ today! 
• Not sure what your Enneagram Type is? You can take the free assessment here! Also be sure to take the FREE MARRIAGE ASSESSMENT here. 
• Learn more about each type with this FREE SUMMARY! 
• Check out more great insights by Beth on her blog. 
• Discover your Enneagram number with the Discovering You course. Already know your Enneagram Type? Then it’s time to take a deeper dive with the Explore You course. 
• You can get some one-on-one coaching with Your Enneagram Coach here. 
• Want to talk about sex?! Take our Love Making Survey to open up the way for you and your spouse to work towards better sex and intimacy in marriage! This month’s resource is our Love Making Survey and it is designed to help you have a safe, genuine conversation about your sex life with your spouse. This survey is a nonthreatening way to evaluate your sex together. The questions are designed to get you thinking about all aspects of your love making and to shed light on ways your sex could be more satisfying.
• Become a Marriage Changer and receive some sweet exclusive benefits. Learn more here!
• Sign up to get Dr. Kim’s One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day via email, text, or podcast here! 

We are continuing our Enneagram Series with Beth McCord talking about How to Have A Thriving Relationship with an Enneagram 5. For the next several weeks Beth will be breaking down some real, practical tips for being married to each Enneagram number. 

If you are married to a 5 this is YOUR episode. But even if you aren’t married to a 5, we know you will find this episode helpful in learning more about your 5 friends. Part of loving people is knowing people. So use this series as a tool to know your people better, understand them deeper, and love them better. 

Beth McCord founded ‘Your Enneagram Coach’ and has been an Enneagram speaker, coach and teacher for over 17 years. She is seriously the best of the best so we are so blessed to have her share her time and expertise with us. 

Having been trained by the best Enneagram experts and pouring hundreds of hours into advanced certifications, Beth is leading the industry in simplifying the deep truths of the Enneagram from a Biblical perspective. Beth does one-on-one coaching, in-person events and workshops and online courses. She also offers training and support for those interested in becoming an Enneagram coach. So make sure you give her a follow on Instagram @yourennegramcoach and check out her website yourennegramcoach.com for more great info. 

We pray you enjoy learning more about 5s in this episode! 

Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode and get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox! 

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here! 

NOTEWORTHY QUOTES

• “The enneagram is a helpful tool but it’s just a tool. The Gospel is what drives the transformational process in our lives.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 5s see the world as an overwhelming and intrusive place.” - Beth McCord
• “A Type 5s core fear is of being annihilated, invaded, and being thought of as incapable or ignorant.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 5s desire to have knowledge, insights, to be capable, and to be confident.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 5s core weakness is avarice; holding onto their mental resources and avoiding draining themselves from too much contact with others.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 5s wake up with about 25% of interactive energy (energy needed to interact with people) for the whole day; they need to ration out this energy throughout the day.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 5s usually don’t enjoy surprises and intrusions.” - Beth McCord
• “You can come alongside a Type 5 as a spouse by helping them plan out how they use the interactive energy they have.” - Beth McCord
• “It’s so important for us to view life through the lens of our spouse so we can have compassion, grace, and empathy towards them.” - Beth McCord
• “A lot of people misunderstand Type 5s because they think they’re being cold and detached but they’re probably acting that way because they’re feeling overwhelmed.” - Beth McCord
• “When a Type 5 is doing well they’re going to be very respectful, non-intrusive, very curious and observant; Type 5s are the best observers on the Enneagram.” - Beth McCord
• “When a Type 5 is not doing well they communicate very briefly, and come off as cold and arrogant.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 5s like to know a lot about specialized areas.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 5s want straight forward conversation. They’re not usually looking for long, drawn out, emotional dialogue.” -  Beth McCord
• “The longer you talk with a Type 5 the more you’re draining their interactive energy resources; it’s helpful to find out how much energy your Type 5 has and spread out conversations so you’re not draining all of their energy in one long conversation.” - Beth McCord
• “Give your Type 5 a warning if you want to talk about something so they have time to process.” - Beth McCord
• “If a Type 5 doesn’t feel like they have enough knowledge about something, they’re probably going to be silent as they process and think internally.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 5s like to go deep in a conversation, they do not enjoy small talk.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 5s are one of the most misunderstood on the enneagram because they are more secretive and private than the other types.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 5s are very sensitive and emotional people, they just don’t always bring it to the forefront and show that to outwardly.” - Beth McCord
• “It can be helpful to go on a walk with a Type 5 because they tend to process and think better when doing a physical activity.” - Beth McCord
• “God gave us marriages as one of the main ways that we can grow in this life.” - Dr. Kim
• “There is no perfect enneagram type combination in a marriage; all are beautiful.” - Beth McCord
• “It can be helpful to plan with your Type 5 what time each day they will have to be on their own and uninterrupted to recharge.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 5s can compartmentalize their lives and only share certain parts of their lives with certain people.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 5s love to mentally take things apart and innovatively put them back together in a new way.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 5s can stay focused on one subject for a long amount of time.” - Beth McCord

