We are doing a series on the Top 8 Marriage Issues in 2019. These 8 issues are the top 8 issues that Dr. Kim has seen this year with marriages. We will be breaking them down starting with #8 and working our way towards the #1 marriage issue.
In this episode Dr. Kim & Christina talk about the 3rd biggest issue in marriages this year which is: values and beliefs.
Our value system and belief system is foundational to all our other opinions and actions in life. So when a couple isn’t on the same page, it can naturally cause many issues.
In this episode Dr. Kim and Christina share about values and beliefs in marriage and how to cope when you and your spouse aren’t on the same page.
NOTEWORTHY QUOTES
“If your spouse doesn’t agree with you on something it can be helpful to rate how important something is to you on a 1 to 10 scale to help your spouse understand how important (less important) something is to you.” - Christina
“Find the hot button topics in your marriage and agree on how to talk about them or agree to disagree with each other if that’s healthier for your marriage.” - Christina
“There are some things in marriage it is absolutely ok to compromise on; one thing you should not do is allow compromise with your spouse to cause you or them to sin.” - Christina
“If you aren’t married yet, be prayerful before going into marriage with someone who’s values and beliefs are much different than your own.” - Dr. Kim
“Pray and ask God for wisdom on how to handle conflict in your marriage in a way that honors Him and honors the vows you made to your spouse, and let Him lead you through it.” - Dr. Kim
“God will sometimes give you more than you can handle so that you turn to Him for help.” - Dr. Kim
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We are doing a series on the Top 8 Marriage Issues in 2019. These 8 issues are the top 8 issues that Dr. Kim has seen this year with marriages. We will be breaking them down starting with #8 and working our way towards the #1 marriage issue.
In this episode Dr. Kim and Christina talk about the 4th biggest issue in marriages this year which is: life stages
We all go through different life stages. One thing is for sure, life does not stay the same. But will we adjust as life goes on? Or will we not adjust?
Our marriage needs to grow and adjust in every new life stage.
In this episode Dr. Kim and Christina share about how to adjust to life stages and keep your marriage strong over the test of time and life’s changes.
NOTEWORTHY QUOTES
“The things you do to connect and have a good marriage will change throughout your marriage.” - Dr. Kim
“There’s value to being and living in the present.” - Christina
“What does it look like to be fruitful where you are right now in life?” - Christina
“As long as you’re on this earth God has a plan and a purpose for you and for your marriage.” - Dr. Kim
“If you talk about it with your spouse then you can plan for it.” - Christina
“If your marriage isn’t growing in each stage of life, that should be a red flag that you need to do something different.” - Dr. Kim
“Don’t let your stage of life define you, you are more than where you are currently at in life.” - Christina
“If your spouse is struggling with adjusting to a new phase of life, come alongside them and let them grieve the loss of the previous season if they need to.” - Dr. Kim
“Find a mentor couple who is ahead of you in life to learn from.” - Christina
“You’ll need to learn to say no to different things in different life stages.” - Dr. Kim
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We are doing a series on the Top 8 Marriage Issues in 2019. These 8 issues are the top 8 issues that Dr. Kim has seen this year with marriages. We will be breaking them down starting with #8 and working our way towards the #1 marriage issue.
In this episode Dr. Kim and Christina talk about the 5th biggest issue in marriages this year which is: traumatic situations.
Because we live in a broken and fallen world, so many couples end up facing traumatic situations. Death of a child, abuse, suicide of someone close to you, assault, a life-changing diagnosis, war, natural disaster, the list goes on. Often times when faced with traumatic situations, naturally, couples struggle to cope and many end up losing their marriage over it. But does a life changing event have to mean the end of your marriage?
Dr. Kim has walked alongside countless couples through life-changing events. A traumatic situation does not have to mean the end of your marriage.
In this episode Dr. Kim and Christina share about how to cope with life-altering and traumatic situations in a way that builds up your marriage instead of tearing it down.