SPONSORS

• Thank you to Honoring Intimates for sponsoring this podcast episode! Honoring Intimates is a safe place for believers to learn about marital sex and shop for the highest quality lubricant, lotions, and lingerie items at reasonable prices. There are no inappropriate images on the site and the company uses mannequins to display their lingerie. Use the code “AWESOMEMARRIAGE” to receive 20% off your entire order. 

RESOURCES

• Find everything you need at becomingus.com! Including the course for YOUR marriage’s Enneagram combination. Beth & Jeff have a ‘Becoming Us Course’ for each couple type combination. That is 45 courses customized for each couple type combination. They go deeper into the “dance” (relational dynamics) and give you practical resources and insights to help transform your marriage. 
• Buy ‘Becoming Us’ today! 
• Not sure what your Enneagram Type is? You can take the free assessment here! Also be sure to take the FREE MARRIAGE ASSESSMENT here. 
• Learn more about each type with this FREE SUMMARY! 
• Check out more great insights by Beth on her blog. 
• Discover your Enneagram number with the Discovering You course. Already know your Enneagram Type? Then it’s time to take a deeper dive with the Explore You course. 
• You can get some one-on-one coaching with Your Enneagram Coach here. 
• Want to talk about sex?! Take our Love Making Survey to open up the way for you and your spouse to work towards better sex and intimacy in marriage! This month’s resource is our Love Making Survey and it is designed to help you have a safe, genuine conversation about your sex life with your spouse. This survey is a nonthreatening way to evaluate your sex together. The questions are designed to get you thinking about all aspects of your love making and to shed light on ways your sex could be more satisfying.
• Become a Marriage Changer and receive some sweet exclusive benefits. Learn more here!
• Sign up to get Dr. Kim’s One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day via email, text, or podcast here! 

We are continuing our Enneagram Series with Beth McCord talking about How to Have A Thriving Relationship with an Enneagram 4. For the next several weeks Beth will be breaking down some real, practical tips for being married to each Enneagram number. 

If you are married to a 4 this is YOUR episode. But even if you aren’t married to a 4, we know you will find this episode helpful in learning more about your 4 friends. Part of loving people is knowing people. So use this series as a tool to know your people better, understand them deeper, and love them better. 

Beth McCord founded ‘Your Enneagram Coach’ and has been an Enneagram speaker, coach and teacher for over 17 years. She is seriously the best of the best so we are so blessed to have her share her time and expertise with us. 

Having been trained by the best Enneagram experts and pouring hundreds of hours into advanced certifications, Beth is leading the industry in simplifying the deep truths of the Enneagram from a Biblical perspective. Beth does one-on-one coaching, in-person events and workshops and online courses. She also offers training and support for those interested in becoming an Enneagram coach. So make sure you give her a follow on Instagram @yourennegramcoach and check out her website yourennegramcoach.com for more great info. 

We pray you enjoy learning more about 4s in this episode! 

Subscribe to Podcast Email to make sure you never miss an episode and get noteworthy quotes, resources, and more delivered straight to your inbox! 

*Music for this podcast is created by Noah Copeland. Check him out here! 

NOTEWORTHY QUOTES

• “The core fear for a Type 4 is fear of being inadequate, ordinary, or insignificant.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 4s desire to be unique, special, and to present that uniqueness to the world.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 4s feel like there is something tragically missing or flawed about them and others can’t love them unless they’re whole and complete.” - Beth v
• “Type 4s struggle with envy.” - Beth McCord
• “The core longing of a Type 4 is to hear ‘you are loved and seen for the special and unique person that you are.’” - Beth McCord
• “Type 4s often feel misunderstood and like there’s something wrong with them.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 4s are very empathetic and great listeners, especially to those who are suffering.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 4s experience all of the emotions and it’s important to them that they know what they are feeling.” - Beth McCord
• “If a Type 4 is struggling, their emotions can overwhelm them like a tsunami. This can lead them to be moody and explosive or cold and detached.” - Beth McCord
• “The melancholy of Type 4s is often called the sweet sadness of the soul.” - Beth McCord
• “Never ask a Type 4 to act like something they’re not.” - Beth McCord
• “A lot of Type 4s stay off of social media because it is hard for them to not envy what others have.” - Beth McCord
• “It is very hard for a Type 4s contributions and view points to not be valued.” - Beth McCord
• “When in conflict with a Type 4, do not ask them why they are being so emotional.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 4s want to express themselves, they don’t want you to fix the problem unless they ask for that specifically.” - Beth McCord
• “Let your Type 4 express their emotions and process them in a safe environment.” - Beth McCord
• “Don’t tell your Type 4 that they’re too sensitive or that they’re overreacting.” - Beth McCord
• “The message that Type 4s got as a child or were hardwired with is that they are either too much or not enough.” - Beth McCord
• “Whatever a Type 4 thinks another person is feeling they will interpret as actually being true.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 4s can be reactive and withdrawing in conflict.” - Beth McCord
• “Ask your Type 4 to help you understand what they are thinking and feeling.” - Beth McCord
• “We all need to ask clarifying questions of those we love, we can’t assume we know what they’re thinking and feeling.” - Beth McCord
• “You might not understand exactly what your Type 4 is feeling but you do understand fear and sorrow and that can help you empathize with them.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 4s are self aware, introspective and creative.” - Beth McCord
• “Type 4s find beauty in the fact that God created everyone differently.” - Beth McCord

SPONSORS

• Thank you to Honoring Intimates for sponsoring this podcast episode! Honoring Intimates is a safe place for believers to learn about marital sex and shop for the highest quality lubricant, lotions, and lingerie items at reasonable prices. There are no inappropriate images on the site and the company uses mannequins to display their lingerie. Use the code “AWESOMEMARRIAGE” to receive 20% off your entire order. 

RESOURCES

• Find everything you need at becomingus.com! Including the course for YOUR marriage’s Enneagram combination. Beth & Jeff have a ‘Becoming Us Course’ for each couple type combination. That is 45 courses customized for each couple type combination. They go deeper into the “dance” (relational dynamics) and give you practical resources and insights to help transform your marriage. 
• Buy ‘Becoming Us’ today! 
• Not sure what your Enneagram Type is? You can take the free assessment here! Also be sure to take the FREE MARRIAGE ASSESSMENT here. 
• Learn more about each type with this FREE SUMMARY! 
• Check out more great insights by Beth on her blog. 
• Discover your Enneagram number with the Discovering You course. Already know your Enneagram Type? Then it’s time to take a deeper dive with the Explore You course. 
• You can get some one-on-one coaching with Your Enneagram Coach here. 
• Want to talk about sex?! Take our Love Making Survey to open up the way for you and your spouse to work towards better sex and intimacy in marriage! This month’s resource is our Love Making Survey and it is designed to help you have a safe, genuine conversation about your sex life with your spouse. This survey is a nonthreatening way to evaluate your sex together. The questions are designed to get you thinking about all aspects of your love making and to shed light on ways your sex could be more satisfying.
• Become a Marriage Changer and receive some sweet exclusive benefits. Learn more here!
• Sign up to get Dr. Kim’s One Thing To Grow Your Marriage Each Day via email, text, or podcast here!