NOTEWORTHY QUOTES
“A traumatic situation is anytime life goes differently than we thought it would.” - Dr. Kim
“Your grief might look different from your spouse’s grief and that’s ok.” - Dr. Kim
“Nobody can’t define what grief looks like for you.” - Dr. Kim
“Allow your spouse to express whatever emotions they feel when they’re grieving.” - Dr. Kim
“Put God in the middle of your grief.” - Dr. Kim
“Be present with your spouse when they’re grieving, don’t put pressure on yourself to say the right thing, your presence alone will help them.” - Dr. Kim
“Be honest when you’re communicating with your spouse about your grief.” - Christina
“Blaming is not going to heal anything.” - Dr. Kim
“After a life-altering event you have to find a new normal.” - Christina
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We are doing a series on the Top 8 Marriage Issues in 2019. These 8 issues are the top 8 issues that Dr. Kim has seen this year with marriages. We will be breaking them down starting with #8 and working our way towards the #1 marriage issue.
In this episode Dr. Kim & Christina talk about the 6th biggest issue in marriages this year which is: stress.
So many of us deal with stress on a regular basis. Being stressed out makes it hard to be a good spouse. It’s hard to be intentional in your marriage or really even focus on your marriage at all when you are consumed with stress. It’s bad for our health and our mental space. Stress piles negative emotions on to our marriage and steals joy.
In this episode Dr. Kim and Christina talk about what stress does to marriages and how to deal with stress in a healthy way as well as some tips to help you eliminate any unnecessary stress in your life.
NOTEWORTHY QUOTES
“People died of diarrhea back then.” - Dr. Kim
“Deciding what you can and can’t do something about can help you be realistic about what you’re stressed about.” - Christina
“If there is nothing that you can do about something, the best (but not always easiest) thing to do is pray about it and leave it in God’s hands.” - Dr. Kim
“Our emotions are good indicators but they’re not good truth tellers.” - Christina
“Ask your spouse to come alongside you and help you deal with your stress.” - Dr. Kim
“Take the time to empathize with your spouse when they’re stressed.” - Dr. Kim
“To the moms: the best thing you can do for your kids is to take care of yourself.” - Christina
“Don’t buy into the lie that stress is just the way you are; there’s an answer to stress.” - Dr. Kim
“God gave you a spouse to walk through life with, don’t push your spouse away in times of stress, embrace them.” - Dr. Kim
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For the next few weeks on the podcast we are doing a series on the Top 8 Marriage Issues in 2019. These 8 issues are the top 8 issues that Dr. Kim has seen this year with marriages. We will be breaking them down starting with #8 and working our way towards the #1 marriage issue.
In this episode Dr. Kim & Christina talk about the 7th biggest issue in marriages this year which is: boredom.
With time, some spouse’s become bored with their relationship. Boredom in marriage is a dangerous thing to dwell on and can easily slip into even bigger issues.
It also doesn’t help that our culture is telling us that monogamy and marriage is boring. But marriage does NOT have to be boring. There are real, practical things you can do to keep boredom at bay and protect your marriage from boredom.
NOTEWORTHY QUOTES
“Connection = Zero Boredom in marriage.” - Dr. Kim
“You don’t have to be screaming and yelling and throwing things at each other for you to go to marriage counseling.” - Christina
“Boredom can happen if we’re not intentional about giving to our marriage as much as we’re taking from it.” - Dr. Kim
“Be intentional about having fun with each other, even when life gets busy; remember there’s something that got you to the altar in the first place.” - Dr. Kim
“Find creative questions to ask each other.” - Christina
“There are going to be times you get bored in your marriage, it’s about recognizing when that’s happening and committing to reconnecting so you don’t stay bored and disconnected.” - Dr. Kim
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For the next few weeks on the podcast we are doing a series on the Top 8 Marriage Issues in 2019. These 8 issues are the top 8 issues that Dr. Kim has seen this year with marriages in the counseling room. We will be breaking them down starting with number 8 and working our way towards the number 1 marriage issue in 2019.
Today we are kicking off the series with talking about the 8th biggest issue in marriages this year which is: jealousy.
Jealousy puts a real strain on your marriage. When you have jealous feelings it affects you, your spouse, and your marriage. In this episode Dr. Kim and Christina talk about this issue and how to deal with it in a healthy way.
You may think jealousy isn’t a struggle for you, but there are some subtle ways this often plays out that doesn’t always get noticed and addressed.
NOTEWORTHY QUOTES
“A lot of times jealousy can be tied to insecurity or discontentment.” - Christina
“Paul in the Bible is a great example of being content with whatever he had and whatever situation he was in.” - Dr. Kim
“You can get so consumed with jealousy that you neglect your marriage.” - Dr. Kim
“Jealousy affects your ability to be present in your marriage.” - Christina
“If you are willing to be honest with yourself and why you’re jealous, these jealous feelings can be an opportunity for God to grow and teach you.” - Christina
“You have to run your race, you can’t run someone else’s race.” - Christina
“If your spouse is struggling with jealousy, it gives you an opportunity to come alongside them and help them work through those feelings.” - Dr. Kim
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Can we implement boundaries with our spouse? Is it loving? Is it Christ-centered?
Boundaries in marriage may seem counterintuitive to some, but we believe it should be normal and natural in a marriage.
In this episode, Dr. Kim and Christina share about boundaries with your spouse: why you need them, examples of what they might be, and how to implement them. If you have never thought about boundaries with your spouse, we hope this conversation is helpful to you and that it provides you with some great talking points that you and your spouse can explore as you work to have a healthier, happier, holier marriage.
NOTEWORTHY QUOTES
“You can help your spouse see that they might need to set a boundary with someone by asking them questions.” - Dr. Kim
“You can encourage your spouse to learn about boundaries but also be willing to walk with them through what that will look like.” - Christina
“Always offer your thoughts on your spouse’s situation as a suggestion, not as a solution to their problem.” - Dr. Kim
“You might need to set a boundary with someone if you’re taking on their consequences.” - Christina
“If you’ve never set boundaries before start setting them in safe places first.” - Christina
“Remember that if someone doesn’t respond to the boundaries that you set in a healthy way, you can only control yourself, you can’t control how they will react.” - Dr. Kim
“It sounds silly but role playing setting boundaries with your spouse can be really helpful for them to prepare for those hard conversations.” - Christina
“Let your spouse know that you are not going to stop loving them if they set a healthy boundary with you.” - Christina
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Can we implement boundaries with our spouse? Is it loving? Is it Christ-centered?
Boundaries in marriage may seem counterintuitive to some, but we believe it should be normal and natural in a marriage.
In this episode, Dr. Kim and Christina share about boundaries with your spouse: why you need them, examples of what they might be, and how to implement them. If you have never thought about boundaries with your spouse, we hope this conversation is helpful to you and that it provides you with some great talking points that you and your spouse can explore as you work to have a healthier, happier, holier marriage.
NOTEWORTHY QUOTES
“Boundaries with your spouse can actually draw you closer together.” - Dr. Kim
“Having boundaries in your marriage isn’t meant to be a punishment, it’s meant to be freeing for you and your spouse.” - Christina
“You can’t have true intimacy without boundaries.” - Christina
“I tell singles that I counsel, you have to show the person you’re dating the real you at some point during the dating process.” - Dr. Kim
“It’s unloving and unwise to not set boundaries where they need to be.” - Christina
“To rescue people from the natural consequences of their behavior is to render them powerless.” - Dr. Henry Cloud & John Townsend (from Boundaries book)
“It’s so important to talk about boundaries in your sexual relationship.” - Dr. Kim
“Boundaries helps you understand your marriage relationship better.” - Dr. Kim
“Your spouse’s comfortability should matter to you more than what you want for yourself.” - Christina
“Boundaries are about controlling the only person that you can control: yourself.” - Christina
“Don’t set boundaries to manipulate or control your spouse.” - Dr. Kim
“If you’re in an unhealthy relationship, be prepared for setting boundaries to cause a lot of conflict.” - Dr. Kim
“A boundary without consequences isn’t a boundary at all.” - Christina
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